


peach tree

by yananvation



Series: peach tree [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Oblivious Hwang Hyunjin, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Sexual Humor, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, Slow Burn, Yang Jeongin | I.N is Whipped, Yang Jeongin | I.N is a Sweetheart, all narratives have proper caps and stuff, cause that’s a Thing i did, chatfic, han starts shit a lot but he's not a bad guy i promise, hyunjin has a peach tree, jeongin is chan's little brother, jeongin is lowkey scary, laps lock only in the chats, lucas is hyunjins bff so he'll be around A Lot in chats, oh did i mention chan is in a band called astronaut ft hyung line and jisung, only 2000s-2001 line are high school students tho, other nct members will be mentioned as well aka frat boy johnny, popular yang jeongin | i.n, probably not gonna have nicknames in the chatlogs cause i Will forget who is who, seunginlix are besties, the rest are college students, these tags are a mess im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 57,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21526273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yananvation/pseuds/yananvation
Summary: jeongin: GUYS IM NOT VIBINGjeongin: HYUNJIN PASSED ME A NOTE SAYING MY ACCENT IS CUTE CAUSE I SCOLDED HIM FOR TEXTING THE GC IN CLASS SIR U CANT JUST DO THATfelix: i have an accent too this isn’t fair :(seungmin: god can both of u shut up before u get detention during the first week of schoolseungmin: AGAIN————hwang hyunjin begrudgingly moves to a new school in his senior year. he keeps his head down, doesn’t cause any trouble, yet he still earns himself the label of a freak. that is, until he catches the attention of school sweetheart and golden boy bang jeongin.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Series: peach tree [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836598
Comments: 259
Kudos: 798





	1. vibe check

**Author's Note:**

> EDITED AS OF 9/8/20  
> i have taken w**jin out of this fic as well as the one shot collection that take place after this plot line. i have combined his previous character with minho’s (thus putting chris and minho in a relationship), so if some of the texts are a little confusing, that is why. PLEASE let me know if i missed any sections with him or his name in it, as i did do this in a rush due to it being triggering / upsetting.  
> none of my future works will involve him in any way, shape, or form. thank you and please keep the victims in your thoughts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first day vibe checks

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin ** _

**hyunjin:** lucasssss :(

 **hyunjin:** i’m scared.

 **hyunjin:** i don’t wanna be the new kid AGAIN

 **hyunjin:** every year they just rip me out of whatever garbage school they put me in and throw me into a brand new one

 **hyunjin:** i’m so tired of it

 **hyunjin:** and i keep getting picked on no matter where i go cause of my stupid freak outs and shit i just want a BREAK

_6:32 AM_

**hyunjin:** ugh

_6:35 AM_

**hyunjin:** i forgot to pack my lunch last night and i woke up late so now i’m rushing to get ready

_6:37 AM_

**hyunjin:** i hate timezones

_6:52 AM_

**hyunjin:** my bus is coming

 **hyunjin:** text me when u wake up

_6:54 AM_

* * *

**_ group chat: berry love zone _ **

**jeongin:** first day vibe check my brother ate my fucking toast

 **chan:** IT WAS BERRY ISTG

 **jeongin:** my daughter would never do that to me unlike my ungrateful brother christopher bang

_6:50 AM_

**jeongin:** hold up

_6:52 AM_

**jeongin:** CHRIS

 **jeongin:** DID YOU LEAVE WITHOUT ME

 **changbin:** oh my god

 **minho:** DID U LEAVE MY SON

_6:57 AM_

**chan:** ah

 **chan:** that’s what i didn’t grab on my way out

 **seungmin:** so i take it i’m picking u up

 **jeongin:** PLEASE

 **jisung:** dam... jeong just got two vibe checks from chan in a span of 7 minutes

 **jeongin:** DON’T REMIND ME

 **felix:** he’s abt to get a third when we pull up

_7:01 AM_

* * *

**_ group chat: god’s mistake _ **

**jeongin:** FELIX IF YOU ARE IN THE FRONT SEAT I WILL CONSUME U

 **felix:** >:3c

_7:01 AM_

**felix:** unrelated seungmin got starbucks and won’t share it w me

 **jeongin:** seungmin share it w me im ur fave

 **felix:** RUDE

 **jeongin:** I DESERVE IT IVE HAD A ROUGH DAY !!!!!

 **felix:** YOU WOKE UP HALF AN HR AGO???

 **jeongin:** AND ????

 **jeongin:** i am STARVING i was ABANDONED and u took my SEAT i am having a bad time

 **felix:** wht if u went to heaven but god said ure gonna have a bad time

 **jeongin:** are u perhaps implying sans is god

 **felix:** that is exactly wht i am implying thank u

 **seungmin:** jeong get outside before i leave u like chan did

 **jeongin:** ok ilu

_7:06 AM_

* * *

**_group chat: berry love zone _ **

**felix:** seungmin: fuck u 

jeongin: 💘💕💖 ok ilu 💘💕💖

 **jeongin:** you’re just jealous i’m his favorite

 **felix:** NOT TRUE

_7:12 AM_

**jisung:** y’all r fighting ALREADY it’s not even 7:30

 **jeongin:** brb boutta prove seungmin loves me the most

_7:14 AM_

**jisung:** hm. don’t like that.

 **felix:** MIGEHRFUCKEIS

_7:18 AM_

**changbin:** terrified to ask but what happened

 **felix:** SEUNGMIN GAVE HIM HIS FUCKING STARBUCKS AFTER HE SMACKED ME WHEN I ASKED

 **jeongin:** i have succeeded

 **minho:** proud of u

* * *

**_ private chat: lucas and hyunjin _ **

**lucas:** broooo

 **lucas:** you’re gonna kill it!! don’t sweat it

_7:20 AM_

**lucas:** respond mf

_7:28 AM_

**lucas:** i woke up at 3 am just for this and you ghost me...

 **lucas:** the betrayal...

 **lucas:** the heartbreak...

_7:33 AM_

**hyunjin:** lucas

 **hyunjin:** i think i fucked up

_7:45 AM_


	2. meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin doesn't have any fucking money

_“Ah, shit!”_

Buzzing filled Hyunjin’s ears, sounds of bees fluttering around his head with stingers poised to strike. He sputtered, breathing uneven for a split second before he composed himself. He quickly examined the scene he’d gotten himself into, ready to find the closest opening and bolting at the first sign of trouble.

There was some kind of food on the floor, maybe chips? It was spread out, some crumbs scattered all the way out to the lockers. His books seemed to have had the same fate, though their trajectory was far shorter. He didn’t recognize some of them, so he assumed they belonged to the person he ran into. _Oh my god, he ran into someone-_

“Ah~ I’m so sorry! I should have watched where I was going.” _What?_ Hyunjin walked into them, not the other way around. “Are you okay?”

Hyunjin raised his head to meet his supposed maker, but was met with a kind fennec-like smile and a fluffy head of dark curls. He met the others eyes, nearly gasping at how they shined back at him. He instinctively shied away, not easily fooled by a seemingly nice face. After all, even the sweetest looking foods can leave quite a bitter coating in one’s mouth. “I’m okay, thanks... Are you?”

The boy grinned even wider. His rosy cheeks looked like they were going to split at this rate. “I’m fine! You’re the new kid, right?” He started gathering up both their books, neatly stacking them into piles for their respective owners. “I’m Jeongin, I’m a senior this year.”

Hyunjin quirked an eyebrow, his guard lifting impossibly higher at his forwardness. “Yeah, I’m new... How did you know that, though?”

“Oh, I know everyone! I’ve lived in this school district for, like, ever, so I know a new face when I see one!” He scanned Jeongin, analyzing his response for any hostility, but coming up empty rather quickly. He instead took the chance to focus on his outfit, hoping to gain some kind of grip on his personality from that. He wore ripped denim overalls over a plain white sweatshirt and he could see just a peek of a black t-shirt below that. He looked rather... tame. No glitz or glamour, but no stains or smudges. He was unplaceable within the social rankings just by looking at him, but what he could tell by the glimpse of his extroverted nature probably places him among many’s good graces. The only question was, was this hospitality genuine or simply a trick meant to lull-

“Jeez, you think so damn loud!” Jeongin’s airy laugh cut right through his over dramatic stupor. “I’m not gonna bite you, man, so stop worrying. Though, I might make you buy me something from the vending machine since you made me drop my chips.” He pouted at the crumpled bag, a cute and plump bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly. 

_Wait, buy? He didn’t have any money, like, he didn’t have any fucking money._

His thoughts went a mile a minute yet again till they managed to land on the one thing he did have that was edible. He unzipped his bag and tentatively held out the peach he’d packed earlier. 

Jeongin gaped, waving a hand in refusal. “Dude, it’s okay, I wasn’t ser-“

“T-take it... its the least I can do after causing all this trouble.” Hyunjin, despite his nervous stuttering, still sounded stern enough to shut Jeongin up. He took the fruit from him, holding it up in front of his face like an oddity. He twisted it in his hand, examining it with scrunched eyebrows. “Uhm... it’s a peach.”

“I know that!” He said, cheeks burning and puffed out. “I just... wasn’t expecting it? I don’t see many peaches like this. It’s looks awfully fresh.”

Hyunjin’s heart swelled with pride at his comment. He took the integrity of his peaches very seriously.

“Ah, you know, these are against dress code.” Jeongin suddenly pointed to the mask covering his mouth. “Though, even with that I can still see how big you’re smiling!” He teased, sprinkling in a quiet giggle at the end.

Hyunjin flushed, tugging his mask higher up his face to cover his cheeks. “I... I’m kinda shy about my looks. I don’t want people seeing my face.” 

Jeongin frowned at that, tilting his head to the side like a curious puppy. “I’m sure you look great, don’t worry!” His reassuring smile returned, “But I think you can keep it on till homeroom since we have time left before the bell. After that, the teachers will totally get pissy about it. Especially since you’re new.”

Hyunjin nodded then glanced at the schedule placed on top of his books. “Uhm, I’m sorry if this is a bother, but could you, uh, show me where my homeroom is? This school is so big and no one in the office would help me...” His voice tapered off, preparing to be denied again.

“Of course! I thought you’d never ask~” He giggled, then peered over at Hyunjin’s schedule. “Ah, you’re in my best friends homeroom! I know exactly where that is, come on!” Jeongin scooped up both of their belongings and hopped to his feet. Hyunjin scrambled to do the same and took his books from him, the heavy weight of them in his arms making him grunt.

_Jesus, how did Jeongin manage to hold both of their stuff? Just how strong was he?_

Jeongin lead Hyunjin through the packed hallways, weaving through them like he owned them. He would turn his head every so often, eyes searching for Hyunjin and sending a giddy smile to him when he found he was still pattering on close behind him. Once they reached the classroom, Jeongin spoke up.

“Oh! By the way, I never got your name.” 

“Its Hyunjin, Hyunjin Hwang.”

Jeongin repeated his name a few times under his breath then nodded. “Its great to meet you, Hyunjin! I think we have 2nd period together, so keep an eye out for me, yeah? See ya!” He sent a bright smile his way then bounded off down the hall before Hyunjin could breathe a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u guys like this first narrative !!! its meet cute....


	3. called it

_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**felix:** jeong where r u

_7:50 AM_

**felix:** everyone keeps talking abt that new kid PLEASE get a hobby

**seungmin:** idk why it’s such a big deal

**seungmin:** they’re not an exchange student or anything special

**seungmin:** also jeongin where r u

**seungmin:** its been like 10 mins the vending machine isn’t that far away

**felix:** ugh wanna bet he met the new kid

**felix:** stop being a chad for once and get back here we have to compare schedules

_7:54 AM_

**jeongin:** fellas

**felix:** don’t trust that greeting

**seungmin:** i bought u milk

**jeongin:** seungmin i would take down an entire government for u

**jeongin:** anyways

**jeongin:** dropped my chips after running into someone

**felix:** if it’s the new kid i’m gonna YARK

**jeongin:** it was the new kid and he gave me a peach

**felix:** CALLED IT I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is short i’m trying to get this caught up w my social media version !!


	4. bro...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hahah bro don’t have a panic attack ure so sexy

**_ group chat: god’s mistake _ **

**jeongin:** stop being chadphobic not everyone plays fortnite

 **felix:** I AM A MINECRAFTER FIRST AND HUMAN SECOND HOW DARE YOU

 **jeongin:** actin all tough rn but when i walk in w the last pack of pink hostess snowballs ure gonna be worshipping the ground i walk on

 **felix:** You.

 **felix:** Share W Me.

 **jeongin:** i bought them for u dumbass

 **felix:** I LOVE U YOURE MY BFF I WKCHIWUF

 **jeongin:** i luv u too

 **jeongin:** hey think fast

 **felix:** YOU FUCKIGN THREW IT AT EMEB

 **seungmin:** he told u to think fast

 **seungmin:** clearly u didn’t think fast enough

* * *

**_ private chat: lucas and hyunjin _ **

**lucas:** are you okay??

 **hyunjin:** i bumped into some guy and our books went EVERYWHERE and his food did too so i gave him a peach like a weirdo and now i’m shaking and the buzzing won’t go AWAY

 **lucas:** what happened?? was he a jerk???

 **hyunjin:** no he walked me to class but now i’m scared cause he could be popular and even though he was nice to me i can’t help but worry he’s gonna use that against me or smth

 **lucas:** bro

 **lucas:** i love you. you are my best friend.

 **lucas:** which is why i have every right to say this

 **lucas:** sometimes you panic over things that haven’t happened yet

 **lucas:** or might not happen at all!!

 **lucas:** that dude was chill. he didn’t get mad when you bumped into him and even walked you to class!!!! he didn’t HAVE to do that!!!! he seems cool so don’t blow it just cause your dumb brain won’t shut up

 **lucas:** and if he’s popular and you’re on his good side that means no one will fuck with you

 **hyunjin:** i guess so

 **hyunjin:** i’m just

 **hyunjin:** you’re right. i need to calm down

 **hyunjin:** homeroom is starting now

 **hyunjin:** thank u bro ilu

 **lucas:** ok i’m going back to bed then good luck!!!

 **lucas:** text me if anything happens, okay??? ilu2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY all caught up w the social media version.... next update will be on wednesday !!!


	5. should i?

**_ group chat: god's mistake _ **

**jeongin:** i just walked into 2nd period and hyunjin is already there should i sit next to him

_8:42 AM_

**felix:** who's hyunjin

_8:43 AM_

**seungmin:** is tht the new kid

 **jeongin:** ya he seems so lonely it makes me angy

 **jeongin:** when we talked earlier he was so quiet like he was scared to talk ?? if tht makes sense

 **jeongin:** i think he's just shy but its cute

 **felix:** go sit w him

 **felix:** i remember how hard it was to move to a new school. when u guys sat next to me back then and started befriending me it helped a lot

 **felix:** even if we didn't stay friends thru all that u still helped me acclimate to the school

 **felix:** im rlly thankful for that

 **seungmin:** stop making me soft in class im vibing

 **jeongin:** dont talk me im vibing

 **jeongin:** i'll sit next to him for u lixie <3 ilu

_8:47 AM_

**jeongin:** wait dont u guys have hr w him

 **seungmin:** oh yeah he's the guy who got scolded for wearing a mask

 **felix:** THATS HYUNJIN???? THE PRETTY BOY??????

 **felix:** god im dumb

 **seungmin:** its ok we still love u

 **jeongin:** alright gonna go sit next to him brb

 **jeongin:** luv u guys see u at lunch

 **seungmin:** bye jeong

 **felix:** see u later my fave chad

_8:50 AM_

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**hyunjin:** i came to class early so i could sit in the back by myself but jeongin keeps staring at meeeee

 **hyunjin:** jeongin is the one who was nice to me earlier after i ran into him

_8:41 AM_

**hyunjin:** he keeps looking at his phone then back up at me im. kinda scared

_8:43 AM_

**hyunjin:** am i being dramatic or is that sketchy

_8:47 AM_

**hyunjin:** HES' WALKIGN OVER HERE

 **hyunjin:** LIUE CAS

 **hyunjin:** ITHINK HES GOIFNITO SIT NECT TOI EM

_8:50 AM_

* * *

“Hyunjin?” Jeongin tentatively said as he sat down. He wasn’t sure now, his mask shed and face buried in work that he hadn’t even seemed to have begun yet.

Hyunjin perked up at his name, head swiveling towards the sound of his voice. “Oh, Jeongin... Hey.” He sounded guarded, probably a tad uncomfortable as well. It confused Jeongin, as only a select few of the student body ever held such a high boundary when it came to him. He didn’t want Hyunjin to be one of them.

“I don’t know what you were so afraid of, you look really nice!” He said without thinking. He visibly cringed at his own words, but quickly covered it with a tight lipped smile.

“Uh, what?” Hyunjin quirked an eyebrow, narrowing his eyes in a half glare.

Jeongin felt his face heat up in embarrassment, skin burning all the way to the tips of his ears. “Uhm, earlier you said you were nervous about people seeing your face.” He paused, awkwardly trying to sort through the words. “I- I think your face is nice, so, I don’t think you had anything to worry about.”

He watched as Hyunjin’s mouth opened then closed repeatedly, brows knit as he probably had his own internal debate on what to say to that shitshow of a compliment. Honestly, had he not totally made a fool of himself already, he would tease him for looking like his brothers grumpy little pet goldfish.

Hyunjin, having had enough of his inability to speak, muttered a soft thanks to Jeongin. He dutifully offered a smile in kind, his eyes flitting closed for a split second before the greatest idea he has ever mustered popped into his head. 

“Hey, would you wanna sit with me and my friends during lunch?”


	6. cheelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he’s in his cheelings rn

_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**felix:** i’m in my cheelings (changbin feelings)

_9:19 AM_

**jeongin:** please do not start love posting abt changbin in this chat

 **jeongin:** wait get off ur PHONE you’re supposed to be in PHYSICS

 **felix:** and ure supposed to be in eng rn but here we are

 **jeongin:** yeah but i’m actually good at eng unlike u who has failed science 2 yrs in a row

_9:21 AM_

**jeongin:** anyways wht did changbin do this time did he “hahah.... without me ?” u

 **felix:** KDJWKDHS SHUT UP HES NOT A FUCKBOY

 **felix:** he sent me a good morning txt and said he’ll visit us during lunch today!!!

 **seungmin:** ugh i forgot their comp department flooded

 **seungmin:** tht means chris and co will bother us during lunch till it’s fixed GOD

 **seungmin:** i thought we finally escaped them when they graduated last year

 **jeongin:** u say that like we don’t hang out w them at least 3 times a week

_9:32 AM_

**jeongin:** hyunjin keeps asking me questions abt english in the tiniest little voice king i would do anything for u

_9:41 AM_

**jeongin:** hyunjin: jeongin... can u pwease help w this ? 🥺

me, who completed the assignment in 60 secs and has been vibing ever since: say no more, move over

 **felix:** HE SAID TO HELP NOT TO GIVE HIM ALL THE ANSWERS

 **jeongin:** IM NOT IM JUST LOOKING AT WHT HE HAS SO FAR !!!!

 **jeongin:** he told me he’s been in korea for like a yr so adjusting to everything in eng again is harder for him rn so i’m translating

 **felix:** finally u learning korean for the old hag is paying off

 **jeongin:** thx gma i still hate u

_9:44 AM_

**seungmin:** my advanced physical science teacher keeps glaring at me cause i keep challenging her theories

 **jeongin:** smart boy seungmin gets detention on the first day for having the sexiest iq

 **felix:** stop fighting w her i have her next and i don’t wanna deal w her bitchy mood

 **seungmin:** I CANT HELP IT SHES IRKING ME TO MY CORE

_9:48 AM_

**jeongin:** WAIT

 **jeongin:** DID I TELL U GUYS I INVITED HYUNJIN TO SIT W US AT LUNCH

 **jeongin:** I CANT REMEMBER

 **felix:** u did not

 **seungmin:** do either of us have the ability to veto this ruling

 **jeongin:** no cause u haven’t even met him yet

 **jeongin:** after tht tho if u don’t like him i won’t do it again

 **seungmin:** ok deal

 **felix:** physics teacher boutta confiscate my phone brb gotta pretend i’m texting my mom

_9:54 AM_

**jeongin:** tell them ur mom gay

 **seungmin:** hahah lix’s mom gay

 **jeongin:** lix’s 🌈 mom 🌈 gay 🌈

 **seungmin:** lix’s!!!! mom!!!!!!! gay!!!!!!!!!

 **felix:** my mom gay

* * *

**_ private chat: lucas and hyunjin _ **

**hyunjin:** update i have been invited to sit w jeongin and his friends at lunch

 **hyunjin:** i am terrified

_9:47 AM_

**lucas:** IM WAKE HOW IS IT GOING

 **lucas:** is it lunch yet

_12:09 PM_

**hyunjin:** unfortunately for me yes

 **hyunjin:** i have nothing to eat and i am So Afraid

 **hyunjin:** jeongin is walking me to the cafeteria brb i’ll let u if i have a panic attack for the 60th time today

 **lucas:** ok ilu good luck u dramatic bitch

_12:14 PM_

* * *

Hyunjin followed closely as Jeongin skipped along to the cafeteria, greeting other students and faculty with a beaming smile. He doesn’t know why he agreed to sit with him. He knew it would probably end badly, but a part of him figured anything was better than eating in the boys bathroom on the first day. Again.

“Seungmin~ Felix~ I brought Hyunjin!” Jeongin singsonged as he swung his lunchbox onto the table and plopped down across from the two. He then motioned for Hyunjin to take a seat beside him. “Hyunjin, these are my best friends, Seungmin and Felix.” He pointed to one with crooked glasses that sat a tad too far down the bridge of his nose and a glare that could make Freddy Krueger’s blood curdle. He then pointed to another boy with dyed blond hair and a smile that could rival Jeongin’s own. The two were complete opposites, but both seemed to preen like newly praised puppies when Jeongin acknowledged them. “You have homeroom with them, right?”

“Sorry I didn’t say hi earlier! I was kinda distracted...” The blond, Felix, flushed and held out a hand for Hyunjin to shake. He complied, taken aback by how strongly Felix gripped his hand despite how- _Oh my god, his hands are so small!_ “I hope we can be friends! I know how hard it is to be the new kid, so if you need anything just give me a shout!”

Hyunjin timidly thanked him and turned towards Seungmin who had opened his mouth to speak, but was caught off by a ruckus heading their way.

“Ugh, can’t we get any peace?” Seungmin complained, dramatically throwing his arms on the table and slamming his head onto them. His fluffy hair bounced at the harshness of the motion. Jeongin reached out to thread his slender fingers through the strands, giving them a soft tug. He then heard Jeongin snicker followed by a muffled shout — or maybe whine?— from Seungmin that only made him cackle harder.

It was oddly difficult for him not to smile when he saw Jeongin’s. It was contagious. He found his lips curling as he watched the laughter pour from his lips, even his eyes were glimmering with pure, unadulterated joy. However, that smile, or whatever poor excuse of one he’d worn, had evaporated once he saw the hurricane of a group approaching the table.

He instantly tensed, shrinking in on himself in a desperate attempt to make himself unnoticed. That attempt failed, however, as Jeongin gently bumped his shoulder into his. With a concerned jut of his lip, he whispered, “Are you alright?”

Hyunjin couldn’t mask his body’s jolt as the table creaked and the weight shifted as new bodies claimed and filled the remaining spots. He subconsciously leaned closer to Jeongin as one perky individual in particular took a seat directly next to him.

He had horribly bleached blonde hair, several shades lighter than Felix’s and much... crispier, like burnt angel hair pasta. He also had an eyebrow piercing and, judging from the ripples in his purposefully ill fitting t-shirt, a fit body. He could easily snap Hyunjin in half like he was a flimsy dollar store ruler.

“Heya, I’m Chan! Are you the new kid everyone’s blabbering about?” The blonde grinned, smacking a hand on his back in greeting. His muscles tensed and his skin crawled at his overfamiliarity.

“Bro, who the fuck says ‘blabbering’?” A boy with chubby cheeks and an obnoxious sounding snort had quipped from beside Felix. “What are you, 80?”

Chan rolled his eyes, “Can it, Ji, or I’m not driving you home.”

“Don’t you guys have producing shit to do?” Jeongin piped in, a definitive pout on his lips as he picked apart an innocent gummy bear with his nails.

“Awe~ Is my baby brother cranky? Do you need a nappy?” Chan cooed, boasting a smile so wide it made Hyunjin’s cheeks hurt just looking at it.

Hyunjin had doubted it for a moment, but it was clear they were brothers. They didn’t look anything alike, from the hills of their noses to the curves of their cheekbones and shapes of their faces, they were undoubtedly different. But once you laid eyes on their twin grins, you knew. They were gleaming and genuine and, truth be told, gorgeous. One look and you could feel yourself being pulled into their orbit. No amount of struggling would deter your fate, only prolonging the inevitable. Though, he doesn’t think many would complain about something like that.

Chan reached across Hyunjin to pinch at Jeongin’s puffed out cheeks. “C'mon, don’t be like that!” he whined.

The latter batted his hand away, turning his back to them with his arms crossed over his chest like a bratty little kid. “I’m still mad at you for eating my toast this morning! And for leaving me behind!” 

“It was an accident! I thought you were going with Seungmin!”

“Uhm, is no one gonna comment on the fact there’s a new guy here or-“ A dude with the thickest and, dare he say, sexiest arms Hyunjin has ever seen interrupted the twos bickering. “I’m Changbin, by the way.”

Hyunjin nodded and introduced himself to the new attendants of the table. It didn’t take long for all of them to eagerly start bombarding him with questions:

“When did you move here?”

“What grade are you in? You look like a senior, but you could also be a sophomore.”

“Is that a lip ring? Wow, it looks hot on you! Who did it?”

“Who invited you to sit here? Its pretty unusual for someone like you to be here.”

The last was from Jisung. He can already tell he’s not one for tact. 

He can’t dwell on his developing dislike of him though, cause he’s now painfully aware of the other students around them beginning to stare and whisper amongst themselves. He was right, what was he doing there. Their eyes and words felt heavy on his skin, weighing him down like cement blocks and leaving him to drown under the surface. He felt his palms begin to sweat, clamming up and trembling. His ears started to thrum again, all his senses becoming electric yet numbed at the same time. 

He felt a swift tug to his sweatshirt. He jerked his head down to see a hand tightly knotted in the fabric. His gaze traveled upwards and he was met with the welcoming, kind eyes of Jeongin. He gave him a reassuring smile and he could already feel the anxiety dissipate, the violent thumping of wasp wings molting into delicate flutters of butterflies. “Hey, don’t worry. Jisung is just dumb, he didn’t mean anything by what he said.”

“I’m not dumb!” He heard a voice call, but he heard another snap a fierce _zip it!_ in return. He was too focused on the one in front of him to pinpoint which voice belonged to who. He felt his heart’s booming beat dwindle into a soft pattering. He gave Jeongin a feeble grin, then turned to the remnants of the table.

“I think we should go, we’ve caused enough trouble for a week in a span of a few minutes.” Chan nervously joked, rising from his seat and grinning proudly as the others followed suit. He looked down to Hyunjin one last time and rested a hand on his shoulder. He gave it a comforting squeeze then bid his goodbyes to the boys. The others did the same, only Changbin lingering a moment longer to whisper something in Felix’s ear. whatever it was had earned him a playful shove and a shy smile before he skipped along to join his friends.

“Nice to see Jisung still never fails to leave a good impression.” Seungmin muttered, shaking his head in dismay. He looked mad for a second, but then a worried crease in his brow appeared as he met Hyunjin’s eyes. “Are you good?”

“We’re sorry about him, he really doesn’t think before he says things sometimes.” Felix added with a nervous bite to his lip. “He’s super nice though! Promise!” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more so than Hyunjin.

“Don’t overthink it, yeah? He’s not used to seeing other people sit with us. He didn’t mean it in a rude way.” Jeongin explained.

“Its- its okay.” Though their words were warm, it didn’t qualm his anxieties. “I’m fine, I think.”

_ Who let someone like you sit here? _

_ Someone like you... _

“Hey, did you not bring a lunch or something?” Seungmin asked, taking pity on him and changing the subject, only to throw him into another uncomfortable one.

“Uh, no-“ He began, but was quickly interrupted.

“Here, take mine,” Jeongin insisted, slipping his lunch box in front of Hyunjin.

“I really- I can’t take this, Jeongin.” He tried to give it back, he really did! But he ignored his efforts, opting to scavenger portions from Felix and Seungmin’s trays.

“Tell me, that peach you gave me earlier this morning, was that supposed to be your lunch?”

Well, that certainly wasn’t good. His cadence had changed. It was tighter and tenser, yet still meekly attempted to hold onto its prior bright attitude. He noticed how his expression was different as well, features tweaked ever so slightly. He felt like he was looking at live wires sparking dangerously close to open water. Open water that he was still wadding in.

“I couldn’t afford to buy lunch and forgot to pack one this morning,” He mumbled. Gosh, he felt like a sullen child being pressed to explain how a vase mysteriously disappeared from the living room and why shattered glass was in the trash can.

Jeongin was silent for a moment, absently chewing on a fry he’d snatched from Felix. “I see... Can you do me a favor?”

“Uhm, depends, I guess.” He shrugged, taking a tentative bite of the sandwich from Jeongin’s lunch box. He held back a moan at how delicious it was. He silently scolded himself for forgetting how peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were god’s gift to mankind.

Jeongin huffed, puffing out his cheeks at him. His previous agitation wiped clean. “Please? I promise its not anything bad.”

Hyunjin sighed, relenting himself to the other with a nod. He hoped he wouldn’t come to regret it.

Jeongin broke out into a wide grin, “Okay! Next time you’re stuck in a situation like today, just text me, alright? I know its super weird, but please? I can make an extra lunch for you and everything!” 

Hyunjin set the half eaten sandwich down, a harsh frown dampening his features. “Jeongin, seriously, I can’t let you do that. You’re way too nice to me and I can’t do anything for you in return.”

“Bro, if you wanted Hyunjin’s number you didn’t have to offer to make him lunch every day,” Felix said through a mouth of grease soaked fries. Seungmin hid a snort behind his hand.

“I'm not making him lunch every day! Only when he doesn’t have money and doesn’t have time to make himself lunch.” Jeongin rolled his eyes, “but fine, I guess that’s a bit much since we don’t know each other well. But if you don’t have lunch, I’ll split mine with you, okay? Half and half, that way we can both eat.”

Hyunjin sighed, “I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“Nope!” All three of them chirped. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh lmk wht u guys think so far !!! feedback would be super appreciated 🥺🥺
> 
> also shoutout to me for giving felix double science classes one after the other


	7. hellscape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> helping hyunjin not die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO this is super super important plot wise please don't skip this  
> as some of u may have noticed i edited the last chapter a bit. i did this because i received some msgs saying my americanization of the school was fucked up since i originally had this based in korea. due to this i switched it to america so obv i had to take certain stuff out from the last chap.  
> important things tht have changed because of this tweak:  
> \- seungmin, jeongin, and felix are all aussie not just jeongin and felix  
> \- hyunjin IS from korea, he moves back and forth between there and the us pretty frequently. he's fluent in both languages.
> 
> okay thank u sm for reading and lmk wht u think of this chap !!!!! we're getting to some Good Stuff soon soooo.... :)

_seungmin created a new group_

_seungmin added jeongin, felix, and hyunjin_

_seungmin changed group name to lost boys_

**seungmin:** greetings fools welcome to the gc for helping hyunjin not get lost in this hellscape

 **seungmin:** i have homeroom and 6th period w u so ill walk u to 6th

_1:23 PM_

**felix:** i have hr, 5th, and 7th w u

 **jeongin:** i have 2nd and 4th with u but i can take u to 3rd since its only across the hall from my class

 **hyunjin:** thank u guys but u don't have to go through all this for me :(

_1:26 AM_

**seungmin:** too bad

_1:28 PM_

**seungmin:** anyways gtg

 **felix:** gtg x2

 **jeongin:** unlike these cowards i dont have to go yet but ill dm u brb

 **hyunjin:** ???

_1:34 PM_

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**jeongin:** hyunjin

 **hyunjin:** jeongin

_1:34 PM_

**jeongin:** ik we went over this earlier but im rly sorry abt wht jisung said

 **jeongin:** it was rude and even tho he didnt mean anything by it it still made u upset so.... ill beat him up for u 😡😡

 **jeongin:** not rly but i hope u know the sentiment is there

_1:36 PM_

**hyunjin:** its okay ig? tbh i was wondering the same thing he asked

 **hyunjin:** u guys are popular and im..... not

 **hyunjin:** im not exactly the type to be well liked, yknow???

 **jeongin:** idk

_1:37 PM_

**jeongin:** i know we're popular but i promise we're not jerks

 **jeongin:** we're not the kind of ppl to judge so harshly

 **jeongin:** ok my teacher is here i gtg

 **jeongin:** ill ttyl !!!!!!

 **hyunjin:** okay good luck!

_1:40 PM_

* * *

_ **group chat: lost boys** _

**felix:** wait can i change the gc name

_2:13 PM_

**seungmin:** ill give u a tentative yes

 **jeongin:** gonna regret this real fast fellas

_2:15 PM_

**hyunjin:** should i be worried

 **seungmin:** tentative yes x2

_felix changed group name to 'stupid boy think that i need him'_

**jeongin:** not as bad as i first suspected it to be

_2:20 PM_

**felix:** listen it fucks

 **seungmin** : at least something does in this gc

 **jeongin:** CAN U STOP CALLING ANYTHING W MORE THAN TWO ATOMS A VIRGIN

 **seungmin:** well if u made it clap like yangyang said maybe i would

 **jeongin:** neither you nor yangyang should know anything about pussy aerodynamics

 **felix:** OSUHIUDFYUKHFWEPSUSYAERODYSHNAMICS

 **hyunjin:** p. pussy aerodynamics???

_2:25 PM_

**hyunjin:** wait

_hyunjin changed group name to 'pussy aerodynamics'_

**jeongin:** HYUJSDFNMHSD

 **felix:** NOOOISYEFUHSJ

 **seungmin:** STOP IT MY TEACHER IS STARIN ATME KJA SDBHEW

_2:27 PM_

* * *

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

_felix sent 3 screenshots_

**felix:** someone collect these rowdy boys

 **changbin:** PUSSY AERODYNAMICS???????????? HELLO?????????

 **minho:** IS THT LIP RING BOY IN THE CHAT?

 **minho:** expanding your victim pool i see

 **jeongin** : >:( shut up he's nice

 **jeongin:** anyways

 **jeongin:** astronauts music hits different when u turn tht shit off

 **chan:** this is why i dont let u come to our gigs anymore

 **jeongin:** no i dont come to ur gigs anymore cause mom found out jisung offered me weed

 **jisung:** Ah.

 **jisung:** The Wrath of Mrs. Bang

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**hyunjin:** IM FREE

 **hyunjin:** day one complete

_2:46 PM_

**lucas:** im in lunch rn

 **lucas:** its so lame

 **lucas:** jaehyun keeps stealing my phone cause im ignoring him sir its not my fault u bore me

_2:50 PM_

**hyunjin:** DONT BULLY HIM HES LIKE 80 FT TALL HE COULD STEP ON YOU

 **lucas:** hyunjin.

 **lucas:** im taller than him now.

 **hyunjin:** WHAT

_2:53 PM_

**hyunjin:** oh my god

 **hyunjin:** i need a minute

 **hyunjin:** my whole world has been turned upside down

_2:57 PM_

**lucas** : STOP BEING DRAMATIC

 **lucas:** its only an inch and he still wears those ugly ass timbs religiously :/

 **hyunjin** : high heels for men

 **lucas:** yes

 **lucas:** anyways how was ur first day

 **hyunjin:** it was... better than i expected it to be???

 **hyunjin:** u were right jeongin and his friends are rly chill

 **lucas:** im always right

_3:03 PM_

**hyunjin:** then explain your failing grades.

 **lucas:** .

 **hyunjin:** BACK TO ME

_3:04 PM_

**hyunjin:** jeongin helped translate for me today in 2nd period!!!! he's korean too but he said he hasnt been there since he was 10

 **hyunjin:** he told me seungmin (one of his friends) can help me too sometimes cause he goes every summer to visit family

 **hyunjin:** this one guy at lunch was a total prick tho

 **hyunjin:** jeongin and his friends made sure i was okay cause i started to freak a lil

 **hyunjin:** sry im rambling i just had?? a rly good day???? i hope i stick w them but theyre so popular and UGH

_3:10 PM_

**lucas:** ITS OKAY SRRY FOR NOT REPLYING IM IN CLASS NOW

 **lucas:** im so proud of u!!!!!! for going out of ur comfort zone and making friends!!!!!!!!!!

 **lucas:** if you guys stay friends I Must Meet Them.

 **lucas:** they have to pass my lucas test

 **hyunjin:** i will literally never let u meet them if you say the words lucas test to me again

 **lucas** : .

 **lucas:** noted.

_3:31 PM_


	8. dessert chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no one respects chan in this house

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

**jeongin** : chris stop txting me im busy

_4:56 PM_

**jisung** : dms exist

 **chan** : JUST TELL ME WHT U WANT FOR DINNER

_4:58 PM_

**jeongin** : oh wait can minho come over and make his special pasta 🥺🥺🥺

 **minho** : i would pluck the stars straight from the night sky if you asked me to

 **chan** : okay i see how it is minho u won't answer my calls but you reply to my brother i see i see

 **chan** : no one respects me in this house

_5:00 PM_

**jeongin** : i've seen you projectile vomit immediately after shotgunning funfetti cake mix

 **minho** : i've seen u devour a plate of ihop pancakes then walk directly across the street to a wendys to order spicy chicken nuggets and proceed to dip them in a chocolate frosty all before the tender hour of 5 pm

_5:03 PM_

**jisung** : WHAT

 **changbin** : chan i think we need to break up. i can't be with a man like this.

 **chan** : WE ARENT DATING

 **felix** : WHAT IS WRONG W YOU

_5:08 PM_

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin** : jeong.

_5:09 PM_

**seungmin** : jeongin bang.

_5:11 PM_

**seungmin** : JASON.

_5:13 PM_

**jeongin** : do not use my english name in this christian chat you traitor

 **jeongin** : and wht

_5:14 PM_

**seungmin** : did i just read that chan dips spicy chicken nuggets in frosties

 **felix** : IM STILL REELING

 **felix** : PLEASE SAY ITS NOT TRUE IM BEGGING YOU

_5:18 PM_

**jeongin** : its true

 **jeongin** : hes just like tht

 **hyunjin** : okay listen.

 **hyunjin** : is it that different from dipping fries in ice cream tho

_5:20 PM_

**felix** : hyunjin what the fuck is wrong w you that you would DEFEND that

 **hyunjin** : SWEET AND SAVORY

 **jeongin** : normal chicken nuggets in vanilla ice cream i can vibe with but spicy ????? in chocolate ????

 **seungmin** : NEITHER OF THOSE ARE ACCEPTABLE THINGS TO DO

_5:25 PM_

**jeongin** : okay but consider

 **jeongin** : dessert chicken

 **felix** : but consider: not saying that again

 **hyunjin** : no im interested let him talk

 **jeongin:** thank u im glad someone appreciates me

_5:32 PM_

* * *

_**group chat: god's mistake** _

**jeongin** : hey how do we feel abt hyunjin

_5:34 PM_

**seungmin** : idk yet

 **seungmin** : too soon to tell but he seems chill ig

 **seungmin** : wouldn't mind him eating w us again

 **felix** : same

_5:37 PM_

**felix** : he talks a lot more thru text but its still not enough to get a read on him

 **felix** : but so far he's super nice 🥺 and rly funny

 **felix** : dunno if he'll stick around but i'll savor the laffs while he's here

_5:40 PM_

**jeongin** : ok cool we're all on the same page then

_5:43 PM_

**felix** : ??? i thot u liked him though

 **jeongin** : i do but i liked jisung too and look where tht got us

_5:52 PM_

**seungmin** : fair

 **felix** : tru but tht wasnt your fault

 **jeongin** : i wanna give him a chance but if he gives u bad vibes he's OUT no questions asked

 **felix** : jeongie :(

 **jeongin:** Out.

_6:00 PM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter i think is the last before a bigger timeskip ?? (only a few days) and next few updates.... theyre a doozy but yall will love it !!! also would u guys prefer me only doing one update a week (on wednesdays prolly) thats just one long chapter vs two updates a week with two short chapters ??  
> anyways. questions, comments, concerns ???  
> ilu guys !!! thank u sm for reading !!!!!


	9. carpool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seungmin just wants ppl 2 join his carpool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a late update !!! ive been exhausted lately and i think after this im only gonna update on wednesdays... but the chaps will be longer cause of tht so dw.

**[2 WEEKS LATER. SEPTEMBER 16TH.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin** : bitches

 **seungmin** : who am i taking to school today

_7:21 AM_

**jeongin** : chris isnt even up yet so me probably

_7:23 AM_

**felix** : me

_7:27 AM_

**hyunjin** : im taking the bus

 **seungmin** : no ure not send me ur address

 **hyunjin** : no its chill i live kinda far

_7:30 AM_

**seungmin** : Send Me Your Address

 **jeongin** : seungmin, holding a gun to hyunjins head: Join My Carpool.

_7:32 AM_

**hyunjin** : >:(

_[HYUNJIN SENT A LOCATION]_

_7:33 AM_

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin** : hyunjin please stop staring at me whenever i speak challenge

_9:01 AM_

**hyunjin** : i can't help it ur accent always catches me off guard >:(

 **felix** : ALL 3 OF US HAVE ACCENTS WHY IS JEONG SPECIAL

 **hyunjin** : idk his is different ig isudfkhj

 **hyunjin** : it sounds nice

_9:05 AM_

**felix** : rude

 **felix** : i also exist

_9:07 AM_

**seungmin** : debatable.

 **felix** : WHT DOES THT EVEN MEAN

_9:10 AM_

**jeongin** : my accent is gross i dont like it

 **jeongin** : its so neutral now :( and sounds uglee w my voice

 **seungmin** : ur accent fucks

 **jeongin** : thank u seungmin urs is also sexy

 **felix** : WHT ABT ME

_9:13 AM_

**felix** : HELLO!!!!!!!!

_9:17 AM_

**jeongin** : anyways.

 **jeongin** : class

 **jeongin** : pay attention aussie clowns and hyunjin

_9:20 AM_

* * *

_**group chat: god's mistake** _

**jeongin** : IM HAVING A BREAKDOWN

_9:22 AM_

**jeongin** : HYUNJIN SLID ME A NOTE AND IT SAID

 **jeongin** : "I THINK YOUR ACCENT IS REALLY CUTE..."

 **jeongin** : AND THEN HE SMILED AT ME SND HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT ME TO SCOLD HIM FOR TXTING THE GC AGAIN SO HE WROTE THT ISNTEAD AND I 

**jeongin** : IM NOT VIBING

_9:26 AM_

**jeongin** : IM SO FUCKING ANGY HE CANT JUST DO THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM NOT VIBING !!!!!!!!!!!!!

_9:28 AM_

**jeongin** : barely two weeks into school and im already losing it

_9:31 AM_

**seungmin** : hahah jeong gay

 **felix** : clear the searches jeong gay jeong homosexual jeong mlm

 **jeongin** : SHUT UUUUPPPPPPPP

_9:35 AM_

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**jeongin** : hyunjin :(

_12:02 PM_

**jeongin** : im sorry if chris' friends made u uncomfortable ik jisung left a shitty impression

 **jeongin** : + theyre A Lot

 **jeongin** : i can ask them to stop sitting w us ?? technically chris and them can't even be in the cafeteria cause they're not even students here anymore

_12:06 PM_

**jeongin** : hyunjin ?? please tell me youre okay at least

 **jeongin** : im worried :(

_12:09 PM_

**hyunjin** : im fine jeongin!!

 **hyunjin** : i just got too overwhelmed cause they haven't sat w us since i met them

 **hyunjin** : and jisung keeps,, staring at me i feel like he's angry w me

_12:12 PM_

**jeongin** : he's pissy chris didn't let them sit w us cause of his little stunt last time

 **jeongin** : ill tell him to get over it

_12:15 PM_

**hyunjin** : no no its fine!!!! ill get used to it

 **jeongin** : ugghhhh hyunjin :( u shouldnt have to get used to it. youre our friend and jisung has to accept tht and not be a baby abt it cause big bad chris RIGHTFULLY scolded him for being a prick to u

 **hyunjin** : it wasnt tht bad i was just being dramatic

 **hyunjin** : im sorry i keep making it such a big deal

 **hyunjin** : ill be alright next time, okay??? im sorry :(

_12:21 PM_

**jeongin** : promise ?

 **jeongin** : and dont feel bad ill eat u

_12:25 PM_

**hyunjin** : i promise!!!!

_12:27 PM_

* * *

**_private chat: lucas and hyunjin_ **

**hyunjin** : bro i cant breathe rn

 **hyunjin** : this one guy who sits w us sometimes kept glaring at me and i started to lose it

 **hyunjin** : and i ran off to hide in the bathroom but ppl keep walking in cause its a fucking Bathroom and i feel like im suffocating

_12:02 PM_

**hyunjin** : fuck its so dumb im sorry

_12:05 PM_

**hyunjin** : jeongin is texting me cause he's worried why does he have to be so NICE

 **hyunjin** : i told him its fine but its not an di still cant breathe bro im oisdljksa

_12:16 PM_

* * *

_ **group chat: god's mistake** _

**felix** : uh

 **felix** : just a warning

 **felix** : some ppl r saying things abt hyunjin

_12:58 PM_

**jeongin** : what kind of things

_1:01 PM_

**felix** : Not Good Things

_1:04 PM_

**seungmin** : is it the dumbass baseball team again

 **felix** : yeah

 **seungmin** : fuck jock rights

_1:10 PM_

**jeongin** : you licherally used to be a jock

 **seungmin** : and? what abt it?

_1:12 PM_

**jeongin** : MOVING ON

 **jeongin** : ill kill them later igtg to class

 **seungmin** : ill do it for u dont worry

_1:15 PM_

* * *

_ **private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**jeongin** : hey if anyone messes w u will you lmk ??

_1:17 PM_

**hyunjin** : is someone planning on messing with me?

 **jeongin** : i dont know

 **jeongin** : just

 **jeongin** : please tell me, okay ?

_1:20 PM_

**hyunjin** : sure ig?

 **hyunjin** : but should i be worried for my safety

_1:27 PM_

**hyunjin** : jeongin???

_1:30 PM_

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and lucas** _

_[HYUNJIN SENT A SCREENSHOT]_

**hyunjin** : what goes on

_1:34 PM_

**lucas** : HI MY PHONE ALMOST GOT CONFISCATED AGAIN

 **lucas** : also what the fuck does that MEAN

_1:50 PM_

**hyunjin** : should i ask the others or smth??

 **hyunjin** : also maybe if u stopped texting in class

_1:52 PM_

**lucas** : yes obv this is literally ur safety on the line

 **lucas** : and FUCK you

 **hyunjin** : luv u too king

_1:55 PM_

* * *

_** group chat: pussy aerodynamics ** _

**hyunjin** : hey can anyone tell me why jeongin sent me a text asking me to tell him if anyone fucks w me then dipped

_2:02 PM_

**seungmin** : hm

 **seungmin:** ppl are spreading rumors so

 **seungmin:** hes just being cautious probably

_2:10 PM_

**hyunjin** : of what tho

_2:14 PM_

**hyunjin** : h. hello??

_2:25 PM_

**hyunjin** : guys????

_2:37 PM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt rly like this chapter cause it was filler hggghhh... anyways narrative next update !!!!  
> as always lmk wht u guys think !


	10. discuss me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !! WARNING !!  
> there will be use of homophobic slurs in this chapter. please keep this in mind before reading.

“Isn’t that the weirdo who started to hang with Jeongin?”

Hyunjin's ears perked up at the sound of Jeongin's name.

“Yeah, but I heard he paid him to make him hang out with him.”

_Are they talking about him?_

“Are you sure? Jeongin’s friends with that rich Kim kid so if he needed money, he’d just ask him. Plus, aren’t his parents, like, super loaded too?”

“I guess so... Maybe it’s cause he’s hot? He seems like a freak though, so it totally kills his fuckability.”

_Kills his... What?_

“ _Fuckablility?_ And please, the only fag in that group is Felix and he’s still pining over that college guy.”

Hyunjin tensed at the mention of Felix. Its none of their business what he does, and how dare they-

"Yeah, but didn't you hear about Chan? Maybe its, like, genetic or something? I mean, have you ever seen Jeongin with a girl before? And isn't he friends with Renjun and Haechan? He could be screwing half the gay population at this school, for all we know."

Hyunjin's teeth ground against each other, hot air streaming from his nose. His jaw felt so tight he felt like an overwound watch, his coils twisted and turned around one another till they simply couldn't move any more.

"But even so, _Hyunjin_? Even faggots have higher standards than that."

Hyunjin sunk further into his chair, folding in on himself as if that would hinder their words from scalding his skin. He anxiously gnawed on the sleeve of his sweater, leg bouncing with nervous energy as he desperately pushed the oncoming feverish rage and panic aside.

He thought he could deal with the rumors when Seungmin mentioned them days before, but he didn’t think there would be so many. Each one burnt through the school like wildfire, leaping from tongue to tongue like rogue embers setting stray kindling alight. There was no containing it, only dealing with the aftermath when it finally ran out of juice.

When he entered the school he was met with a wall of smoke. It made it hard for him to breathe, each breath bringing him to inevitable doom. It invaded his lungs like locusts seeking refuge, their larvae wriggling and writhing underneath his pale skin. No matter how much he scratched and clawed, bit and smacked, he couldn't get the insects in his body to leave. It only worsened as the day went on, the muffled conversations turning to booming jeers from across the hallways. He could feel the smoke swirling inside, taking up every inch of his lungs till he felt more dusty ash and creepy crawlers than flesh and organs.

His only saving grace was the trio who were damn near responsible for it all. Of course, he didn’t really blame them. They were only trying to befriend him and somehow, some way, they succeeded. But that came with a cost all four of them had to pay. A cost that Hyunjin was sure he couldn't afford.

“Hey, Hyunjin, you there?” Felix perched himself on the edge of his desk, leaning back on one hand while the other reached out to flick Hyunjin smack dab in the middle of his forehead. “You look like a spaceman with that far away look in your eye.”

“I’m fine, dude, just...” He trailed off, looking down at his hands as he tried to tune out the new wave of whispers echoing through the classroom. It’s like they had nothing better to do, simply getting off on his torment cause it was an easy way to pass the time.

“Is it cause of the rumors?” Felix’s voice turned soft, a hint of guilt tainting his gentle tone. “I'm sorry, everyone at this school sucks.” He huffed, turning to send a glare to no one in particular.

Hyunjin let out a puff of air from his nose, something vaguely resembling a laugh. He lifted his head to meet his eyes. “You’re telling me?” he joked, but Felix just gave him a pained expression in return. Pained and... knowing. He understood his plight, and Hyunjin didn't know if that calmed him or infuriated him even more.

“It’ll die down soon, Jin,” He reassured, but both of them knew it was a lie. “Just hang tight, yeah?”

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix** : i am going to beat the FUCK out of every loser at this school

_8:21 AM_

**jeongin** : what happened ill kill them

 **felix** : theyre being mean to hyunjin :(

 **hyunjin** : its not a big deal

 **felix** : bro

_8:23 AM_

**felix** : not to be a snitch but u looked like u were gonna either have a panic attack or eviscerate everyone in a 3 mile radius when i walked in

 **hyunjin** : i was not >:(

_8:25 AM_

**jeongin** : hyunjin how many times do i have to tell to u you shouldnt HAVE to deal w it

 **jeongin** : theyre such fucking assholes istg

_8:29 AM_

**seungmin** : hey im fucking seething

 **seungmin** : can mfs stop saying SLURS i hate this school

_8:31 AM_

**felix** : let me guess they were calling me a faggot again

 **seungmin** : yeah

 **jeongin** : im going to take a metal bat to all of their cars

 **jeongin** : and no one will stop me

_8:35 AM_

**felix** : have u considered the police

 **hyunjin** : cops arent real

_8:37 AM_

**jeongin** : cops are just holograms used the gov to keep us in line

 **jeongin** : only god can stop me now

_8:40 AM_

* * *

“Yo , dumbass!” A voice called as Hyunjin strolled into the classroom. He stalled, nearly toppling over in disbelief. He scanned for the voice before ducking his head. He clutched his books to his chest like a safety net. He glanced behind him to- 

_Wait, Jeongin was just there... Where did he go? **Where did he** ** go ? ** _

He felt the panic rise in his throat like bile. The incessant thwaps of insect wings assaulting his ears, coming out of their fleshy burrows and crawling out from within him. They leered at him from inside, whispering crude insults that made his eyes sting with fresh tears.

“Hey, did you not hear me? Huh? I said, _hey!_ ” The voice called again, this time searing with annoyance. He heard a fist slam onto a desk as he hurriedly tried to pass by. It made him flinch, his books nearly slipping from his grasp.

Suddenly, a warm presence appeared beside him, swinging an arm around his shoulder and banishing all the bugs with it. They tugged him flush to their side. Their aura was an intense contradiction, radiating a calming and protective familiarity yet also oozing an unbridled, boiling rage.

“Is there a problem?” Jeongin’s sugar sweet voice rang. He wore a smile. A grim, harrowing grin that would scare the bejeebies out of death itself. He leaned into the others personal space, unintentionally dragging Hyunjin down with him. “I said, is there a problem, San?”

San gulped, scrambling to take a step back as Jeongin leaned ever further towards him. “No! No, there’s not. We were just talking! right, dude?” He shot Hyunjin a pleading look, voice broken with fear. “Right?”

Jeongin glanced up to Hyunjin, all the fierce intensity in his eyes shed in a moments notice. Hyunjin suddenly felt the weight of the world on him. From San’s frightened eyes and Jeongin’s soothing touch to the curious onlookers pretending to have their heads shoved in their textbooks.

“Uhm, I don’t- I don’t, I...” Jeongin’s hand slid down to his arm, rubbing along it then giving it a soft pat. He instinctively closed his eyes, melting into the touch and praying to any god that was listening that he could just disappear.

“Sannie~” Jeongin giggled, airy malevolence hidden within the cute sounds that nipped at his eardrums. “Leave Hyunjin alone next time, okay?” He paused, feigning concern, “I don’t want anything to distract you from your upcoming game... It’d be such a shame if you got kicked from the team before you even played your first game of the season, hm?”

“No, I- Yeah, yeah, I’ll totally leave him alone! Just, fuck, Bang, please don’t-“

“Good!” Jeongin chirped happily, perking up and out of his personal bubble. San sagged into the desk behind him, relieved. However, he met Jeongin’s eyes once more and immediately tensed. He took this as his cue to retreat, scurrying to his seat before Jeongin changed his mind. Hell,  if he ran any faster he’d have a left a dust cloud.

Jeongin’s cruel grin morphed into a frown of distress as he turned towards Hyunjin. He let his arm fall from his shoulder, but against his better judgement Hyunjin curled closer into his body. “Hyunjin, buddy, are you okay?”

Hyunjin shook his head, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Jeongin bit his lip, gears whirring into overdrive as he thought of what to do. He wrapped his fingers around Hyunjin’s wrist and quickly led him out of the classroom, ignoring the teacher's shouts as she herself entered. He would have laughed if it didn’t feel like he was inhaling wood shavings and rotten honeycombs.

Jeongin shoved him into a supply closet at the end of the hall, flicking the switch on before shutting the door behind him. He took Hyunjin’s hands, delicate milky skin caressing clammy and calloused palms. “Hey, hey, Hyunjin, can you do something for me? It’s really easy, I promise.” He waited for him to nod. “Okay, uhm, every time I do this,” he squeezed his hands, ignoring the violent tremors shaking Hyunjin’s fingers. “Can you take a deep breath for me?”

Hyunjin nodded again, the movement finally spurring the tears to fall down his cheeks. He could have sworn he heard a dejected “oh, buddy...”, but the buzzing was back and it made everything feel like it was swelling. 

He felt itchy, he felt sweaty, he felt nauseous, he felt _bad_. He didn’t like it here, it was too cramped and too hot and the bugs were everywhere. Why are they everywhere? He can feel- he can feel them, underneath his eyelids and, fuck, why won’t they go away? _Please, please, just go-_

“Hyunjin, you’re okay.” Jeongin‘s voice sliced through his panic, through the sweltering heat that surrounded him and the insects. “You’re okay, you're with me. Do you know who I am?”

Hyunjin nodded, “J-Jeongin... Jeongin Bang.”

Even in the dim light of the closet, he could see the painfully relieved smile Jeongin sported. “Yes, yes, I’m Jeongin. And you’re Hyunjin. Hyunjin Hwang. You’re standing in the supply closet on the second floor. You’re holding my hands. And i’m gonna squeeze them and in return you’re gonna take a breath, okay? Can we do that, Hyunjin?”

He nodded once again, fighting back the tremors in his bones.

Jeongin gave his hands firm squeezes and Hyunjin would suck in a rattling breath in time. He could feel Jeongin still each time he did so, patiently waiting for the inevitable release of air from his nostrils.

“You’re doing so well, Hyunjin, I knew you could do it,” He praised after a few bouts of breathing. “Can you do it one more time for me?” He gave him one final squeeze, and Hyunjin breathed in the sturdiest breath he could, flushing it out his nose a few seconds later.

He watched Jeongin’s worry slip away once he opened his eyes. Jeongin dropped his hands, fingertips lingering a tad too long as Hyunjin’s fingers slipped from his grasp. He hesitantly reached out to swipe the globs of tears from his puffy cheeks. 

_Gosh, he probably looked like a mess._

“Good job, good job...” Jeongin whispered, cupping Hyunjin’s tear stained cheeks. He caressed the apples of his cheekbones, thumb pressing gentle circles into the flesh. “You did such a good job, I’m so proud of you.”

Hyunjin sniffled, a broken smile breaking through his tears. He could feel his skin burning underneath Jeongin’s palms. 

Jeongin then squished his reddened cheeks, realization flashing in those sparkly eyes. A teasing smile broke across his face. “Ah~ Hyunjinnie’s a very good boy... You did so well!” Hyunjin watched as Jeongin’s nose scrunched up cutely as he spoke. “I’m so very proud of you!” Hyunjin could feel the heat of his blush reaching the back of his neck now. The tips of his ears probably bore the same shade. “What a pretty color...” Jeongin breathed, fingers stroking the rosy skin. He seemed enraptured by it, slipping his mind that the color was emitted by a living thing. By Hyunjin.

“Stop...” Hyunjin weakly spoke, though part of him didn’t want him to. He never got any affection anymore, not with his parents on work trips for months on end. He was starved of it, always found himself pathetically careening into the faintest touches. Still, he halfheartedly bat his hands away, ignoring the way Jeongin snapped out of his haze with a flush of his own. “Thank you, Jeongin... For, you know, helping me.”

“Oh- Uhm, yeah! Yeah, its, uh, no problem...” Jeongin stuttered, staring down at the grimy floor below his feet. “I’m sorry for leaving you, Hyunjin.” Guilt seeped into his tone, straining it, “I didn’t know San would do that... He’s usually not that mean.”

“Its fine... You came back.”

“I'll always come back for you,” He promised, “We’re friends, right?”

Hyunjin nodded, too scared to speak the words into existence. Too scared that if he did, it would all fall apart.

Jeongin beamed up at him though, with those glittery irises filled with nothing but benevolence. He wasn’t scared to speak those words into the universe, for he held it in those starry eyes. “I’m really glad we’re friends, Hyunjin. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mostly narrative on this one sooo.... aftermath of the supply closet panic attack will have to wait till next update !  
> anyways, what did u guys think ? let me know !!!


	11. supply closet vibes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chillin in supply closets and panic attack aftermath

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

**felix** : ppl at this school discuss me

_9:21 AM_

**minho** : wht are they saying

 **felix** : slurs

 **minho** : brb omw to kill some hs seniors!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **jisung** : i graduated 1 year ago and am fully prepared to walk back into that school right now to beat ass

 **chan** : jisung boutta cause a stir

_9:23 AM_

[ _[JEONGIN SENT AN IMAGE]_ ](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1211045621077032960?s=21)

**jeongin** : fuck class we're chillin in a supply closet

_9:28 AM_

**minho** : why does lipring boy look like death

 **chan** : oh my god get to class i am going to kill you

 **chan** : it is literally your first class of the day

 **chan** : i am hunting you down as we speak

_9:32 AM_

**minho** : drop some f's in the chat for jeong cant believe he died so young 😔

 **felix** : f

 **jisung** : f

 **changbin** : f

_9:34 AM_

* * *

_**group chat: god's mistake** _

**jeongin** : hello i am currently holed up in a supply closet w hyunjin and he's leaning on me and we r missing eng class but he had a panic attack but also now he doesnt wanna leave cause he's scared to get yelled at and also chris might murder me at lunch later and i am losing my mind please help me oh my god

_9:34 AM_

**jeongin** : did i mention it was sorta my fault he had a panic attack cause i left him alone and fucking SAN bothered him

 **jeongin** : his head is on my shoulder and i think he's sleeping but idk fuck man this sux

_9:36 AM_

**jeongin** : me: hates being touched

also me: hahah yeah just sleep on me bro its fine idc

 **jeongin** : i feel so guilty rn if i had stayed w him he wouldnt have panicked but i just HAD to get distracted and wander off

 **jeongin** : my skin feels like its on fire rn

 **jeongin** : cant believe im abt 2 have a panic attack right after calming him down from one lol 

_9:38 AM_

**felix** : shit bro are u okay

_9:45 AM_

**felix** : i thought this was the main gc i didnt know u were upset

 **felix** : the bell rings in like 10 mins do u think u can manage??

_9:49 AM_

**felix** : jeongin?

_9:51 AM_

**felix** : answer me dude im worried

 **jeongin** : im here sorry

 **jeongin** : hyunjin wasn't sleeping

 **jeongin** : he asked me why san was scared of me earlier

 **jeongin** : i told him its probably cause of chris or smth but now im extra On Edge cause wht if he asks chris abt it

_9:55 AM_

**felix** : i dont think he'd do tht

 **felix** : besides chan has ur back he'll keep up the lie

 **felix** : and if he doesn't then seungmin and i will handle it

_9:58 AM_

**jeongin** : thank you

 **felix** : anything for my bestest bros <3

_10:00 AM_

* * *

_ **group chat: berry love zone** _

**jeongin** : we have exited the supply closet

_10:04 AM_

**minho** : proud of u baby

 **seungmin** : i pay attention in class ONE TIME and i miss a whole soap opera huh

 **chan** : Jeongin. I Am Coming For You At Lunch.

 **felix** : lay off chan

_10:08 AM_

**chan** : excuse me?

 **chan** : jeongin is my brother and it is his senior year he cannot just miss class like this

 **chan** : i trust that he had a good reason but i have every right as his FAMILY to scold him for this.

_10:10 AM_

**jeongin** : we are aware i am in this chat correct

 **chan** : i know you are and thats why im saying it.

_10:13 AM_

**chan** : theyre going to call mom and she's gonna freak cause you missed class over who knows what

 **chan** : and i know it was for a good reason but she doesn't

 **jeongin** : chris i love you i rly do but i can't deal w this rn

_10:17 AM_

**jeongin** : ik i shouldnt have skipped class like that and ik they're gonna tell mom abt it so i rly dont need u reprimanding me on top of that

 **jisung** : jeong, go focus on class. its 3rd period now, right? you can talk about this later.

 **minho** : jisung’s right. deal w this at home where you two fighting won't impair both of your abilities to focus on your classwork.

 **minho** : because i can SEE chan not taking notes during this VERY IMPORTANT lecture rn

_10:25 AM_

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**hyunjin** : i just had a panic attack but we vibing now

 **hyunjin** : however, i had a panic attack in front of jeongin and uh. wild

_10:07 AM_

**hyunjin** : he helped me thru it but its still fucking MORTIFYING

 **hyunjin** : and like?? apparently ppl are licherally terrified of him so

 **hyunjin** : wild x2

_10:10 AM_

**hyunjin** : never seen someone have such a visceral reaction of fear like tht

_10:11 AM_

**lucas** : waking me up before my fucking alarm u are begging for a death wish

 **lucas** : is he part of a gang wtf

_10:17 AM_

**hyunjin** : IDK

 **hyunjin** : he said its cause of his brother but i dont really believe tht?

 **hyunjin** : like it just seems... off. idk.

 **hyunjin** : im not gonna force him to tell me or anything but it was really weird yknow

_10:21 AM_

**lucas** : valid i support u respecting his privacy

 **lucas** : you dont think youre in danger or anything right

 **lucas** : i havent met the dude so my protective bff senses r tingling

_10:23 AM_

**hyunjin** : nah i dont think he'd ever actively do anything to hurt me? or anyone really which contradicts my previous statements but

 **lucas** : hm.

 **lucas** : i wanna talk to him some time. he needs to be approved.

_10:25 AM_

**hyunjin** : no you'll scare him away

 **lucas** : Maybe Thats A Good Thing

_10:29 AM_

**hyunjin** : if he was an irredeemable person he wouldn't have talked me down from a panic attack AND sat with me after to make sure i was completely calmed down

 **hyunjin** : he has done nothing but treat me like a PERSON which news flash! nobody does.

_10:32 AM_

**lucas** : i get tht but just

 **lucas** : be careful, okay??

 **lucas** : i love you bro im just trying to look out for you

 **hyunjin** : i love you too

 **hyunjin** : i promise if he changes ill ditch him

_10:40 AM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI sorry fr not updating on wednesday but it was christmas so !!! i decided to update today instead, and ill be doing the same for the next update as well since next wednesday is gonna be new years. after tht, its back to regular wednesday updates !!!!  
> also -- this is a social media au on twt so when images are attached, i actually have Real Images in mind if tht makes sense ?? so i was wondering if u guys would want the links or not when i add them like how i did this time... its up to u guys !!!!  
> anyways, i hope u guys had a great christmas !!! and lmk wht u thought of this update ~


	12. library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin can read ! :)

_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**jeongin** : hey wanna hear the most embarrassing thing i have ever done in my entire fucking life

 **felix** : YES

 **seungmin** : of course who do you think we are

_11:39 AM_

**jeongin** : ok so u know how i sometimes blank out when i see certain colors cause i’m fucking. figuring out how to recreate it w actual paints in my head

_11:40 AM_

**felix** : unfortunately yes

 **seungmin** : yeah uve made me pull over in the middle of rush hour just to stare at a weed on the side of the highway so u could do just tht

_11:43 AM_

**jeongin** : so.

 **jeongin** : i may have 

**jeongin** : made hyunjin blush rly hard and

 **jeongin** : Did The Fucking Thing

_11:48 AM_

**seungmin** : oh my god

 **felix** : you are the dumbest mf i have ever met

_11:49 AM_

**seungmin** : straight up staring at a man after talking him down from a panic attack was not your best nor worst move i must admit

_11:51 AM_

**jeongin** : LISTEN

 **jeongin** : I DIDNT MEAN TO OKAY I JUST FUCKINGJWKXUWODU I DID IT !!!!! AND HE WAS SO CREEPED OUT I CANT BELIEVE I DID THAAAAATTTTTTT

_11:54 AM_

**felix** : hyunjin said hold up y’all r gay for real? i thought we were just playing

 **jeongin** : I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM LIKE THT SHUT UPPPP

 **jeongin** : dont u have a fuckboy to text back

 **felix** : You.

 **felix** : i do but also he’s NOT a fuckboy

_11:55 AM_

**seungmin** : he’s kinda a fuckboy

 **felix** : and you’re kinda a bitch 😡

 **jeongin** : so you admit he’s kinda a fuckboy.

 **felix** : WHERE DID I SAY THAT

 **seungmin** : u didn’t deny it

_12:00 PM_

**felix** : that’s it bff applications r open y’all r dead to me

_12:01 PM_

* * *

**[5 DAYS LATER. SEPTEMBER 27TH.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _   
  


**jeongin** : gm sexies

_7:28 AM_

**jeongin** : chris said he’s taking me to school so u don’t have to pick me up

 **hyunjin** : :( who’s gonna sit in the back w me now

_7:32 AM_

**seungmin** : no one if u don’t get ur ass OUTSIDE on TIME

 **felix** : everyone shut up baby don’t stop just came on i’m vibing

_7:33 AM_

**jeongin** : berry just vommed hold on

_7:35 AM_

**jeongin** : UH

 **jeongin** : HM. NOT IDEAL.

_7:43 AM_

**jeongin** : SHE ATE CHRIS’ FUCKING SD CARD THEN THREW IT UP I CANT BRETAJWJDKWJDI

 **jeongin** : SHES OKAY BUT CHRIS IS N O T

_7:45 AM_

**jeongin** : alright he’s having a breakdown

 **jeongin** : hm.

 **jeongin** : hey seungminnnniiiieeeee

 **jeongin** : my best friend of 10 yrs

 **jeongin** : my other half

 **jeongin** : the 3rd son my mom wishes she had

_7:47 AM_

**seungmin** : yes i’ll come get u

 **jeongin** : thank u ❤️

 **jeongin** : hyunjin make room king ure not sitting alone anymore

 **hyunjin** : thank god

_7:52 AM_

* * *

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

[ _CHAN SENT AN IMAGE_ ](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1212224142000427008?s=21)

**chan** : pls forgive me babygirl 🙏

_8:11 AM_

**jisung** : seeing the notification that u sent a pic w tht caption.... not the greatest start to my morning.

_8:13 AM_

**changbin** : can someone explain why your rat dog needs to forgive you

 **felix** : SHES NOT A RAT

 **jeongin** : god chris you are so dramatic

_8:15 AM_

**jeongin** : berry ate his sd card then immediately threw it back up so now he’s being a weirdo

 **jeongin** : shes perfectly fine it doesn’t even look like it got swallowed. i think she just spit it out once she realized it wasn’t a treat

_8:17 AM_

**minho** : so, on the one day our morning classes both get cancelled, you decide to rain check our impromptu cafe study session to swaddle your dog.

 **chan** : shes my baby puppy i had to

 **chan** : i never said u couldn’t come over and join our cuddle :(

_8:20 AM_

**jisung** : dms exist

 **minho** : i’ll consider it.

 **jisung** : tht dms exist or chan’s offer

 **minho** : yes.

_8:22 AM_

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin** : jeonnggggg

 **seungmin** : where r u

_12:04 PM_

**felix** : hurry UP i bought everyone snowballs from the vending machine

 **hyunjin** : i think he’s in the courtyard rn

_12:07 PM_

**felix** : BOO

 **felix** : btw are u chill walking to the cafeteria by urself or do u need one of us to come collect ur lanky ass

 **hyunjin** : MEAN >:(

 **hyunjin** : i’m okay tho!!! thanks

_12:12 PM_

**jeongin** : sorry i had to take a call

 **jeongin** : i don’t rly feel up to eating in the cafeteria today so i’m gonna go to the library

 **jeongin** : sorry

_12:16 PM_

**felix** : ok meet u in 5

 **seungmin** : cool i didn’t wanna deal w raging teenagers anyways

 **hyunjin** : ,,can i join??

_12:17 PM_

**jeongin** : of course u can

 **jeongin** : i’ll be in the usual spot but one of u has to wait for hyunjin cause i’m too lazy to get up now

_12:19 PM_

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin** : hey can you help me navigate the library after school

 **hyunjin** : it’s so big i feel like i’ll be one of those “he went in and was never seen again” stories jsjcksj

_1:29 PM_

**jeongin** : yeah sure !!!

 **jeongin** : just meet me at the entrance

 **jeongin** : i have to check out some books for chris anyway

_1:32 PM_

**hyunjin** : thank u!!! you’re the best

_1:37 PM_

* * *

Jeongin observed how Hyunjin’s eyes excitedly flitted across the shelves. He looked like a kid in a candy store, bouncing on his heels as he dragged Jeongin from section to section. In the few weeks they’d known each other, this is the most energized he’s ever seen him. He looked so... free. Unchained from his anxieties and floating about without a care. His childlike toothy grin and rosy cheeks lit up the dull library like a lantern in the night. It made Jeongin feel warm, watching him like this. He couldn’t help the upturning of his own lips, soon giving into the smile worming its way on his face.

He froze, however, when he noticed the sudden change in Hyunjin’s demeanor. The pretty grin was now replaced with a look of longing. His gaze lingered on a specific book in... the makeup section? He didn’t even know they had a section like that. He looked so sad, it made Jeongin’s heart ache. He never was fond of things that made his friends sad.

“See something you like, bro?” Jeongin cautiously pried. He jumped when Hyunjin whipped his head around, eyes hard and defenses primed and at the ready. Jeongin saw it then, the truth behind Hyunjin’s meek demeanor. 

He was ashamed. 

“Don’t... Don’t sneak up on me...” He whispered. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip as he shot one last look at the book then let out a sigh. “No, no, there’s nothing,” He said defeatedly, “We should keep looking around...” And with that, he moved onto browsing the next section.

Jeongin, however, stayed behind. He scanned the books for the one that garnered Hyunjin’s attention. Once he found it, he swiftly took it off the shelf and hid it underneath his coat, but not before examining the front of it. It was a book on lip art, it seemed, and not just the beginners kind. He flipped open to a random part and gasped at the intricate designs overtaking the page. Sure, Jeongin was an artist, but using someone else’s body as a canvas was something he’d never done before. Especially something as challenging as using lips. The shape, the texture, the coloring, the size, it was all too difficult to wrap his head around doing such complicated pieces on a canvas like that. He’s not gonna lie though, the challenge and the book intrigued him, but he had another reason for selecting it. He’d have to slip away some time later to check it out properly, but for now he had to catch up to Hyunjin. He couldn’t let him spoil his master plan before he could act on it!

Later, once they were all checked out and exiting the library with armfuls of books, Jeongin sprang into action. He excitedly set his books down on a bench, and slipped his hand underneath his coat to fish out his surprise.

“Hyunjin, come here!” He called, though Hyunjin hadn’t gone far considering he was nose deep in a novel already. He stumbled at the sound of his voice, legs shaking for a second. He obediently returned to his side. Jeongin then brandished the book he’d checked out for him, a wide smile cutting his cheeks. “Tada!”

Hyunjin gaped, eyes anxiously darting from the book to his face. “J-Jeongin, you- you really didn’t- I-“ He sputtered, but still took the book with trembling fingers. Jeongin pretended not to see Hyunjin’s faint smile as he looked at the cover, knowing he’d just end up ruining the moment by teasing him. “Thank you... Thank you so much.”

“It’s nothing, dude! I saw how you looked at it and you looked so... How do I say this...” He pouted, brows scrunched in thought, “Pitiful? But not in, like, a bad way. Like a puppy who can’t reach a plate of food on the coffee table kinda way, yknow?” He explained.

Hyunjin nodded along, “Yeah, yeah, I get it.” He paused, “Can I, uhm, hug you? Sorry, if that’s weird- This just, uh, means a lot to me...“ Jeongin shook his head and cut him off by loosely throwing his arms around his torso. Hyunjin tried his best to reciprocate, as he was still lugging the half dozen books he checked out. He wrapped his free arm around him, pulling him so close to his chest that Jeongin thought he might need to tap out. He opted to ignore the pain of the sharp edges of the books digging into his stomach and the severe decrease in oxygen flow to his lungs.

He fought through the uncomfortable tingling in his skin, the burning of his flesh against the touch of another. He wanted to like this, and a part of him did. Maybe more than he’d like to admit, if he’s honest. But there was still the part of him that urged to push Hyunjin away, to run home and wash away the discomfort with boiling water.

Nonetheless, Jeongin hooked his chin on his shoulder, savoring the moment as best he could. He wished Seungmin was there, merely so he could snap a photo for him admire his progress later on. “Thank you, Innie...”

Jeongin stiffened at the nickname. No one ever called him that before, or at least no one he could remember. It felt weird, but not an off putting weird, just... Foreign.

Jeongin broke away, but not before eagerly flashing Hyunjin another smile. He giggled when Hyunjin returned the expression tenfold. He quite liked smiles on him. “Don’t worry about it! What are friends for?”

“Carrying each other’s books?” Hyunjin supplied as he scooped up Jeongin’s forgotten ones off the bench. He wobbled for a moment at the additional weight in his arms.

Jeongin shook his head fondly, hiding a snicker behind his hand. “With your wimpy noodle arms? Yeah, no.” He still let him attempt it though, because each time he tried to take them Hyunjin only jut out that cute little bottom lip and gave him those adorable doe eyes. Jeongin could never deny a precious look like that, not when the source is a precious boy like Hyunjin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new yrs !!!! i decided to update a little early just cause i was bored,,, plus i was super excited to see how u guys would react to the narrative !!!! i’m honestly sorta worried abt the pacing of it but H  
> anyways.  
> i hope u liked it !!!
> 
> please please leave comments and kudos, etc !!! thank u for reading !!!! lmk wht u think of this so far and i’ll see u next wednesday 💛💛💛


	13. king kkami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin has a DOG ?!?!?

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin** : innie,,, you’re not gonna tell anybody, right??

 **jeongin** : no of course not !!!!!

 **jeongin** : i won’t even tell seungmin and felix

 **jeongin** : they wouldn’t judge u tho

 **jeongin** : none of us would

 **hyunjin** : thank u...

 **hyunjin** : i don’t think i’m ready for tht though

 **hyunjin** : thanks again for the book

 **hyunjin** : i think my heart almost burst when u handed it to me kshdjjw

 **jeongin** : hwhxhwu its chill !!! i’m glad it made u happy ☺️☺️

 **jeongin** : how long have u been doing makeup btw

 **hyunjin** : mmmm a few years maybe??

 **hyunjin** : i’m not good at it but i enjoy at least attempting to do it

 **jeongin** : don’t underestimate urself i’ll kill u >:(

 **jeongin** : the designs in the book look pretty complex.

 **jeongin** : you don’t seem like the type to stray from your comfort zone if you think you’ll do poorly so i know you’re talented just from that

 **hyunjin** : ig,,, thanks

 **hyunjin** : sorry i’m not used to compliments like tht kahcksj 

**jeongin** : its okay !!!!

 **jeongin** : btw felix is super into makeup if u ever wanna talk w him abt it ??

 **jeongin** : he’s rly good too !!!! and he won’t snitch so

 **hyunjin** : thank you!! i’ll keep tht in mind

 **hyunjin** : igtg walk kkami but i’ll text u when i get back if that’s okay?

 **jeongin** : hyunjin we’re friends u don’t have to ask permission if u wanna talk to me

 **jeongin** : wait who’s kkami

 **hyunjin** : my dog!! he’s the loml

 **hyunjin** : he’s being yippy rn though cause i keep texting u instead of putting on his leash hdhskdj

 **jeongin** : U HAVE A DOG ????

 **jeongin** : PLEASE WALK HIM IM SO SORRY KING KKAMI

 **jeongin** : SEND PICS WHEN U COME BACK >:(

 **hyunjin** : okay!!!! i’ll brb

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin** : IM BACK

 **hyunjin** : kkami didn’t wanna walk anymore so he made me carry him home

 **hyunjin** : he sat smack in the middle of the road when a car was coming so that was

 **hyunjin** : an experience

 **jeongin** : i love him sm tell him i love him right NOW

 **hyunjin** : okay!!!

 **hyunjin** : he groaned at me when i told him idk what tht means

 **jeongin** : it’s ok one day he’ll accept my love 😔✊

 **jeongin** : kkami isn’t big right

 **jeongin** : considering u can carry him w ur weak baby arms

 **hyunjin** : STOP CALLING ME WIMPY NOT EVERYONE IS THE HULK INCARNATE

 **hyunjin** : but yeah he’s just a little boy

 **jeongin** : ik i sound like a white middle aged mother of 3 but can we PLEASE have a doggy play date

 **jeongin** : berry never has any other dogs to play w cause she’s a rowdy baby and all our neighbors dogs can squish her

 **hyunjin** : not to also sound like a white pta mom of 2 but YES

 **hyunjin** : kkami needs new playmates,,, he’s been so lonely since we moved

 **jeongin** : i’m free this weekend if u wanna bring him over then ???

 **jeongin** : we can chill while they play together but i can’t promise i won’t be fawning all over kkami the whole time

 **hyunjin** : choosing kkami over me already and u haven’t even met him yet

 **jeongin** : thts just how it is sometimes

 **jeongin** : for real tho i’m excited !!! to hang w u and to watch our babies have fun

 **jeongin** : UGH chris is calling for dinner i’ll text u later

 **hyunjin** : okay!!

* * *

**[NEXT MORNING. SEPTEMBER 28TH.]**   
  


_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**jeongin** : how do i tell god to stop letting me make impulse decisions that lead to my imminent demise and/or untimely death

 **jeongin** : i just convinced hyunjin to go to bed after keeping him up till THREE AM by texting him

 **jeongin** : i am a mess of a man

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and lucas** _

**lucas** : STOP TEXTING JEONGIN AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME

 **lucas** : YANGYANG WANTS TO FACETIME AND I LOOK LIKE SHIT HELP ME

 **hyunjin** : I LEFT FOR 2 MINUTES TO TELL JEONGIN GN AND NOW YOURE HAVING A BREAKDOWN???

 **hyunjin** : just keep your lights out and tell him you’re too lazy to turn them back on

 **hyunjin** : but

 **hyunjin** : you are THE hottest bitch i know and i promise u if he’s still the same guy i remember he will not care how u look

 **hyunjin** : even if u are undeniably sexy

 **lucas** : bro :(

 **lucas** : he’s still the same bratty cute boy he was last year when u were here

 **lucas** : he calls me baby and plays w my hair

 **lucas** : and when he compliments me his voice gets all whispery and shy?? and his face turns bright red like KFHKADU IM GAY? 

**hyunjin** : yangyang has been APPROVED now get that boy and kiss him you moron

 **hyunjin** : and answer his facetime

 **lucas** : I WILL!!!!!!

 **lucas** : what would i do without u </3

 **hyunjin** : die alone and yangyangless

 **lucas** : ok fair

 **lucas** : also go to bed it’s like 3 am

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix** : good morning sirs

 **jeongin** : i want death

 **hyunjin** : someone make me cereal i wanna die

 **seungmin** : glad to know 1/2 of this gc is suicidal as always

 **felix** : 3/4 u forgot me

 **seungmin** : DO I NEED TO CONTACT YOUR PARENTS

 **jeongin** : i’m just tired i got like no sleep

 **hyunjin** : same

 **felix** : I Wonder Why

 **jeongin** : kys

 **felix** : kill me urself coward

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**jeongin** : gm im sleepy

 **hyunjin** : gm i am also sleepy

 **jeongin** : come nap w me in the back of seungmins car king <3

 **hyunjin** : lix is too loud he’s already blaring rv’s attaboy

 **jeongin** : god his taste.... impeccable

 **jeongin** : also i’ve been his friend for years i can sleep thru his murder if i feel like it

 **hyunjin** : that is terrifying thank you

 **hyunjin** : we’re pulling up rn

 **jeongin** : ok see ya in a sec

* * *

**_ group chat: pussy aerodynamics _ **

**jeongin** : hey can you guys cover for me

 **jeongin** : i have to take a call

 **seungmin** : again??

 **seungmin** : who in the hell is calling u rn its barely 9 am

 **jeongin** : tell u later

 **hyunjin** : what do u want me to tell ms o’shell

 **felix** : i’ll handle it hyunjin dw

 **felix** : the hag is still sick right

 **jeongin** : yep

 **felix** : tight my plan is in motion

 **felix** : it better be important cause if i get detention over chan calling u complaining abt a hangover i’m gonna shave both ur heads

 **jeongin** : thanks

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin** : is everything okay

 **jeongin** : yeah

 **jeongin** : sorry for worrying you

 **hyunjin** : innie,,,

 **hyunjin** : i’m sorry if i’m prying or crossing a line but u don’t sound okay

 **hyunjin** : u don’t have to tell me why,, just don’t hide it if you’re upset

 **hyunjin** : friends don’t do that, right??? we tell each other when we’re sad

 **jeongin** : ahhhh hyunjin >:(

 **jeongin** : i’m

 **jeongin** : i don’t know

 **jeongin** : i’m not sad i’m just ?? unhappy ig ???

 **jeongin** : gloomy ???

 **jeongin** : idk everything is rly. muddled in my head rn

 **jeongin** : UGH everything is just such a hassle

 **jeongin** : i have to get to class so i’ll see u at lunch

 **hyunjin** : jeongieee :(

 **hyunjin** : i’m gonna give u a big hug when i see you

 **hyunjin** : i’ll give one to felix too if he shares his snowballs w me to split w u

 **jeongin** : wht abt seungmin ? he doesn’t get the hyunjin hwang hug of approval ??

 **hyunjin** : he kinda scares me but i’ll give him one rn

 **hyunjin** : now get to class before chan has ur head again!!!!

 **jeongin** : hey hyunjin ?

 **jeongin** : you’re a rly sweet boy yknow tht ?

 **jeongin** : i rly gotta get to class now but thank you for listening to me and making me feel better

 **jeongin** : you’re the best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jenna marbles voice* new updates every wednesday/thursday  
> i hope y’all enjoyed this !!!! lmk wht u think in the comments (i love hearing ur speculations)  
> also i ditched the time stamps cause fuck me did i hate doing tht. anyways i’ll see u next update and i hope u all had a happy new yr !!!!!


	14. permission granted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peaches and puppies

**[SEPTEMBER 29TH.]**

**_ group chat: pussy aerodynamics _ **

**seungmin** : SOMEONE GIVE ME PERMISSION TO KICK CHAN'S ASS IM BEGGING YOU GIVE ME A FUCKING PARDON JUST THIS ONCE

 **felix** : YOU'RE RICH JUST BUY OFF THE COPS AND LET ME JOIN!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK CHAN LIVES FUCK CHAN LIVES FUCK CHAN LIVES

 **jeongin** : stop it

 **felix** : jeongin he just yelled at you in front of the entire cafeteria instead of, yknow, pulling you aside and talking to you like a civilized adult

 **hyunjin** : whats going on??

 **jeongin** : dont worry about it

 **jeongin** : sure he overreacted but he was just

 **jeongin** : idk

 **jeongin** : he's overprotective

 **felix** : so are we so let us fight him

 **felix** : for real he shouldnt have embarrassed you like that. he literally humiliated you.

 **felix** : and for what?? cause he's "overprotective"???? whatever he yelled at you for cant be bad enough that he has to scold you like a toddler

 **jeongin** : i dont wanna talk about this anymore.

* * *

**_ private chat: hyunjin and jeongin _ **

**jeongin** : hyunjin

 **hyunjin** : yeah??

 **jeongin** : can u uhm

 **jeongin** : talk to me ???

 **jeongin** : god this is so weird im sorry

 **jeongin** : i just need a distraction rn and seungmin and felix keep going off in my dms

 **jeongin** : i cant handle it

 **jeongin** : im sorry ik we're in class and all but i cant focus and everything is too much

 **hyunjin** : its okay of course ill talk to u :(

 **hyunjin** : can i just?? say whatever???

 **jeongin** : yes

 **jeongin** : just talk. please just say anything idc

 **hyunjin** : hhhgghg okay lmk when you need me to stop

 **hyunjin** : kkami woke me up at 3 am cause he wanted to go for a walk

 **hyunjin** : he has a ton of energy

 **hyunjin** : and he's rly yippy and talkative

 **hyunjin** : he's always making some kinda Noises

 **hyunjin** : i think you'd get along well

 **hyunjin** : once he scared the shit out of me cause he made this loud ass whine in his sleep and i was like God?

 **hyunjin** : also ive been thinking abt this for a bit,, ik we agreed on the play date but i wanna show u smth special too

 **hyunjin** : its like my life's work even though i've only had it for like? barely a month?

 **hyunjin** : its probably gonna be lame to you but still

 **jeongin** : i doubt that

 **jeongin** : if its special to you then its extra special to me

 **hyunjin** : then you're gonna love it i hope??

 **hyunjin** : my parents and lucas think im a little nuts over it kshfsj

 **hyunjin** : but its helped me get used to being here

 **hyunjin** : and cope with things

 **jeongin** : owo who's lucas ???

 **jeongin** : also now i rly wanna see it :(

 **jeongin** : i dont wanna wait till fridaayyyyy

 **hyunjin** : lucas is a bitch and i love him v much,, he's my best friend in the whole world??

 **hyunjin** : also lowkey like,, my only friend outside of you, seungmin, and felix. he lives back in cali tho :(

 **hyunjin** : i lived there for awhile before we moved back to korea then to Here

 **hyunjin** : and u could come over tonight?

 **hyunjin** : if ure free

 **hyunjin** : its fine if not ik its short notice sidfkuhsj

 **jeongin** : oh hell yeah

 **jeongin** : we can have seungmin drop us off after school

 **jeongin** : also lucas sounds so nice :( im rly glad u have someone outside of us cause we r a Lot

 **hyunjin** : he's the worst but its nice to have someone who is actually taller than me to talk to

 **jeongin** : MOTHERFUCKER YOURE NOT EVEN THAT TALL

 **hyunjin** : which makes u guys Extra Tinee

 **jeongin** : die.

 **hyunjin** : also are u sure u wanna go today??

 **jeongin** : i thought u wanted me to see it :(

 **hyunjin** : I DO

 **hyunjin** : i just thought u might want like,, space ig cause of wht happened

 **jeongin** : oh

 **jeongin** : its okay hyunjin

 **jeongin** : if u want we can just do it another time

 **hyunjin** : no no dude i want to do it today

 **hyunjin** : im just worried abt u

 **jeongin** : promise ??

 **jeongin** : there's rly no need to be worried. im fine

 **hyunjin** : promise!! and pls come to me if u need anything

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and lucas** _

**hyunjin** : jeongin knows u exist now are u happy

 **lucas** : does he know im sexy

 **hyunjin** : no and he never will

 **lucas** : really gonna make me take that L huh

 **hyunjin** : he's coming over to see my tree im Excited

 **lucas** : you

 **lucas** : you are taking a boy

 **hyunjin** : dont

 **lucas** : you are taking a VERY CUTE boy to your home.

 **hyunjin** : lucas istg

 **lucas** : to see the fucking tree in your yard.

 **lucas** : sometimes. sometimes i wish you understood how stupid you are.

 **hyunjin** : DONT BE MEAN TO ME

 **hyunjin** : yangyang last came over to your place so you could fix his screwed phone screen for 15 dollars. and all you did was tell him it was on the house when you are literally broke.

 **lucas** : we are not here to discuss my downfalls we're here to discuss yours

* * *

**[TIME: 4:47 PM.]**

“Hyunjin... You grow all your peaches?” Jeongin was shocked, to say the least. Out of the infinite number of things he could have been so ecstatic to show him, it was a peach tree? In his yard? Not that he wasn’t happy about it, but he really wasn’t expecting Hyunjin to attempt to rip his arm clean off for it.

“Yes!” He squeaked, happily bouncing up and down beside it. The tree was barely taller than him, but was bearing an enormous amount of fruit for its size. Not a single one of the peaches had a blemish on it’s soft skin and it seemed the tree itself was in a similar state. Even the bright green leaves were free from little chomp marks of hungry caterpillars.

“Its nice, you seem to take care of it well,” He praised, noting how Hyunjin beamed at him for the compliment. He looked ethereal like that, a bright smile with the setting sun accenting all his pretty features. He wanted to see him smile like that more. “It looks very healthy, thanks to you.”

“Thank you! I take a lot of pride in my tree!” He gushed, words funneling from his lips faster than he could properly think of them, “I make sure all the bugs leave it alone and I always give it the very best fertilizer! I won’t even let Kkami go near it cause he tries to bite at the trunk! And I even track when the peaches should be ripe so they don’t rot and damage the tree!” He suddenly clamped his mouth shut, flushing a deep red when he noticed his own rambling. He shyly covered his mouth as he slunk behind the tree in an effort to conceal his embarrassment. “Sorry, I just-“

Jeongin shook his head, further approaching the tree. He sunk to his knees, not minding the dirt that he knew would seep into and stain his jeans. He laid a hand on the thin trunk and spread his palm out, wiggling his fingers against the rough bark. He smiled to himself as he saw Hyunjin slowly do the same. “I think your tree is very pleased that you do all that for it. You shouldn’t be sorry for sharing that.”

He heard Hyunjin gulp across from him, but he was more focused on how gently he stroked one of the lower branches with his fingertips. You could see how much he treasured his tree, and he knew his words probably meant the world to him. “You really mean that? That it appreciates all I do for it?” He asked quietly.

Jeongin pointed to the vast number of plump peaches dangling above their heads. “You think it’d give you this many gifts if it didn’t?” He quipped, but he soon caught how uncertain Hyunjin was. His broad shoulders were slumped, deflated like a week old balloon. He had that forlorn and lonely pout on his plump and pretty lips that always yanked on Jeongin’s heart strings. His voice softened as he continued, a tender hand reaching out to rest comfortingly on his knee. “I mean it, Hyunjin. I promise.”

Hyunjin’s lips curled into a sheepish grin. “Thank you-“

He was cut off by loud yips resonating from within the house. He sighed, shaking his head before rising from the grass and brushing away all the pollen from his pants. He jogged to the back door, muttering a “I’m here, I’m here!” as he threw the french door open. A small dog darted from the house, bounding forward at an alarming speed towards Jeongin.

“Ah~ Is this the Kkami I’ve heard so much about?” Jeongin asked, smiling softly as Kkami sniffed at his clothes cautiously. “Your owner talks very highly of you, young man, you should at least greet him.” He lightly discouraged the dog. He giggled when Hyunjin called him and Kkami perked his ears up, forgetting all about Jeongin as he ran back to his owner.

“He’s not used to new people,” He explained, bending down to lift Kkami into his arms and cradle him like an infant. Kkami immediately shot his tongue out to lick Hyunjin’s cheeks, tail thwapping a mile a minute. “He’s a fun dog though, just...”

“Shy?” Jeongin supplied. He stamped down the urge to coo when Hyunjin’s bubbly giggle fell past his lips.

Hyunjin thought for a moment, then shook his head. “No, he’s definitely not shy... Suspicious, I guess? Ah, I don’t know the word… He doesn’t warm up to people easily.” He gave him a pat on the head, smiling warmly as Kkami lapped happily at his knuckles.

“He loves you quite a bit.” Jeongin stood from his place in the grass, slowly approaching the two as to not startle Kkami from his love fest. He held a hand out in front of Kkami, just close enough for him to sniff if he so desired. And he did, his moist nose tickling Jeongin’s fingertips. He hesitantly stuck his tongue out to give his hand a lick. 

Hyunjin quietly gasped at that, scratching Kkami behind the ears in approval. “Good baby!” He praised, a cheek splitting smile on his lips. “I’m so proud of you, Kkami!”

Jeongin chuckled, retracting his hand once Kkami refocused his attention in Hyunjin. “I think I smell too much like you. He probably feels more comfortable around me cause of it.”

Hyunjin hummed in acknowledgement, but didn’t seem convinced in the slightest. “Or... He thinks you’re a good person.” He paused to meet Jeongin’s eyes, a rare flare of confidence bursting within his irises as he stared him down, “Dogs are fantastic judges of character, don’t you think?”

Jeongin guffawed, taken aback by the flicker of challenge in Hyunjin’s tone. It was like he was asking him if Kkami was wrong about him- No, he was asking if _he_ was wrong about him. Pleading with him to show his true colors before he swam too far past the safety of the shoreline.

Jeongin cleared his throat awkwardly. “I do...” He croaked. He then shifted on his feet to sidle up to Hyunjin, their shoulders barely brushing against one another. He noticed how Hyunjin bristled at the contact, his show of confidence long gone. “You do too, right?”

Hyunjin jerked his head up and down in a stiff nod that made his charcoal colored hair bounce with life. He squeezed Kkami closer to his chest, earning a high pitched whine as he tried to wiggle free of the death grip. Jeongin could see in the tense furrow of his brow that he was frantically building up his defenses. He was quickly closing himself off to him and Jeongin absolutely did not like that. “I do, but sometimes they’re wrong.”

“Maybe so, but that’s where we come in. We have to trust ourselves to make those sort of judgement calls.” He paused, teasingly bumping his shoulder into Hyunjin’s to rattle those walls. A cheeky grin found its way on his face when he saw him jolt a little before returning the gesture. “Yknow, if I trusted Berry to make all my friend choices for me, I think I’d be friends with, like, every deli owner in town.”

Hyunjin huffed out a laugh, “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am!”

* * *

_**group chat: god's mistake** _

**jeongin** : hi am at hyunjin's rn

 **jeongin** : we're supposed to be napping but i cant fall asleep :( sleepy bitch disease cured at the worst time

 **jeongin** : i'm BORED

 **jeongin** : wait i brought my sketchbook nvm

 **jeongin** : me: just casually draws his dog

 **jeongin** : neither of u are paying attention to me what is this jeonginphobia

 **jeongin** : ik youre mad i defended chris but srsly

 **jeongin** : whtever ig

* * *

Hyunjin’s chest rose and fell in time with the quiet sounds of Jeongin’s pencil scratching at the paper. Like the ebb and flow of the tides paired with the faint sounds of gulls calling above, it soothed Jeongin’s racing mind. He couldn’t help himself from stealing glances at him as he rested. His lips curled in a content smile as Hyunjin burrowed himself inside his comforter, seeking shelter from the unforgiving blow of the fan across the room.

Jeongin found himself distracted from the subject of his piece, but he didn’t mind. He liked to take in the features of those he cared for. He liked to stare at them so long he’d be able to doodle them in his sleep. From the pale splay of freckles decorating Felix’s cheeks, to Seungmin’s moles that he complained about endlessly, to the strong jaw and earthy smile of his brother Chris. He liked to memorize it all.

Right now, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Hyunjin’s closed eyes. Hyunjin always bore inky shadows beneath them. Like no matter how desperately he clawed at the thin prospects of sleep it still slipped past his nimble fingers. It worried Jeongin, but he didn’t mind tacking it onto the ceaseless pile of his stresses. It was what he always did, concerning himself with things and people that he shouldn’t was his specialty.

Hyunjin wasn’t like that, though. he was sure of it.

As he took in the sight before him, he noticed the small beauty mark hidden by the coloring of his dark circles. He had to stop himself from reaching out to touch it, to swipe the pads of his fingers across it to make sure it wasn’t a trick of the eye. Instead, because Jeongin has never thought about a single decision in his life, he jabbed at the mark with the nub of his eraser. He didn’t think much of it till Hyunjin began to stir and swatted at nothing in particular in front of his face. He unceremoniously flopped onto his side, front facing Jeongin, and causing the mattress to bounce just enough to disrupt Kkami from his slumber.

Jeongin sighed as Kkami stretched his little limbs before bounding off the bed and pattering out of the room. At least he got most of the sketch done, just a few more areas to shade and he’d call it, well, good enough.

“Innie?” Hyunjin’s hoarse, post nap voice croaked it’s way to Jeongin’s ears. He shifted so his head rested against Jeongin’s forearm. Misty, sleep muddled eyes stared curiously down at the sketchbook. “What are you drawing?”

Jeongin tilted the sketchbook to show his work. His heart leapt to his throat, his previously well hidden anxiety gushing from his core to the surface. He’d always been self conscious of his pieces, no matter how many times his loved ones reassured him of his skill. Deep down, there was a persistent little voice reminding him that they could be lying to save face. They could be telling him what he wants to hear, too scared of the outcome if they were to tell the truth. Sort of like those pitiful contestants on American Idol who were built up by their peers, only for the judges to tear down every semblance of their confident ego.

“Jeongie, this is amazing!” Hyunjin squealed, hand shooting out from underneath the comforter to grip the side of the sketchbook. All remnants of slumber vanished, instead replaced by a toothy grin. “It’s Kkami, right? He’s so detailed! How did you do this so quickly? You’re, like, magic!”

Jeongin flushed, suddenly the wind from the fan wasn’t enough to cool his skin. “It’s- it’s nothing. Thank you, though.”

“Don’t undersell yourself! You told me not to do that, so you can’t either!”

Jeongin sighed, “I did say that, huh... I’ll try not to.”

Hyunjin beamed up at him, his plush cheek smushed adorably into Jeongin’s sleeve. “We’ll show Kkami this later, yeah? I bet he’s gonna love it!”

He chuckled, a fond smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Yeah... Yeah, I’d like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen its wednesday somewhere ok dont worry abt it  
> ANYWAYS  
> i just wanna say how much i appreciate u guys ?? as readers ????? esp those of u who comment, even if u just commented once. as some of u may or may not know, i have a social media version of this au and its sorta popular ??? on twt ??? but i dont get much feedback at all there. like ill get Some every once in a while, but even if i ask, i rarely get anything. i rely mostly on you guys for your input and for the motivation to actually continue both versions of this and you all are just so nice and i love u :( thank you so much for reading and thank you x2 to anyone who took the time to comment or leave kudos on this au.  
> ahhhh enuf of Emo Time  
> i hope u guys enjoyed this update ft kkami and sleepy hyunjin !!!!! wht did you guys think of chan being a Bastard ??? do u have any ideas why ??? and how did u all like the narratives ??? i was rly excited for the second part cause hyunjin Baby  
> ill see u all next week !!!!! ilu !!!!!!!!!  
> ps i hope y’all know we are not even CLOSE to done this fic like.... we r barely 1/5 of the way in..... i am so Sorry


	15. peach prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so y’all just flirting on the tl rn

[[USER JEONGBANG POSTED ONE IMAGE]](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1220515066069635072?s=21)

liked by leeknow, j.one, and 56 others...

jeongbang: isn’t he pretty when he laughs ? ✨

leeknow replied: LIP RING BOY SOFT HOURS

spearb replied: hyunjin pretty hyunjin gorgeous hyunjin beautiful hyunjin magnificent

[[USER JEONGBANG POSTED TWO IMAGES]](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1220515016677515265?s=21)

liked by ksm2000, leeknow, and 49 others...

jeongbang: peach prince 🍑

hwangsjin replied: you will regret the day you crossed me, mr. bang.

[[HWANGSJIN POSTED AN IMAGE]](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1220515550608183296?s=21)   
  


liked by yukheiii, jeongbang, and 6 others...

hwangsjin: sunshine ☀️

yukheiii replied: IS THIS HIM

yukheiii replied: HYUNJIN IS THIS THE MAN

[[HWANGSJIN POSTED TWO IMAGES]](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1220515350044987392?s=21)

liked by yukheii, xelif, and 9 others...

hwangsjin: jeong has the brightest smile

* * *

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

**felix** : so y’all just flirting on the tl rn

 **jeongin** : so y’all just ignore me then accuse me of flirting in the big gc rn

 **jisung** : what goes on

 **jisung** : onto more important matters, jeong and hyunjin r hot

 **minho** : ^

 **changbin** : ^^

 **jeongin** : thank u ik i fuck

 **jisung** : statement retracted

 **felix** : ^

 **changbin** : ^^

 **minho** : pussies

 **minho** : jeong fucks and that’s a fact! i accept NO criticism!

 **jeongin** : THANK YOU

 **chan** : jeongin please check your messages

* * *

_**private chat: chan and jeongin** _

**chan** : where are you

 **chan** : please answer me i’m worried

 **chan** : i’m sorry for blowing up on you in the caf. i shouldn’t have done that, but you know why i did it, right?

 **chan** : jeongin answer me

 **chan** : please just tell me when you’ll be home

 **jeongin** : idk

 **jeongin** : i’m prolly gonna head home soon

 **chan** : can we talk when you get back?

 **jeongin** : i guess

 **chan** : okay

 **chan** : i love you

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**lucas** : LET ME DM HIM

 **lucas** : I SWEAR ON A STACK OF BIBLES I WONT EMBARRASS U

 **lucas** : oh shit his friends are cute

 **lucas** : twt user xelif i will block yangyang for 24 hrs for just a minute of your time

 **hyunjin** : absolutely not

 **hyunjin** : and DO NOT dm jeongin ill srsly kill u

 **hyunjin** : semi related he drew kkami for me earlier and my heart bro... bro it skipped a beat... bro i’m having heart palpitations... bro i think i’m dying bro...

 **lucas** : me when i saw minghao svt for the first time

 **hyunjin** : relatable but shut up

 **lucas** : can i follow him or will that result in the death penalty too

 **hyunjin** : no u can do tht just don’t be weird

 **lucas** : wym

[[JEONGBANG POSTED TWO IMAGES]](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1220514930794864646?s=21)

liked by bangchan, yukheiii, and 47 others...

jeongbang: thank u hyunjin for walking me home u dumbo

yukeiii replied: i will personally pay for an uber to take you home every day if you never post another pic of hyunjin’s uglee face this close up

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**hyunjin** : WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY

* * *

**_private chat: jeongin and hyunjin_ **

_[JEONGIN SENT A SCREENSHOT]_

**jeongin** : is this ur friend cause if not i’m *insert silence crab meme*

 **hyunjin** : u could just dl the meme

 **jeongin** : i could but wheres the fun ? the excitement ? the spontaneity ?

 **jeongin** : also answer me bastard

 **hyunjin** : yeah that’s lucas

 **hyunjin** : i told him not to be weird and he did That

 **jeongin** : hell yeah okay

 **jeongin** : he’s cute wtf

 **hyunjin** : oh word?

 **jeongin** : what can a man not tell another man that he’s cute ? that his hair looks soft ? that his lips look nice ?

* * *

**_private chat: lucas and hyunjin_ **

**hyunjin** : jeongin says ure cute

 **lucas** : tell him to tell the blonde guy he’s friends with that my dms r open

 **hyunjin** : never

 **lucas** : lame

* * *

_**private chat: seungmin and jeongin** _

**seungmin** : hey

 **jeongin** : hi

 **seungmin** : how are you

 **jeongin** : idk man how do u think i am after my two best friends ignored me all afternoon

 **seungmin** : i’m sorry that was a dick move but we needed time to chill out

 **seungmin** : look, we‘re just concerned, okay? we know you’ve been hiding things from us lately. its frustrating cause we try and try to reach out and make ourselves available for you to tell us what’s wrong and it hurts. it hurts that you don’t act like you trust us

 **seungmin** : and i know that you do but when you shut us out and close yourself off from us it feels like you don’t 

**seungmin** : you’re always trying to play the hero and protect everyone and keep people from worrying about you but we’re already worried! this is just making it worse, don’t you get it?

 **jeongin** : i’m sorry

 **jeongin** : you know how hard it is for me to open up. fuck man we’ve known each other for like 10 years and i still feel like i burden you with all my problems but i know you’d tell me if that was true and hsgwjdyi 

**jeongin** : she’s been calling me

 **jeongin** : her sentence is almost up

 **jeongin** : i told chris cause i didn’t know what to do and he just

 **jeongin** : he blew up on me

 **jeongin** : we talked when i got home and he apologized and he promised me he wouldn’t tell mom and dad

 **jeongin** : but he told me to stop accepting the calls

 **jeongin** : but i cant. i really can’t minnie

 **jeongin** : fuck i don’t know what to do

 **jeongin** : i’m sorry

 **seungmin** : jeongie, it’s okay.

 **seungmin** : are you sure you shouldn’t tell your parents? at least your mom?

 **jeongin** : no she’ll be all stressed about it and i don’t wanna bother her anymore

 **jeongin** : i think i’m just gonna go to bed

 **jeongin** : i’m sorry

 **seungmin** : don’t apologize 😡😡

 **seungmin** : lmk if you need anything, okay? ilu

 **jeongin** : ilu2

* * *

_**private chat: felix and jeongin** _

**felix** : jeongie :((((((

 **felix** : i’m sorry for being mean

 **felix** : seungmin said u went to bed but we all know u don’t go to sleep till 2 am so pls respond

 **felix** : pls don’t be mad at me ily

 **felix** : we’re bffs u can’t ghost me

 **felix** : even tho i did technically ghost u first and that was MEAN of me so if u are ignoring me i understand but hgh

 **felix** : pls bro we’re supposed to be soulmates bro.... bromates....

 **jeongin** : hi

 **felix** : JEONGIE!!!!!!!

 **felix** : i’m sorry for everything i said abt chan. i crossed a line

 **felix** : i love you a lot and i just want to make sure you’re being treated RIGHT

 **jeongin** : i know i get it

 **jeongin** : it’s just rly tough for me rn

 **jeongin** : seungmin can fill u in cause after i told him i felt super drained and idk if i can go thru the explanation again

 **felix** : :((( jj

 **felix** : i’m here for u and i love you so so much, yeah??

 **felix** : want me to come over? i’ll cuddle u till u get all giggly n shy and shove me very violently off ur bed and i’ll only complain a lil bit

 **jeongin** : hgghhhh maybe ??

 **jeongin** : if it’s okay w ur mom since it’s like. 9 pm

 **felix** : bold of u to assume i’m not already half dangling out of my second floor window rn

 **jeongin** : STOP IT YOURE GONNA DIE THEN WHO’S SUPPOSED TO CUDDLE ME WHEN IM SAD

 **felix** : seungmin is a person that we are friends with

 **jeongin** : yeah but he’s not as clingy as u unless i’m crying or smth Really Bad happens

 **jeongin** : + we cant do threeway cuddles if ure dead or GROUNDED

 **felix** : OH FUCK YOURE RIGHT

 **felix** : still omw tho brb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rly am just the trans guy jenna marbles of hyunin authors huh  
> anyways thank u for reading !!!! next chap we will have incheresting things.... also halloween because it’s one day away from oct now in this au....  
> who do u think the “her” is ?? why do u think chris got angy abt it ??? are y’all looking forward to halloween updates ??? cause I Am  
> ALSO do y’all like tht i add the images ??? idk if u do


	16. ok chan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i’ll delete ur ovw acc

**[DATE: OCTOBER 3RD. TIME: 1:34 AM.]**   
  


_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin** : my brain is on broil rn

 **felix** : proud of u?

 **seungmin** : what does tht MEAN

 **jeongin** : Stop Talking

 **felix** : I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING

 **seungmin** : ^ ?????

 **jeongin** : yet.

 **hyunjin** : are u guys okay

 **felix** : yes why

 **hyunjin** : the chat kinda died for like,, 4 days so

 **jeongin** : we were fighting but we’re good now

 **seungmin** : the beef been squashed

 **felix** : don’t talk like that i hate you

 **jeongin** : oh hold up the sexiest man in the world just texted me 🥴🥴

 **felix** : but i’m already texting u?

* * *

_**private chat: johnny and jeongin** _

**johnny** : yo

 **jeongin** : whts up

 **johnny** : if i invite u to my halloween party can u babysit hyuck for me

 **jeongin** : you say tht like u weren’t already gonna invite me

 **jeongin** : also ya

 **johnny** : ofc ure one of my boys 😎✌️

 **johnny** : invite extends 2 seungmin and felix as long as u make sure they don’t drink

 **jeongin** : they’re too pussy to drink after last yr but i’ll let them know

 **jeongin** : can i bring someone else too

 **johnny** : who is it

 **jeongin** : his name is hyunjin !!! he’s sorta in our group now ?? kinda ??? idk yet

 **johnny** : oh is he the emo kid y’all sit w now

 **johnny** : he looks like he’s gonna piss his $200 leather pants every time we make eye contact 😔

 **jeongin** : i promise u those pants r neither leather nor $200

 **johnny** : 😆😆

 **johnny** : squad w me on ovw tonight

 **jeongin** : only if hyuck joins so i can nerf him repeatedly

 **jeongin** : someone has to cure his gemini disease by putting him in his place

 **jeongin** : also wait why am i babysitting him at the party

 **johnny** : i’ll tell u on voice later igtg

 **johnny** : i have a date w doyoung in the morning 😊

 **jeongin** : good luck !!! if u make him pay for anything on ur date i’ll delete ur ovw acc <3

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin** : alright bastards guess who got the invite to johnnys halloween party

 **felix** : ALREADY?????

 **felix** : ITS BARELY THE FIRST WEEK OF OCTOBER

 **seungmin** : and it’s literally 2 am

 **jeongin** : what can i say he luvs me

 **felix** : no.

 **jeongin** : can’t i have anything in this house

 **jeongin** : anyways we’re all going costume shopping next friday also no drinking FELIX johnny already said no

 **felix** : I HAD ONE SHOT LAST YEAR

 **jeongin** : and then u vommed all over his moms carpet

 **felix** : .

 **felix** : maybe so.

 **hyunjin** : may i butt in and ask who johnny is

 **seungmin** : some college dude jeongin wants to **** all the time

 **jeongin** : he’s cool i’ve known him since like 8th grade and he’s friends w chris

 **jeongin** : he said all of us can come but i’m stuck on hyuckie duty so :/

 **seungmin** : ??? wht happened w hyuck

 **felix** : chenle said he’s been emo lately but no one knows why

 **jeongin** : chenle prolly took him out of his grandpas will 😔✊

 **jeongin** : for real tho i’ll find out later and fill u guys in but if u abandon me while i’m babysitting a wasted hyuck i’m gonna spray paint your lockers

 **felix** : i walk in on friday november 1st to “welcome home cheater” spray painted on my locker

 **hyunjin** : i’ll stay with u if u want

 **seungmin** : gun to my head bro if i see u make heart eyes @ johnny one time i’m dipping

 **jeongin** : it’s not my fault he’s hot

 **jeongin** : also thank u hyunjin this is why i hate u the least

 **seungmin** : i promise u there are hotter guys in our school let alone the college your BROTHER goes to

 **jeongin** : name one.

 **felix** : yeosang

 **jeongin** : fuck

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**lucas** : yangyang told me he wanted to wear my jacket today im

 **lucas** : *yangyang voice* are you in the right headspace to receive information that could potentially make you flustered in this packed courtyard?

 **hyunjin** : WELL DID YOU LET HIM????

 **lucas** : YES DO I LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS

 **lucas** : don’t answer that honestly

 **hyunjin** : it’s okay yangyang is morosexual

 **lucas** : he facetimed me earlier and told me he missed me already when we saw each other like 3 hrs prior

 **lucas** : he said he missed how warm i was bitch don’t DO that i’m SENSITIVE

 **hyunjin** : GODDDD

 **hyunjin** : i’m so happy for u dude u and yangyang are such a cute couple 🥺🥺🥺

 **lucas** : i know we’re such a power couple... it’s time for the cishets to be dethroned

 **hyunjin** : unrelated but apparently jeongin is mlm i cannot believe i am this lucky

 **hyunjin** : god really said i’m gonna make all these motherfuckers gay AND hot, as a treat

* * *

**[TIME: 11:57 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin** : I Have Uncovered The Tea

 **seungmin** : the hyuck tea?

 **jeongin** : The Hyuck Tea.

 **jeongin** : or more appropriately, the Mark’s a Bitch Tea

 **felix** : HOLD UP DONT START WITHOUT ME I NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH

 **hyunjin** : who is mark i only know hyuck from art

 **jeongin** : mark graduated last year (with chris and his friends) but he was friends w a bunch of lower classmen cause he was popular

 **jeongin** : and he’d been secretly dating hyuckie since his sophomore year (aka marks junior year)

 **felix** : i’m back spill that shit king

 **jeongin** : finally you take 80 yrs to brush ur fucking teeth

 **jeongin** : ANYWAYS

 **jeongin** : mark was and still is in the closet which is valid and hyuck was fine w keeping their relationship on the dl even tho he himself is out to most of us + his fam

 **jeongin** : However.

 **jeongin** : hyuck found out thru doyoung (who is dating johnny) that mark was talking shit abt him w his old classmates that ended up going to the same college as him and doyoung

 **seungmin** : hyunjins gonna need a graph to map all these connections

 **hyunjin** : it’s ok i got it so far i have my notes app open

 **felix** : KDHAJSJ

 **jeongin** : it turns out that those old classmates are Very Homophobic and hyuck is Very Openly Gay

 **jeongin** : so they mentioned him and started talking shit yknow spewing tht home of phobic rhetoric and mark, being a fucking dumbass, panicked and joined in !!!!!

 **jeongin** : and they said rly. messed up shit

 **jeongin** : and some of it was thru text and hyuck made mark show him his phone cause he didn’t believe doyoung and hm. didn’t go well

 **jeongin** : hyuck was devastated and they broke up. and apparently mark has been trying to contact him since then cause he’s Also heart broken but hyuckie isn’t having any of it (mostly cause renjun keeps deleting marks texts)

 **jeongin** : johnny is friends w mark still cause they’re basically related at this point so obv he invited mark to the party and hyuck is also going cause he is friends w johnny so it is My Job to keep them from fighting or smth and make sure hyuckie is safe (aka not drinking his heart out)

 **hyunjin** : that’s so fucked

 **hyunjin** : i understand being scared to come out and all cause i’m in the closet too but throwing the person you love under the bus to protect your reputation? revolting. that’s low.

 **felix** : he could of just not said anything??? or like blocked them??

 **felix** : fuck mark lives

 **seungmin** : markus lee i am coming for your knees and your snapbacks

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**hyunjin** : just outed myself to the gang in a spur of the moment burst of confidence and anger

 **hyunjin** : i think we’re chill no one acknowledged it

 **hyunjin** : n. nvm

* * *

_**private chat: felix and hyunjin** _

**felix** : hey idk if u wanted this to be a big deal so i’m saying this in dms but thank u for trusting us w ur sexuality?? ik we all met u last month so we’re not besties yet but it means a lot to me Specifically that u felt safe with us to share that about yourself

 **felix** : rant over thx for coming to my tedtalk feel free to leave me moneys

 **hyunjin** : i have no moneys to give but i have Lomve

 **felix** : talking like the funnie cats on twitter i see

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**hyunjin** : thank god felix cannot hold a serious conversation to save his life or i would be dead rn

 **hyunjin** : everyone is too nice i hate this i can’t form Words i just Hug

 **lucas** : Then Hug Them Clown Man

 **hyunjin** : OH FUCK YIURE RIGHT?

* * *

**[DATE: OCTOBER 5TH.]**   
  


_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin** : yknow i used to think i was struggling with internalized homophobia but i think it was just chris was the first gay person i ever met and i just hate him so fucking much

 **seungmin** : he beat u in mario kart didn’t he

 **felix** : did he break your earbuds again

 **hyunjin** : did he breathe

 **jeongin** : no, no, and yes !

 **jeongin** : but that’s going to change :)

 **felix** : WHT DID HE DO FOR REAL

 **jeongin** : minho sent him a snap and chris convulsed so hard he spilled his chili on my playstation controller

 **felix** : xbox gang reigns supreme

 **hyunjin** : imagine being able to afford modern game consoles... this post was made by poor people gang

 **seungmin** : imagine knowing what a “video game” is... this post was made by pre october 1958 gang

 **felix** : hyunjin i’ll let u use my consoles whenever u want

 **felix** : they’re not the best cause i am unfortunately not part of rich boy town but it’s something??

 **seungmin** : i’ll buy everyone the ps5 when it comes out

 **jeongin** : no don’t do that cause doesn’t it automatically determine how skilled u are at vidya games and selects the difficulty it thinks is right for u

 **jeongin** : i don’t need a box of fancy plastic and wires to call me a bitchboy. i have you people for that

 **felix** : bitchboy

 **jeongin** : my point exactly

 **felix** : anyways are we still doing matching costumes this year?

 **seungmin** : idk

 **seungmin** : don’t wanna leave hyunjin out so maybe we shouldn’t 

**hyunjin** : it’s okay!!!! u guys can do whatever you want

 **jeongin** : i think we should just wait till we go to the costume shop and let god figure out the rest

 **jeongin** : but if i see a decent and non transmisogynistic fairy costume... y’all know how it is

 **jeongin** : seungmin don’t say it

 **seungmin** : I DIDNT EVEN START TYPING

 **felix** : hey jin wanna know a fun and very innocent fact about our lovely jeongie

 **jeongin** : felix.

 **jeongin** : choose your next words wisely.

 **jeongin** : for you have forgotten that i hold a copy of your house key.

 **felix** : your threats mean nothing to me. you could destroy every material possession i own and i still would not weep for its loss.

 **felix** : for you, dear friend, have forgotten something too.

 **felix** : the only thing that could stop me is if you take away what cannot be bought nor sold.

 **jeongin** : and what would that be ?

 **felix** : your heart, jeongin.

 **jeongin** : bro...

 **felix** : bro... ❤️

 **hyunjin** : i came here for innie lore not a modern retelling of a homoerotic shakespearean play

 **seungmin** : innie??

 **seungmin** : damn he doesn’t even let me call him that

 **jeongin** : YOUVE NEVER CALLED ME THAT ???

 **seungmin** : and now i never will.

 **jeongin** : fine i only like when hyunjin does it

 **hyunjin** : <3

 **jeongin** : <3 bastard

 **felix** : anyways.

 **felix** : jeongie has a collection of books abt fairies. like full on scholarly level shit not kids books

 **jeongin** : felix i’m changing your name on your birth certificate to Bitch Lee

 **felix** : ok chan

 **jeongin** : JSHXJWJHXJWHXJWHDJD

 **jeongin** : HOW DAR EYOU

 **jeongin** : CALLE ME RHAT

 **jeongin** : I THIOGHT WE WRE FRIENDS

 **felix** : ok chan

 **jeongin** : STOP IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry this wasn’t rly hyunin based but the actual party chapters (in like 2 weeks cause i don’t wanna skip to the end of the month after Just starting this one) r Very Hyunin Based so dw
> 
> anyways next chap hyunjin reacts 2 innie fairy lover...am excited
> 
> how do we feel abt felix and hyunjin becoming closer ? and the markus lee situation ? yangyang and lucas development uwu ? 
> 
> i hope u guys enjoyed ilu 💛💛 lmk wht u think in the comments i would die for u all


	17. revenge party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hate that for me

**[DATE: OCTOBER 13TH]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin** : alright bitches y’all know what day it is

 **seungmin** : costume day babey

 **felix** : wht if i just buy cat ears and a tail and that’s it

 **hyunjin** : minimalism

 **jeongin** : so ure gonna show up to the party looking like a lazy furry

 **felix** : maybe that’s hot!

 **seungmin** : i will kick your teeth in

 **seungmin** : meet me @ the front gates once the bell rings uglies i wanna get there before felix’s mom has an aneurysm cause he’s home past curfew

 **jeongin** : ok

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**hyunjin** : FUCK

 **hyunjin** : TODAY WE’RE GOING HALLOWEEN COSTUME SHOPPING BUT IDK WHAT I WANNA BE

 **hyunjin** : HELP ITS FOR A COLLEGE PARTY WHAT DO I DOOOOOO

 **lucas** : sup its yangyang

 **lucas** : go as someone with their life together, it’ll be a nice change of pace for u

 **lucas** : oshdkwxe ed whduweushwoi

 **lucas** : i’m breaking up w yangyang i’m so sorry he’s like this

 **lucas** : anyway

 **lucas** : go as something hot. even if it’s like a mundane costume u gotta.... how u say..... spice it up....

 **lucas** : wear some fishnets underneath...... dark eyeliner...... tht one tinted lip gloss tht makes the boys (i’m boys) go wild.....

 **hyunjin** : what would i do without u

 **lucas** : not get laid

 **hyunjin** : i’m still not getting laid

 **lucas** : yeah but at least you LOOK like you are

 **hyunjin** : brb the bell just rang

 **lucas** : pick a sexy costume or i’m demoting you as my best friend 💚💚

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin** : FELIX GET OUT HERE

 **jeongin** : one day i’m gonna cut the wire to seungmin’s car horn and i will finally know peace

* * *

_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**jeongin** : google how to tell hyunjin he looks really pretty in anything he wears without it sounding like i’m a freak

 **seungmin** : that’s cute and i’m mad about it

 **felix** : stop being a pussy and tell him he’s a cutie patootie

 **jeongin** : KSHXJWJXJWOXHAJWJDJ HE JUSF CAMW OUT IN AN ANGEL COSTUME BYE

 **felix** : WHERE WHERE WHERE

 **felix** : I WILL TEAR THIS STORE APART TO SEE THIS

 **seungmin** : DRESSING ROOM 4 HURRY UP

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix** : idk how to tell u this lads but hyunjin’s costume looks better on him than all of ours on us combined

 **seungmin** : agreed 

**jeongin** : HHJHGGGHHGH

 **felix** : i love when u and the demon possessing jeongin concur

 **hyunjin** : guyssss :(

 **hyunjin** : mines just a lame angel costume it literally cost less than my lunch

 **hyunjin** : and i think the halo is falling apart

 **seungmin** : and he still makes it work!!! america’s next top model who!!!!!!

 **hyunjin** : STOPPPP :(((((

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and lucas** _

**hyunjin** : tfw felix, jeongin, and seungmin keep complimenting me in the gc

 **lucas** : deserved!

 **lucas** : i’m going as the devil for halloween btw

 **hyunjin** : REALLY

 **hyunjin** : I LITERALLY JUST BOUGHT AN ANGEL COSTUME

 **lucas** : soulmates 💔

 **hyunjin** : matching costumes across the country 💔💔

* * *

**[DATE: OCTOBER 31ST. TIME: 7:34 PM]**   
  


**_ group chat: pussy aerodynamics _ **

**seungmin** : hey ik it’s last minute but anyone wanna crash at my place tonight after the party

 **seungmin** : its a friday so since we don’t have school i thought it’d be fun

 **seungmin** : idk

 **felix** : i’m down just let me tell my mom

 **hyunjin** : sure but i have to leave in the morning to feed kkami or he’ll eat my shoes

 **seungmin** : cool cool just bring a bag w u and i can drive you home when we wake up

 **jeongin** : i already left and am at the party but i’ll just steal ur clothes

 **hyunjin** : ??? i thought the party doesn’t start for another hour????

 **jeongin** : chris and i always come early to help set up

 **jeongin** : usually we leave last too cause we help clean up the massacre but i can get out of it since i’m on hyuck duty

 **jeongin** : brb seonghwa is here and he’s lookin FINE

 **jeongin** : YERI IS HERE !!!!!!!

 **seungmin** : everyone jeongin has ever had a crjdu 

**jeongin** : i killed him before he could finish that sentence

* * *

**_ private chat: hyunjin and jeongin _ **

**hyunjin** : where are u we’re abt to come in

 **jeongin** : !!!!! i’ll meet u guys at the front door

* * *

Jeongin had been having fun, even if he was stuck glued to a wall watching Hyuck mope about the party the whole time. He conversed with nearly every breathing soul that entered the house. He also introduced a few of them to Hyunjin, who stuck by his side just as he promised. They exchanged stupid jokes that made each other giggle till their stomachs hurt.

Despite all this, the bugs had started buzzing in Hyunjin’s ears. He tried ignoring them, tried focusing on whatever Jeongin’s friend — _was his name Renjun?_ — had been angrily whispering about. He tried focusing on the heated movements of his hands as he gestured to whatever the hell he was talking about. He tried focusing on the warmth of Jeongin’s side pressed against his arm, the sloshing of his drink as he sipped it then silently offered it to Hyunjin. He took it, fingers shaking as he downed the whole cup in one swig. It’s not like it was alcohol, he could have as much as he wanted.

Jeongin’s suddenly head fell onto Hyunjin’s shoulder, jerking his attention back into the conversation and away from the creepy crawlers making their way around his skin. He stared down at him, watching intently as he yawned into the palm of his hand. He blinked blearily at Renjun, who snorted at his behavior. 

“You should go home, Jeong. You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

That’s how they ended up here, in the backseat of Seungmin’s car with Jeongin wide awake and Hyunjin still recovering from his almost panic attack. He realized it then that Jeongin had faked it. And part of Hyunjin warmed at that, but part of him froze over like the deepest, darkest depths of hell. The part where the smoke and ash hadn’t christened the ground. Where the temperature was so cold you might as well be in the trenches of hellfire above.

“Thank you.” Hyunjin’s voice, soft yet endearing, penetrated the near silent ambiance of the car. They were still decked out in their costumes, an uncomfortable mix of sweat, makeup, and the stench of alcohol permeating their skin.

“I was getting tired of Junnie complaining about Mark and Hyuckie anyways,” Jeongin dismissed, but Hyunjin knew otherwise. He was the type to lavish in your silliest worries and secrets, your excitement and joy, even your boiling anger that would make anyone else quiver in fear. He’d listen to anything at all for hours on end and he’d enjoy every second of it. “He likes Hyuckie far too much, that boy. I’m afraid he’s gonna trap himself in a rebound.”

Hyunjin hummed in response. He wasn’t privy to most drama, too caught up in his anxieties during Renjun’s rant to pay attention to it. “Do you think Hyuck should go back to Mark then?”

“No, not until he sorts out his issues. He’ll just end up hurting Hyuck again.” Jeongin paused, “I think Jun and Hyuck would make a good couple, though. Its just not the right time, yknow?” He turned his head to face Hyunjin, the cheap, itchy fabric of his fake fairy wings scratching at his cheek and the thin wire of metal creating an indent in the chubby flesh right beside his dimple.

Hyunjin reached out to bend the metal frame of the wing away from Jeongin’s face. Jeongin shot him a grateful smile with those shimmery lips and Hyunjin swore he saw stars in more than just Jeongin’s eyes. “I guess so.”

Jeongin opened his mouth to speak, the first syllable merely just born before it died on his tongue. His phone rang and he sighed, fishing it out of the waistband of his ridiculously tight pants. He grimaced when he read the caller id and simply pressed the volume down button to let it ring in silence.

“Who was that?” Hyunjin asked, minutely gesturing to the device in Jeongin’s hand.

“It was no one. Don’t worry.” But he didn’t smile to lure him into believing it. No, he didn’t even try to move his lips into anything besides the tense line it now molded. That was new, and it was disquieting.

Jeongin often hid things from Hyunjin —that was a fact he grew to accept these past few weeks— but they had made a deal. Jeongin wouldn’t hide when he was upset, only why. However, that would never stop him from decorating his words with easing smiles and gently closed eyes. This time, however, he didn’t. He stared blankly at the smooth leather seats, his nimble fingertips running across the neatly woven threads. It was a vulnerability that he’s sure only a select few have been exposed to.

“Is it that person who calls you during class all the time?”

Jeongin instantly stiffened, a fat knot catching in his throat that he quickly coughs away into the back of his glitter coated hand. He seems to ponder something for the smallest of moments, his mind wandering to something indiscernible to the naked eye.

“Promise me that everything I say from now on stays in this car and only this car.” It was more of an order than a question, but Hyunjin nodded along nonetheless.

Jeongin’s firm expression flickered into one of apprehension. The sheer lip gloss on his bottom lip bitten off and seeping into the light puncture marks his teeth made in the flesh. His hands were fidgeting in his lap, turning his phone around and around, switching from one clammy palm to the other, anything to keep them occupied. Hyunjin couldn’t stand the movement, it spurring his own anxiety. He gingerly laid his hand over Jeongin’s, Hyunjin’s dainty fingers encasing smaller ones and urging them to still. Jeongin didn’t pull away, but he sent him a look of warning that stung just as much. Hyunjin removed his hand, but Jeongin’s stayed in place after that.

“So, the calls...” Jeongin began, a crease of confliction in the center of his forehead. “They’re- they’re from my mom.”

“Your mom?” He’d never heard anything bad about Mrs. Bang, only that she was kind and a tad overbearing when it came to her sons. Overall, she seemed lovely and Felix and Seungmin spoke wonders about her.

Jeongin scowled, “It’s not- It’s not what you think. Chris and I... We’re not really related. Like, we’re brothers, but there’s no blood bond or biology or anything.”

Hyunjin was lost. It’s not that this was a groundbreaking revelation, its just that he didn’t really grasp what he was saying. Were they step siblings? Was he only related to Mr. Bang then? If so, where has he been?

Jeongin seemed to catch on to Hyunjin’s confusion and threw his head back to release a frustrated groan from the swells of his throat. “Fuck, I’m garbage at explanations... Just-“ He dragged his hands down his face in exasperation, smudging the faint traces of makeup still left on his skin. “I'm adopted, okay? Chris is related to our mom and dad. He’s their kid biologically, but I’m not. I have different parents. My biological mother is the one who has been calling me.”

“Oh, I see...” He felt Jeongin’s eyes boring holes into the side of his face. He turned to look at him, met with a guarded look that he truthfully has never seen before. Jeongin hid his feelings well, so well he’d dare say it was his best talent.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“There’s nothing really to say, Innie,” He explained, “But I’m happy you told me. Thank you for trusting me.”

Jeongin scoffed in disbelief. He shook his head, a small laugh tumbling from his lips. “So you’re not surprised?”

“No, I am. You and Chan are a lot alike.”

Jeongin’s face contorted into one of mock disgust and he let out a heinous retching sound. “Don’t say those words to me.”

Hyunjin laughed, “It’s true! You guys, like, have this aura or something about you. Your smiles exude this, uh,” He stopped to think, eyebrows furling in concentration. He promptly ignored Jeongin’s teasing jab at his use of ‘exude’. “Like, calming energy? One that just seemed one of a kind, or something that had to be passed down, I guess? And you two are natural leaders. You dote on people all the time and treat them like they’re special to you even when you don’t know a thing about them.”

“So, basically, I’m just the discount version of Chris?” He joked, “Hate that for me.”

Another car’s headlights flashed across the car as it drove past them. It doused them in a stripe of artificial light that illuminated even the most minuscule details of Jeongin’s delicate face. It reflected off the copious amount of glitter on his skin. The twinkling sparkles sprung to life for only a second, but it made Hyunjin’s vision swim and his heart pound like no other. And maybe, just maybe, he believed for a second that all those tales of fairies held an ounce of truth in them. 

“Y-you’re not, though! There’s a ton of differences between you two that make you your own people. Like how devoted you are to your art. Sometimes I really think those charcoal stains on your hands are never gonna wash off! And, like, your eyes shine so brightly when you’re happy. It’s like I’m looking at the stars when I see it, I swear! And when you look at things you love you hold a fucking galaxy in them. Like when you see Felix nail a killer dance move he’s been dying to get right. Or when Seungmin does that stupid puppy thing and you ruffle his hair.”

Jeongin leaned his head back against the headrest, messy pitch black hair falling into his eyes despite the crude amount of gel he’d painstakingly applied earlier. It curled just above his eyes, leaving a beautiful yet terrifying effect on Hyunjin’s weak heart. Jeongin raised a deft hand to flick the cheap halo headband positioned on Hyunjin’s head. “Hey, Hyunjin,” he drawled, “What did you come as again?”

Hyunjin was decked out head to toe in stark white and a flimsy halo headband. So, understandably, he was pretty affronted by his question. Especially since he was literally there when he bought it. Even offered to cover the cost, too! “I’m an angel... Isn’t it pretty obvious?”

Jeongin shrugged, something unreadable gracing his features. Something that begged to be figured out. “Maybe, but I suppose some may say you came as a pipe dream.”

“Wh-“

“Oh my god, is that Felix?“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi peach tree is almost @ 300 kudos i love u guys sm :( thank u :((((  
> also the title of this chap means nothing i’ve just had revenge party from mean girls broadway edition stuck in my head  
> ANYWAYS ur getting a sexy and cute narrative next week aka the continuation of halloween night  
> also i’m gonna start combining previous chapters so this doesn’t end up w 80 bajillion of them when this ends (we’re like ?? 1/4 of the way thru my plot doc... when i said slow burn i meant Slow Burn)  
> wht did u guys think of jeongin’s secret ? were u expecting it ?  
> ilu and lmk wht u thought of this chapter !!!! esp the narrative cause i messed w it So Much
> 
> EDIT: nvm it deletes the comments so i might just have to deal w it.... y’all better enjoy those 80 chaps


	18. sweet boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof ouch me bonesies

Hyunjin squished himself between the edge of the couch and Jeongin. Felix and Seungmin were on Jeongin’s other side, Felix pressed protectively between his two best friends. Felix was practically melted into Jeongin’s left side, hugging his arm to his chest so tight Hyunjin was worried it would turn blue. Seungmin was splayed across Felix’s crossed legs like a kitten, head resting in his lap as he shielded his eyes from the tv screen.

Once they arrived at Seungmin’s place, they decided to have a horror movie marathon to distract themselves from the nights fiasco. Hyunjin happily agreed to it, ready to paint the town purple to make Felix feel better, but truthfully? He was scared shitless of anything with more than a pg rating. Lucky for him, he wasn’t alone in that. Both Felix and Seungmin would jump at every cheap scare with Hyunjin, whimper pathetically whenever the protagonist was walking into a painfully obvious set up, the whole cowardly nine. Jeongin, however, seemed completely unfazed. He’d stare at the screen with the same bored expression he wore whenever he was in class. Hell, he thinks the only time he startled in the past 3 hours was when Felix accidentally kneed Seungmin in the eye during a death scene.

Hyunjin leaned himself into Jeongin’s space, shoulders flush against the other. He was so close his lips almost touched the shell of his ear. “Innie, how are you not scared?” He whispered.

“Mm?” Jeongin trilled, barely even twisting his head towards him. Instead, his eyes flickered between Hyunjin and the tv to show him he was listening.

“How are you not scared?” He repeated, not daring to chance a peek at the screen as another ear splitting screech flooded the speakers.

Jeongin shrugged, “I’ve seen this, like, a billion times with Chris. I’ve always really loved horror movies. I think I know every word to this series alone...” He trailed off. His cheeks were tinted a pretty primrose color, just barely noticeable from underneath the soft flashes of light from the tv screen. “Sorry, that’s probably super nerdy, huh?” He let out a bashful laugh, gently nudging his shoulder into Hyunjin’s.

Hyunjin couldn’t help the upturning of his lips at his sheepishness. “A little, but don’t worry, I think it’s cute.” He stifled a giggle as Jeongin’s face flushed further. He could feel the spike of heat radiating off him, seeping through their clothes and nestling comfortably against their skin. He relished in the fact he could have this effect on him. Him, the goth nobody who has a stupid passion for makeup and an unhealthy relationship with peach trees, can make the most popular boy in school turn into a puddle of pretty pinks and dusty reds with a single compliment. Sure, he was maybe, sorta, probably, reading into things, but can you blame him for being hopeful? Jeongin’s sweet, and bubbly, and, gosh, have you seen his smile? It’s like a million little fireflies packed in a jar, so bright it almost hurts to look at.

But will Hyunjin do something about it? Ask him out? Take a chance? No. Never. Would rather take on a hive of wasps than deal with the inevitable burn of rejection.

Because for all his blushes and playful flirting, Jeongin is still a huge mystery waiting to be solved. One minute he’s clingy and shyly tugging on Hyunjin’s sleeve to ask if he can lean on him cause he wants to doze off during lunch. Then the next he’s glaring at him for even thinking about accidentally brushing their pinkies together. It’s a whole conglomeration of mixed signals and frustrations and, and, and _ugh!_ Why can’t things ever be easy?

Like earlier tonight, Hyunjin tried to calm Jeongin’s nerves by merely placing his hand on top of his, not even a hand hold! And all he got in return was narrowed eyes and a taut jaw. It’d be fine if he didn’t wanna be touched, he’d never force him or anything, but it’s just confusing. He never knows what side of him he’s going to get.

Suddenly, a hesitant hand rested on his own. A few soft taps to the back of his hand made him snap towards, _oh fuck me-_

“Are you okay? That frown on your face is awfully scary,” Jeongin shot him a worried look, eyebrows knitted and chapped bottom lip tucked between his teeth. “If it’s too much, we can switch films. I’m sure Seungmin and Lix won’t mind.”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks though.”

Jeongin hummed, but he didn’t seem convinced. He hooked his willowy fingers underneath Hyunjin’s palm, loosely gripping his hand. He gave it a firm squeeze, hard enough there’s no way he didn’t expect Hyunjin to notice. Then, as if on cue, Jigsaw’s stupid Rube Goldberg machine of a trap set off and brutally maimed the latest unlikeable character on screen. All the blood and guts made his stomach churn and he couldn’t help but wince. This same chain of events happened two times over before Hyunjin caught on to Jeongin’s system. He would squeeze his hand about 5 or so seconds before a jumpscare, gorey scene, whatever, came on screen. He was warning him of the scares so he’d know when to look away.

_He really did watch these a billion times, huh? _

About four movies into the trash heap called the Saw franchise and Hyunjin’s eyes were starting to droop close. They begged him for rest, tugging desperately on his lashes to let his body get the sleep it deserves. 

He started to drift, eyelids fluttering open every few moments as he fought the urge to let go. He found his head lulling to the side, making himself a pillow out of Jeongin’s shoulder. He felt the slight jostle of Jeongin’s frame as he chuckled down at him. He felt the soothing warmth of his fingertips ghost across his forehead, the calloused pads pressing faintly on the lines of his forehead before they brushed the hair from his face. The still half awake part of him let out a purr of approval at the touch, keening into his palm. 

“Get some rest, sweet boy.” Jeongin’s breath fanned over the top of his hair.

And maybe, just maybe, the rigidity of his joints and dull ache in his muscles when he woke up was worth it.

* * *

**[NOVEMBER 1ST. 8:37 AM.]**   
  


_**private chat: chan and jeongin** _

**chan** : hey i found out what happened last night

 **jeongin** : wht no gm for ur baby brother

 **chan** : good morning i found out what happened last night

 **jeongin** : do tell because i sure did not spend the whole night with a sulky felix for changbin to be a fucking dickhead and screw around with guys behind his back

 **chan** : the gist of it is this weirdo kept bugging changbin for his number for the past few weeks. he told him very clearly to fuck off every time but he didn’t take the hint ig. so at the party changbin was buzzed so he was a little out of it and the guy comes up and starts flirting w him. changbin STILL says no but then he started grabbing at changbin and shit. he tried to push his grimy dirtbag hands away but then he KISSED him without his consent and that’s what felix saw.

 **chan** : changbin would never mess with felix like that

 **chan** : and minho also saw it so if you don’t believe me... ask him

 **jeongin** : i believe you

 **jeongin** : i just don’t know if lix will

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin** : just dropped off hyunjins annoying ass @ his house who wants starbucks

 **hyunjin** : i am in this chat 

**seungmin** : and? you didn’t let me meet your dog so you’re dead to me for the next 3 hours.

 **jeongin** : felix wants cake pops

 **jeongin** : also his fucking battery acid coffee order but i am formally denying that request

 **seungmin** : denial granted

 **jeongin** : note: felix isn’t using his phone rn so he’s talking thru me

 **hyunjin** : tell him i luv him and i hope he feels okay. and i will punch changbin in the face even if he freaks me out w his big man muscles

 **hyunjin** : and that i’m here for him if he needs it cause he’s the best and i’d jump in front of a train for him

 **jeongin** : i hate you 

**jeongin** : that is so long

 **seungmin** : starbucks acquired. expect arrival in 4 minutes.

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**lucas** : yangyang is so sexy and smart he used his baby cousin to let us go trick or treating and we got so much fucking CANDY

 **lucas** : he gave me all his mini twix bars 💚

 **lucas** : ALERT 

**lucas** : ALERT ALERT ALERT

 **lucas** : HE FUCKINF KISSED MEKWHDJQKDH

 **lucas** : IM SORRY YANGYANGS BABY COUSIN FOR WHAT YOU JUST HAD TO SEE BUT IM GAY AND YANGYANG MAKES ME FEEL THINGS

 **lucas** : god he is the prettiest man alive

 **hyunjin** : congrats on finally kissing the boy you’ve been lowkey dating for 3 weeks

 **hyunjin** : oh wait HE kissed YOU

 **hyunjin** : useless. no balls. your own bf made the first move when u pride urself on being confident

 **lucas** : don’t you have a dog to make out with

 **hyunjin** : NO CAUSE HES MAD AT ME FOR FEEDING HIM LATE

 **hyunjin** : also my body Hurts

 **hyunjin** : oof ouch me bonesies

 **hyunjin** : i fell asleep sitting up on a couch but it’s ok cause i held a very pretty boys hand the whole time

 **lucas** : OWO??

 **hyunjin** : it was jeongin

 **hyunjin** : i think i might like him but it could just be infatuation cause he was the first person i met here tht wasn’t 80

 **lucas** : fair but keep me updated

 **hyunjin** : either way i don’t think he likes me like tht. i think he likes this dude yeosang from school cause felix mentioned him once

 **lucas** : who knows he might develop feelings for u at some point if he hasn’t already

 **lucas** : no one can resist u bro ur so sexy

 **hyunjin** : uwu thank u bro

* * *

**[NOVEMBER 7TH. 5:12 PM.]**

_**private chat: changbin and jeongin** _

**changbin** : hi

 **jeongin** : i’m not forcing felix to talk to you

 **changbin** : i know

 **changbin** : i just want him to listen to me so he knows what happened that night

 **changbin** : you know i would never cheat on him. fuck we’re not even dating yet but the thought of him thinking i did that behind his back is destroying me. he doesn’t deserve to think he’s not good enough cause i know that’s what hes thinking. he’s always been good enough and he’s always been my world.

 **changbin** : i’ve only told chan this but i think i’m falling in love with him

 **changbin** : we’ve been waiting for months to be more than just “complicated” but it was never the right time and now i regret not MAKING it the right time

 **changbin** : just

 **changbin** : please just ask him to listen

 **changbin** : if he says no again i won’t bother him anymore

 **jeongin** : i’ll do my best

 **jeongin** : but i’m not going to meddle any further after that.

 **changbin** : thank you. i owe you one.

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix** : someone convince me to block changbin

 **hyunjin** : block him he’s trash

 **hyunjin** : doesn’t deserve to even have ur number in his phone

 **seungmin** : upvoted.

 **jeongin** : have u considered perhaps talking to him then blocking him after

 **jeongin** : give him a piece of ur mind then block his ass

 **seungmin** : roast him then dip.... a fool proof plan.

 **felix** : ...considered. perhaps.

 **felix** : anyways who’s up for the mall this weekend i wanna drain seungmin and jeongin’s bank accs to momentarily increase my dopamine levels

 **hyunjin** : me!!!!

 **seungmin** : me

 **jeongin** : let’s get it babey

* * *

**[7:54 PM.]**

_**private chat: felix and jeongin** _

_[FELIX SENT 2 SCREENSHOTS.]_

**felix** : ask chan if this is true

 **felix** : he was there right

 **jeongin** : its true

 **felix** : kill me

 **felix** : what do i DO

 **jeongin** : mayhaps respond before he thinks u blocked him already

 **felix** : UGGHHHH

 **felix** : i hate boys. i hate gays. i’m homophobic.

* * *

**[8:25 PM.]**

_**private chat: felix and jeongin** _

**felix** : so

 **felix** : i have a bf now

 **jeongin** : 20 minutes ago you were homophobic

 **felix** : and 20 minutes later i’m homophobic and have a bf.

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix** : so i’m dating changbin now fellas

 **jeongin** : he told me first so i have the most rights

 **seungmin** : i take it he had a good excuse

 **hyunjin** : wtf happened

_[FELIX SENT 2 SCREENSHOTS.]_

**seungmin** : Ah.

 **hyunjin** : makes sense but he’s on thin ice

 **jeongin** : agreed

 **jeongin** : brb incoming call from (redacted)

 **felix** : ok have fun we love u

* * *

_**private chat: chan and jeongin** _

**jeongin** : cheis 

**jeongin** : chrissy

 **jeongin** : please come homw

 **jeongin** : its an emergency please

 **chan** : i’m omw

 **chan** : gonna call you, okay? is that alright?

 **chan** : jeongie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise bastards early update  
> ok i still hate the last narrative so i hope this one makes up for it ???? lmk ????  
> how did y’all feel abt hyunjin admitting his possible feelings to himself + lucas ??? how did y’all feel abt changbin ???? and when will god (me) finally give jeongin a break ???  
> also now we’re 1/3 of the way thru my plot points doc so yay me... be ready for shit 2 hit the fan next update  
> please comment and leave kudos if u can ilu guys sm 💛💛💛


	19. scalding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the hell is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING
> 
> the following chapter will include mentions / descriptions of:  
> • drug abuse / addiction  
> • character death (no major characters dw)  
> • vomiting
> 
> please skip this chapter if you feel you will not be able to handle these things. be safe and do not push yourself past your limits.

**[NOVEMBER 8TH. 12:34 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin** : has anyone heard from jeongin

 **felix** : not since last night

 **hyunjin** : ^^

 **seungmin** : fack

 **seungmin** : should we do a raincheck or nah

 **felix** : nah

 **felix** : jeongie if ure reading this meet us @ the mall at 1 pm or i diagnose u w Bitch

 **felix** : damn rly expected him to reply to tht one

 **hyunjin** : get fucked

 **felix** : you. quiet.

 **seungmin** : i’m gonna text chan in a bit and see whts up

 **seungmin** : if he’s sick he’s gonna be bratty

 **seungmin** : we gotta get him smth or the angy will jump out

 **hyunjin** : the terrible 16s

 **felix** : god he’s 16

 **felix** : imagine being smart enough to graduate at 17 whole years old

 **seungmin** : jisung han can somehow relate

 **felix** : he doesn’t count he pulled a jennifer’s body type sacrifice for that one and we Know It

* * *

**[12:57 PM.]**   
  


_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin** : jeongin has the flu so chan said no visitation

 **seungmin** : the bang boys r on lockdown until further notice

 **hyunjin** : jeongin’s an antivaxxer...

 **felix** : not in this vaccinated household

 **seungmin** : hey felix remember when ur mom tried to trick u into thinking u can only get the flu once then u become immune

 **felix** : WILL YOU SHUT UP

 **felix** : YOU THOUGHT CARDINALS WERE ROBINS FOR LIKE 13 YEARS

 **seungmin** : i never said i knew my birds

 **seungmin** : i am no stanley uris

* * *

**[NOVEMBER 9TH.]**   
  


_**private chat: seungmin and jeongin** _

**seungmin** : i know you’re not sick.

* * *

**[NOVEMBER 10TH. 7:12 AM.]**   
  


_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

_[HYUNJIN SENT A PHOTO.]_

**hyunjin** : guys what the fuck

 **seungmin** : oh my god

 **felix** : i’m.

 **felix** : we gotta go. like right now.

* * *

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

**seungmin** : get to the hs now

 **jisung** : why

 **changbin** : i’m not going back there unless it’s for bf purposes

 **felix** : someone posted flyers of jeongin shooting up

 **minho** : pardon me?

 **minho** : that’s not funny.

 **felix** : i’m serious.

 **felix** : it’s edited, but they’re everywhere.

_[SEUNGMIN SENT A PHOTO.]_

**seungmin** : hyunjin already started ripping them down but we need help

 **jisung** : “do you want this kind of person roaming your halls?” who the hell wrote that

 **seungmin** : it’s bad

 **seungmin** : we cant let jeongin see it

 **chan** : he already did

 **chan** : i dropped him off early to work on his portfolio

 **chan** : i

 **chan** : i didn’t know these were posted

 **chan** : how did anyone find out

 **minho** : channie just get to the school and we’ll figure it out from there

* * *

**[7:34 AM.]**   
  


_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**hyunjin** : fuck

 **hyunjin** : guys jeongin’s locker looks. bad

 **hyunjin** : all his stuff is destroyed

 **hyunjin** : theres syringes all over the place

 **hyunjin** : what the hell is going on

 **hyunjin** : jeongin just came out of the principal’s office

 **hyunjin** : i think he’s headed towards the parking lot

* * *

A spray of bile hit the concrete, saliva and stomach fluids pooling in the cracks and crevices of the ground. Jeongin was keeled over, bracing himself on the side of Seungmin’s car. He heard yelling, so much fucking yelling. What are they so damn loud for? Everything felt heavy. Heavy, and loud, and his skin felt like it was sizzling. Like scalding grease was splattered across his skin. He wanted to rip and gnaw away at his blistering flesh. He wanted to watch the blood seep from the wounds, the exposed muscle pulsating in the unforgiving shine of the sun. He wanted to skin himself alive to make it stop, to forget. 

He felt his stomach heave again, violent tremors wracking up his spine. He felt steady hands on his shoulders and fingers carding through his hair. It was unbearable. He desperately tried to shove them away, tried to scream at them to stop touching him, but all that came out of his mouth was choked sobs and painful hiccups as his throat convulsed, still trying to empty his body of its organs. He felt his knees start to wobble, seconds away from giving out under his weight. Then he felt arms around him, holding him up so he didn’t collapse into his own puke. He couldn’t tell who it was, couldn’t make out anything through the ringing and the tears and the burning. He was in agony.

“Jeongin-“

_Christopher_.

“Stay the hell away from me!” His voice was hoarse from the vomiting, acid scorching his insides and eating away all the moisture in his mouth. “...away... Go away...” He choked, succumbing to the weariness of his limbs and leaning all his weight on the unfortunate soul holding onto him.

“Jeongie...” He heard the shuffle of apprehensive footfalls, “Let me drive you home, okay?”

“I think you should just go, Chan. He doesn’t want to see you.” That came from the person he was leaning against. He felt their chest rise and fall as they spoke, the rigidity of their muscles as they tightened their grip on him. Jeongin sniffed, nostrils filling with an unmistakable body mist. Felix. “We’ll get him home safe, we promise.”

“Channie, lets go...” Jisung, it had to be. “You can smother him later, he needs to calm down.”

He heard the mumbled snippets of an argument begin to break out between the older group. Felix took their distraction as his chance to haul Jeongin into the back of the car. “JJ, can you hear me? Its Felix.”

He didn’t respond, didn’t have the energy to form coherent thoughts let alone verbal agreements. Through bleary eyes and sticky lashes he made out the outline of Seungmin as he entered his peripheral. “I’m gonna drive him to my place. If he goes home Chan will just bombard him with nonsense till he breaks down again.” He squatted down in front of him so he could make eye contact. “Is that okay?”

Jeongin nodded, or at least he hoped the jerky motion he just made resembled one.

“Cool, cool... Okay, uh, Felix, Hyunjin, I want you guys to stay at school today. Try to find out what happened, who did this, whatever you can.”

“But-“

“We’ll do our best.” Hyunjin promptly cut Felix off, looping their arms together to hook him into submission. “Keep us updated?”

“Will do.”

* * *

**[9:57 AM.]**   
  


_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix** : so

 **felix** : hyunjin would you care to share with the class what just happened

 **hyunjin** : i just got a week suspension for punching a freshman in the face

 **felix** : i hate this fucking family.

* * *

Jeongin tossed his sketchbook to the side, misty eyes barely registering where it landed. His hair stuck up in odds and ends, cow licks hastily strewn in his hair. Seungmin stood in the doorway in a similar state of sleep ridden disarray. He hovered by the frame, arms crossed defensively as he monitored Hyunjin’s every stride towards Jeongin.

“You can go, Min, it’s alright.” Jeongin’s feeble voice croaked out the syllables, struggling with each catch of a vowel that left his tongue. He further punctuated it with a quiet sniffle. “Go back to bed.”

Seungmin hummed, shifting from one uneasy foot to the other. He gave Hyunjin a narrow glare before turning on his heel to leave the two to themselves.

Hyunjin let out a breath he cheesily hadn’t realized he’d been holding onto. The soft burn in his lungs was refreshing, though. He’d gone numb from all the events that occurred in the last 3 hours. Too many thoughts swirling about, too many whispers and jeers floating around the classrooms. It wasn’t surprising that he snapped, but he was surprised that he almost broke a kids nose because of it.

_Jeongin can’t call him noodle arms now, huh? _

Truthfully, he’d had no clue where to go after the principal announced his suspension, so he went where he figured he was most helpful. Then he realized Kkami really didn’t need any help right now since he was dozing off in his little doggy bed like usual. So, he came here instead after receiving confirmation from Seungmin of where they were holed up.

“I brought something for you, Jeongie.” He cautiously perched himself on the edge of the bed, one leg tucked neatly underneath the other. “Do you wanna see?”

Jeongin’s eyes slowly made their way up to Hyunjin’s. They started from where he was spaced out, staring at the sketchbook he discarded like he had no clue how it got there. Then they trailed up to the bed, obediently following the threads and patterns of the quilt. It was like he was running in 10fps. “You didn’t have to bring me anything.” His eyes were foggy, emotionless. not a single star in that cloudy night sky.

“But I did, so here,” He rolled the peach towards him, undeterred by the lack of reaction when it hit inevitably thumped against Jeongin’s calf. “It’s part of the last harvest. Peach season ended a little while ago, but I got one last good harvest.”

Jeongin nodded, cupping the fruit with both hands. He carefully transferred it to the nightstand. “I’ll have it later, I’m afraid I’ll waste it if I have it now...” He turned his head back to him, “Thank you.” 

Hyunjin raised a hand in dismissal, but Jeongin caught it in his own. There was a twinge in his brow, a scowl tugging at the ends of his lips. “What did you do, silly boy?” He questioned softly, lifting his hand towards his face. He carefully examined it, skilled fingers running along the wound. He ghosted the pad of his thumb along the angry bruise across his knuckles. It was starting to turn purple now, ugly patches of burst blood vessels taking shape.

Hyunjin sucked on his bottom lip, eyes downcast in shame. “I... I punched someone.” He admitted.

Jeongin tsked. “Why would you do that? I bet you got suspended, huh?” He scolded, but his deft fingers gently massaging the back of his hand gave way to the feigning edge in his voice. “Dumbass.”

“He was talking shit, he deserved it.” hyunjin flipped his hand over to grasp Jeongin’s fingers. He gave them a light squeeze. “I don’t like when people say mean things about you.”

Jeongin sighed then leaned forward till his head fell against Hyunjin’s broad shoulder. “I know, I know... But you shouldn’t get yourself into trouble for me, okay? Its gonna get you into things you wish it didn’t.”

“You would’ve done the same for me, though. Probably worse.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

Hyunjin let out a defeated sigh. He knew he shouldn’t have hit that kid, but he didn’t regret it. He was saying things, —terrible things!— with no factual basis. Absolutely no proof!

“Hey, Innie, can I ask you something?”

Jeongin nodded against his shoulder, shifting slightly so his puffy cheek was cutely smooshed into it.

“You’re not on drugs, are you?”

Jeongin tensed, breath stuttering as he puffed out a sudden burst of air. “No, no, I’m not.” He gulped, and Hyunjin half expected him to pull away, but instead, he curled his tiny frame further into Hyunjin’s side. He held tight onto his hand. He could feel Jeongin’s fingernails creating crescents in his flesh. “My mom- My mom was. She was a heroin addict. I- Uhm, she... She died on Friday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok hi ik this chap was A Lot so pls lmk wht u thought esp since i have Personal Experience w this topic  
> also i started working on a new au (not published yet, it’s gonna be a super long one shot) and it’s gonna be about nct dream... am excited.  
> anyways again lmk wht y’all thought !!!! and next weeks chap hopefully won’t be late but no promises... ilu guys !!!!


	20. brb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i gotta go

**[NOVEMBER 8TH. 1:12 PM.]**

**_ group chat: berry love zone _ **

**felix** : i’m adding hyunjin to this chat because fuck you

 **jisung** : rude but ok

 **minho** : fantastic, i can terrorize another ripe youth like the crotchety old man i was meant to be.

 **chan** : please don’t talk like that when i am dating you

 **minho** : fine i’m a nasty wrinkled elderly man who is also single now

 **minho** : a widow, if you will

 **chan** : IM STILL ALIVE?

 **seungmin** : for now.

 **felix** : don’t make death threats when the boomers are present

 **changbin** : hey :(

 **felix** : i said what i said.

 **felix** : anyways. hyunjin

_[FELIX ADDED HYUNJIN TO THE CHAT]_

**hyunjin** : what is w u ppl and adding me to chats i don’t consent to

 **jisung** : hi

 **hyunjin** : oh fuck me

 **changbin** : no scrapping we already r down one child

 **minho** : jeongin’s still in the chat he’s just ignoring us

 **jisung** : i love u jeongin even when u hit me w ur backpack when i’m annoying ❤️

 **minho** : did anyone find out who put up those posters

 **hyunjin** : i got suspended so no

 **felix** : no but the principal is holding a mandatory emergency drug awareness assembly so. neat

 **seungmin** : yknow what’s weird

 **seungmin** : i didn’t know jeongin’s mom died until this morning

 **seungmin** : neither did felix or hyunjin or anyone else in this chat

 **seungmin** : besides chan.

 **minho** : don’t go there

 **jisung** : seungmin, watch it.

 **chan** : are you seriously accusing me of doing that

 **seungmin** : you’re the only one who knew.

 **seungmin** : so either you told someone and they did it or you did it yourself.

 **minho** : chan wouldn’t fucking do that are you insane

 **seungmin** : jeongin yelled for him to go away

 **seungmin** : he didn’t want to be anywhere near him

 **jisung** : i get what you’re saying but you don’t have proof seungmin

 **seungmin** : it’s the only thing that makes sense

 **changbin** : It’s Really Not Though

 **chan** : it doesn’t make any fucking sense actually

 **chan** : i wouldn’t fucking do that to jeongin. ive spent the last 3 days making sure he’s not rotting in his room or trying to hurt himself or god knows what. ive been cooking for him, making sure he’s taking his medication, cleaning himself, everything!

 **chan** : during all of that, when would i be able to formulate that shitty plan? when i would be able to execute it?

 **chan** : for the last 72 fucking hours i’ve spent every waking second by his side. he slept in MY bed for DAYS because he kept having nightmares and wouldn’t calm down unless someone was there. i didn’t even THINK about going to my classes this week in case he needed something. 

**chan** : so screw you seungmin and screw everyone else who believes that deplorable fucking theory

 **chan** : and yknow what? maybe you should consider why he didn’t go to YOU when he found out. has he even told you what happened beyond the fact she’s dead?

 **chan** : or are you too concerned with the reality he views me as more of a brother than he ever will with you?

 **felix** : chan that’s enough

 **minho** : both of you are stressed and reaching. go take a breather and come back when you’re ready to talk like adults.

* * *

**_ private chat: seungmin and hyunjin _ **

**hyunjin** : hey,,, are you alright? that was rly,, overwhelming

 **hyunjin** : lmk if u wanna talk

 **seungmin** : i’m sick of chans stupid ass savior complex

 **seungmin** : all he ever does is act like the knight in shining armor when it comes to jeongin but it comes off as him being an overbearing douchebag

 **seungmin** : he’s always on jeongin’s ass about something or another and he doesn’t realize how harmful it is

 **seungmin** : pestering him about college when jeongin doesn’t even know what he wants to do yet! always going “are you sure about this?” like jeongin needs any more self doubt about his decisions.

 **hyunjin** : seung please don’t take this the wrong way but you really seem to be... making mountains out of molehills? i think that’s the phrase

 **hyunjin** : worrying about college is normal and so is making sure he’s positive about big decisions in his life

 **hyunjin** : sure he’s overprotective sometimes but he’s just acting like a big brother normally does? i don’t understand the issue you have with him beyond the accusations

 **seungmin** : of course you wouldn’t understand.

 **hyunjin** : then help me understand

 **seungmin** : he’s just too much all the time. too touchy when he knows jeongin doesn’t like to be touched, too hard on him when he knows it can throw him into panic attacks, too into his own personal life when jeongin needs him and too attached to him when he doesn’t.

 **hyunjin** : so, what you’re saying, is chan touches jeongin a lot (which you also do), pushes him out of his comfort zone/pushes him to do better (which you also do), and has a personal life outside of jeongin (which i hope you have)

 **hyunjin** : i’m not saying how close you are is bad, but acting like your relationship with him is above the one with his own brother is,,, iffy. idk

 **seungmin** : jeongin is my brother too!!! ive literally known him for longer than chan has!!!!!!!

 **seungmin** : it’s not fucking fair that just because chans parents adopted him it somehow negates our foster sibling status. i spent nearly my whole fucking life by his side and protecting him and chan waltzes in and goes ‘hey! fuck you!’ and takes him away. he has no right to pretend like i’m not his brother too and he had no right to fucking say what he did in the chat

 **seungmin** : wait

 **seungmin** : dont. don’t fucking repeat that to anybody

 **seungmin** : fuck

 **seungmin** : i gotta go.

* * *

**[5:23 PM.]**

**_ private chat: hyunjin and jeongin _ **

**jeongin** : hey

 **hyunjin** : hi hru feeling??

 **jeongin** : better now. u made me feel a lot... lighter ? i’m not used to tht

 **jeongin** : like. i didn’t feel so alone ig ??? even tho seungmin was there he was more just... being protective and overly aggressive about the whole thing but u just

 **jeongin** : idk

 **jeongin** : i guess it’s cause we’re best friends and all tht he’s on the offensive rn when it comes to anyone coming near me but it feels rly suffocating

 **jeongin** : i am. rambling i’m so sorry kehcjsh hru ??

 **hyunjin** : i’m glad you’re feeling better 🥺🥺 and i’m rly rly glad i helped make u feel tht way

 **hyunjin** : i’m okay but my hand kinda aches now

 **jeongin** : u should have let me kiss it better like i WANTED to u fool then maybe it wouldn’t hurt.

 **hyunjin** : i appreciate the gesture but i’m pretty sure a kiss would not heal this very icky looking bruise on my hand

 **jeongin** : u never know until u try

 **hyunjin** : maybe ull just have to kiss it every day till it is better hahah.... unless? 😳😳😳

 **jeongin** : moron. clown. idiot. dumbass.

 **jeongin** : maybe i will.

 **jeongin** : if u would LET ME

 **jeongin** : oh tight seungmin just slammed the door to his bedroom for the 17th time in the past 3 hrs. i see someone has entered his white boy gamer rage mode

 **hyunjin** : that Might be my fault and probably chans too

 **jeongin** : why

 **hyunjin** : check the berry love gc

 **jeongin** : did they add u to it

 **jeongin** : i’ve had it muted cause i’m pissed @ chris rn

 **hyunjin** : why r u mad at him

 **jeongin** : ik it’s just me trying to push the blame on Something but i’m mad cause i stopped talking to my mom as much cause he told me to

 **jeongin** : and then she. yknow

 **jeongin** : and the last time i talked to her was uhhhh a few days ago and i’ve been making excuses as to why we cut down from one call every two days to one every week and hahah wow just now realized she prolly thought i hated her cause of tht

 **jeongin** : which is prolly why i’m pushing the blame onto chris even tho it was ultimately my decision !!!!!!

 **jeongin** : and it was probabky all my fuckinf fault she killed herself cause she thought i hated her and i was all she had and of course my stupid ass decided to be selfish and reject her calls and shit

 **jeongin** : god i’m fucking. i’m sorry you’re not my therapist lol i shouldn’t be dumping this on u

 **jeongin** : thank u for listening to me though and like. dealing w my emo shit and all

 **hyunjin** : you’re my friend of course i’m gonna listen to you when you need me!!! you’ve been there for me when i was having panic attacks and freaking out like it’s only fair i’m here for you too

 **hyunjin** : and i can’t say what your mom was thinking since i didn’t know her but i know it’s not your fault she ended her life. she could have been planning to do it for a long time regardless of your place in her life.

 **jeongin** : thank you that. means a lot to me

 **jeongin** : i’m really bad with words i’m sorry but you’re the best

 **jeongin** : like for real id probably be fucking. losing my mind rn if you weren’t part of my life and ik that’s weird but idc !!!!!!

 **jeongin** : okay i have to. read the gc msgs i’ll brb

 **jeongin** : and if you’re up for it can we call later ?

 **hyunjin** : yes!!! i’d love tht

 **hyunjin** : also the chat is intense so h

**[5:37 PM.]**

**jeongin** : oh

 **jeongin** : huh

 **jeongin** : i’m gonna kill seungmin brb :)))))

* * *

_**private chat: chan and jeongin** _

**jeongin** : chrissy, you know i don’t think you did any of it, right?

 **jeongin** : i’m sorry for snapping at you at school... i (wrongly) blamed you for stuff unrelated to the posters and everything

 **jeongin** : i know i don’t say it often enough but i love you. i couldn’t ask for a better big brother.

 **chan** : i love you too.

 **chan** : thank you for having faith in me.

 **chan** : are you going to come home tonight? it’s okay if you don’t want to, i just need to know if i can lock the door.

 **jeongin** : yeah, but can you pick me up ?

 **jeongin** : i’m sitting outside the gate to seungmin’s community

 **jeongin** : too angry to be near him

 **chan** : i’ll be there in a few

 **chan** : wanna stop at the convenience store on the way home? we can have a movie night. we haven’t had one of those in forever.

 **jeongin** : yes !!!! i’d luv tht

 **jeongin** : pls come get me soon tho i’m cold :(

 **chan** : omw

* * *

**[9:55 PM.]**

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

_[[JEONGIN SENT AN IMAGE.]](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1232574787026915330?s=21) _

**jeongin** : seaside w a bastard

 **hyunjin** : wht are u doing @ the boardwalk at 10 pm nothing is open

 **jeongin** : vibing

 **jeongin** : we’re just walking and talking shit out rn

 **jeongin** : we were gonna have a movie night but we impulsively decided to chill @ the beach

 **jeongin** : THE CREPE STORE IS STILL OPEN BYE

 **hyunjin** : ahxhwhdh have fun!!!!!

 **hyunjin** : also u look so cute in tht photo btw 🥺🥺 jeekies (jeongin cheekies)

 **jeongin** : shut up i have my crepe but not the willpower to not blush rn

 **jeongin** : i wanna bring u here one day these crepes r so good

 **jeongin** : they’re made fresh like right before ur eyes and !!!! u can get a bunch of stuff in them !!!!!!!

 **jeongin** : anyways chris is threatening to devour my crepe whole if i don’t get off my phone

 **jeongin** : if ure still up later we can call but please don’t like. stay up for me or anything cause ik you will try to

 **hyunjin** : it’s not my fault ur voice is cute and i wanna hear it :(

 **hyunjin** : and ive never had a crepe please take me to get one!!!!! i will literally pay u to take me there!!!!!!!

 **hyunjin** : have fun w chan i’m still gonna try to stay up for u tho

 **jeongin** : Bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo seungmin and jeongin reveal.... how we feeling.........  
> also we r officially halfway done this au (plot doc wise) which i am ??? so surprised by ?????  
> anyways lmk wht u thought abt this chap !!! how did u feel abt chan and seungmins fight ? and seungmin + hyunjin’s convo ? and wht abt hyunjin and jeongin’s ? how did u feel abt their very dumb flirting thts prolly going straight over their heads ? so many questions....  
> ilu guys and thank u fr reading !!!!!! 💛💛💛


	21. therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> venting hours: start !

**[NOVEMBER 9TH. 3:01 AM.]**

_**private chat: seungmin and jeongin** _

**seungmin** : where are you

 **jeongin** : with chris

 **seungmin** : oh

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**jeongin** : please god give me strength not to blow up on seungmin rn

 **hyunjin** : did he text u

 **jeongin** : Unfortunately.

 **jeongin** : all he did was ask where i was then go “oh” when i said with chris

 **jeongin** : quite a riveting convo ik

 **hyunjin** : maybe u should talk to him when uve settled and let it like,,, sink in fully

 **jeongin** : ya i will it’s just. rly hard not to pick a fight abt it yknow

 **jeongin** : like ik how he’s felt like chris replaced him and all but no matter what i do it’s just not enough to convince him he’s still important to me

 **jeongin** : and ig thts my fault partially cause i cant formulate my thoughts into words without shutting down or having a panic attack or smth

 **jeongin** : ure just becoming this groups therapist i am so sorry

 **hyunjin** : no its okay!!! i’m more proud tht i got to the point where u guys trust me enough w private matters than anything else

 **jeongin** : still. i’m sorry i’m venting sm i usually don’t do this

 **jeongin** : thank u for listening to me

 **jeongin** : do you wanna call ? i want to hear u

 **jeongin** : i worded tht in the creepiest way possible what the fuck

 **hyunjin** : jwhfksu dumbass

 **hyunjin** : and yes!!!

 **hyunjin** : i lowkey missed hearing ur voice

 **jeongin** : i missed hearing urs too

 **jeongin** : now call me coward

**[5:32 AM.]**

**jeongin** : this is gonna sound stupid

 **jeongin** : i just had a nightmare and hearing u like. breathing on the line still ??? calmed me down ??? ig cause it’s grounding me in a way and it feels like i’m not alone

 **jeongin** : thank god i didn’t wake u up tht would be mortifying

 **jeongin** : gosh i’m fucking. so dumb i’m abt to start gushing some sappy bullshit cause i’m tired and i’m not actually speaking and kshcksj

 **jeongin** : i feel like you really see me if tht makes sense and actually LIKE me for me and not because i’m popular or christopher bangs petty little brother

 **jeongin** : i’m just rly used to ppl having ulterior motives when they befriend me which is why i only rly hang out w seungmin and felix but smth about you... it made me take a chance ig ?? and i’m so glad i did because i probably would be in shambles rn if not lol

 **jeongin** : and ik i have a tendency to flip flop between being affectionate and pushing you away and it can be... a lot for you. i just. don’t like being touched sometimes, yknow ?? it depends on my mood mostly and has nothing to do w you specifically but ik u think it does cause u get tht kicked puppy look on ur face

 **jeongin** : i just

 **jeongin** : i guess what i just wanna say is appreciate you being in my life. i didn’t think i’d ever let anyone else in, but i did. and it was you. and you’re... you're hyunjin and i wouldn’t want anyone else

 **jeongin** : me: writes a long winded essay abt how you are my friend in the most incoherent way manageable

 **jeongin** : anyway i’m gonna instantly regret that word vomit but tldr: i care u 💛

**[7:29 AM.]**

**hyunjin** : if u hear me sniffling on the phone rn mind ur business

 **hyunjin:** i have a confession.

 **hyunjin** : i’ve never had anyone in my life who stayed with me.

 **hyunjin** : well truthfully it was me who never stayed. my parents moved us between the states and korea nearly every year for work, but we ended up in different towns and cities each time.

 **hyunjin:** the only person who stuck with me was lucas and i only met him 3 years ago

 **hyunjin:** i never bothered making connections after that, not like i bothered before either but regardless you get the point

 **hyunjin:** i was bullied a lot whenever we were in the states so whenever someone tried to get close to me it almost always was a trick or a dare or just didn’t last long. i got used to everything having an expiration date i guess

 **hyunjin:** i expected it to be like that again this year so i wanted to keep my head down but you came into my life and flipped my whole world upside down. i didn’t trust you at first, but i know you knew that. you scared me, especially since everyone who would be targeting me was leaving me alone due to YOUR presence. it didn’t add up to me and it still doesn’t that you would wanna be friends with someone like me

 **hyunjin:** i know you heard the whispers in the halls about how i’m just a waste of time and a freak and shit like that

 **hyunjin:** but you still stuck with me. fuck innie you skipped class and got in trouble with chan just to comfort me after a panic attack after knowing me for what? barely a month? if that?

 **hyunjin:** you’re the type of person people like me dream of having in their lives

 **hyunjin:** cringe ik

 **hyunjin:** kkami needs to go on a walk so i have to hang up

 **hyunjin:** i hope you feel better now that we are both guilty of oversharing word vomit

 **hyunjin:** thanks for being my friend

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and lucas** _

**hyunjin:** i think i have a crush on jeongin

 **hyunjin:** like a real crush

 **hyunjin:** i’m so screwed. i’m fucked

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t realize how deep my stupid fucking feelings ran till i was spilling my heart out to him about how much he means to me as a friend

 **hyunjin:** i was just like uwu i’m glad i met u uwu then my brain went “u idiot u wanna kiss him don’t u. wanna hold his hand like a home of sexual. dithgusting.”

 **hyunjin:** i’m making jokes like i’m not hyperventilating on my bedroom floor rn

 **hyunjin:** i could lose everything cause of this

 **hyunjin:** i

 **hyunjin:** i really fucked up this time lucas

 **lucas:** call me

* * *

_**private chat: seungmin and jeongin** _

**seungmin:** hey

 **jeongin:** what

 **seungmin:** can we talk

 **jeongin:** i suppose.

 **seungmin:** i’m sorry for what i said about chan.

 **seungmin:** i wasn’t thinking straight and my judgement was clouded.

 **seungmin:** i let my personal bias overtake logic 

**jeongin:** can you stop fucking talking like a politician. this isn’t some press conference seungmin so just be real with me and stop wasting my time

 **seungmin:** okay

 **seungmin:** i said that stuff about chan because i’m scared i’m not as important as him to you

 **seungmin:** i’m aware it was low of me to weaponize my insecurities and aim them at chan when you guys were in such a vulnerable situation

 **seungmin:** it just feels like you don’t need me anymore

 **seungmin:** when we were little it was just us against the world. i’d protect you from the older kids and i’d hold your hand at night when the street lamps casted shadows that you thought were monsters coming to eat us

 **seungmin:** you were all i had, yknow? my biological parents were dead and gone and no foster parents ever kept me in their homes for more than a few months.

 **seungmin:** but then you came in on your first day with nothing but bloody clothes and bandages on your leg. i saw how small and fragile you were and i swore to myself i’d never let anything happen to you again.

 **seungmin:** even when i got adopted i insisted my parents let me play with you every day. i never wanted to let you go and i guess that mindset is still inside me

 **seungmin:** i always thought my worst fear would be something ridiculous like heights or roller coasters but apparently it’s losing you. and i’m not exactly shocked.

 **seungmin:** this doesn’t fix what i did

 **seungmin:** but yeah

 **jeongin:** i fucking hate you so much right now yknow that. you’re my best friend. you are my lifeline. you are my BROTHER even if you are impulsive and selfish sometimes 

**jeongin:** but i’m not that same little kid anymore and you can’t shield me from the world

 **jeongin:** you and chris... i love you both, but in different ways. its the same intensity but not the same category. we have different bonds, yknow ?

 **jeongin:** i cannot and will not EVER choose between you two. do not ever put me in a position like this again because i really don’t know what i’d do if i lost either of you.

 **jeongin:** i’m. i’m realizing recently that i haven’t been showcasing my feelings in ways others can easily read.

 **jeongin:** so. i love you. you are irreplaceable. i could not live a single day without you in my life.

 **jeongin:** i’m still mad because of what you said to chris, don’t misunderstand me on that. but i do understand where you’re coming from.

 **seungmin:** i’m going to apologize to him soon. i wanted to talk to you first.

 **seungmin:** i love you too, by the way.

* * *

**[NOVEMBER 11TH. 6:34 AM.]**

**_ group chat: pussy aerodynamics _ **

**jeongin:** hi apparently i can go back to school today

 **felix:** still don’t get why u were suspended 

**jeongin:** doesn’t matter

 **jeongin:** chris is gonna drop me off so i’ll see u later

 **seungmin:** i’ll bring you starbucks

 **jeongin:** thanks king

**[7:11 AM.]**

**hyunjin:** good luck @ school innie and co

 **felix:** i give a man my hostess snowballs and he labels me under “co” i see how it is

 **hyunjin:** good luck @ school seungmin and innie ❤️❤️❤️

 **felix:** REALLY

 **felix** : men are trash.

* * *

**[NOVEMBER 14TH. 6:45 AM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix** : HYUNJIN DAY !!!!!!!

 **jeongin** : bitchboys first day of having his suspension lifted and he’s already slept past his alarm huh

 **hyunjin** : IM AWAKE IM WAITING FOR THE BUS

 **seungmin** : ??? just let me pick u up

 **felix** : why does ur bus get there so fucking early goddamn

 **hyunjin:** decided to relish in the absence of felix and jeongin fighting over the front seat of seungmins car for one more day

 **seungmin:** god i wish that were me

* * *

“Hyunjin!” He felt a pair of lanky arms clumsily attach themselves to his waist, two hands linking just above his belly button and tugging him flush into their chest. He startled, body jolting forward from the added weight and nearly bashing his head into the row of books stacked on the shelf of his locker. He calmed for a moment, letting himself sink back into their chest when he finally recognized the honey sweet voice as Jeongin’s. But when he felt the warmth of the overeager assailants breath fanning over his ear, he grew frightened for another reason. He soon realized they were impossibly close, so close he could smell the artificial mint of his toothpaste wafting from his mouth. He could also feel the rumbling of giggles against his back as they tumbled from his lips. “I missed you.” He used the tip of his nose to nuzzle just below Hyunjin’s jawline, reminding him of a spoiled cat begging for affection. “Been so lonely without you here.”

“We hung out, like, every day since I got suspended,” Hyunjin reminded, using one hand to awkwardly tug the fabric of his sweatshirt up to hide the heated flush surging to his cheeks.

Jeongin pouted, at least he thought he did since he couldn’t really see his face at the moment. Nor could he really handle seeing his face right now when he feels like his heart is having a fun little party inside him at his own expense. “Yeah, but still! Seungmin and Felix’s faces are so irritating to look at after awhile. I need a breath of fresh air in the form of my favorite tall bastard.” He gave hyunjin’s hips an affirmatory squeeze then shifted his head so his cheek was squished against his shoulder. Once he was properly situated, he let out a content puff of air through his nose, "Comfy boy... You’re such a good pillow.”

Before Hyunjin’s heart could set off another confetti popper in his rib cage, Seungmin decided to swoop in and save his skin. 

“Hey, I thought I was your favorite tall bastard!” He complained, strolling up to the two and effortlessly dislodging Jeongin’s hold on Hyunjin’s waist to give him a taste of his own medicine. He nestled his chin on Jeongin’s shoulder and let out pitiful puppy-like whines when he swatted at his hands and yelled about how pointy his jaw was.

“You don’t count! You’re just a virgo!”

“So is like half our friend group!”

“I’m hearing virgo slander, what did Seungmin do now?” Felix slunk up beside Hyunjin and bumped shoulders with him in greeting. He snorted at the grimace covering Hyunjin’s features as he watched the two brawl in the middle of the hallway. He clapped a hand on his shoulder, “Regretting coming back already, Jin?”

“You think if I try hard enough I can convince the principal to extend my suspension for another 3 days?”

At that, Felix let out a high pitched cackle that made Hyunjin’s eardrums rattle and ring. Still, he couldn’t help the smile that creeped up his lips as he steadily sank back into the familiarity of their setup. He missed them and their antics, no matter how tolling it was on his exhaustion riddled brain at 7 in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was literally just everyone venting to each other. this was the “please get fucking therapy” chapter y’all never asked for.  
> anyways how do we feel ??? ik it was a Lot to take in. but !!! hyunjin admitting his feelings !!!!! seungmin and jeongin lore !!!!!  
> next few chaps r gonna be a ride so buckle tf IN  
> also this isn’t gonna make sense rn but it will later: this fic will not end when they confess 2 each other it’s gonna end when they have their first kiss. yes ik this sounds redundant but y’all don’t know what i have Planned.  
> anyways ilu guys !!!!!! thank u sm fr reading !!!! lmk wht u thought and have a great week !!!!!! 💛💛💛


	22. martyr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shame

**[NOVEMBER 22ND. 10:59 AM.]**

_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**jeongin:** i've had a revelation

 **felix:** i’ve had Enough

 **jeongin:** shut up this is important

 **felix:** buy my silence.

 **jeongin:** i believe i am hyunjinsexual

 **felix:** wh

 **seungmin:** does this mean you’ll stop asking johnny to throw it back on the tl

 **jeongin:** not until he does it just once

 **felix:** wait

 **felix:** wait do u legit like hyunjin

 **felix:** like in the gay way

 **jeongin:** yes

 **jeongin:** he makes me feel like.... off kilter

 **jeongin:** like he just. throws me off balance but not in a bad way ? everything i expect him to react in a certain way to he just doesn’t. i mean like he Does sorta but the way he reacts takes me out of my comfort zone

 **jeongin:** i’m not making any sense 

**jeongin:** i feel like our relationship isn’t just a one way street. we push and we pull and we both put in work where usually i would be the only one doing anything substantial

 **jeongin:** i feel like i can trust him without him stabbing at my soft spots once my guard is down

 **jeongin:** like we can show each other our vulnerabilities and know we’ll both accept them.

 **jeongin:** and i feel... REALLY comfortable touching him. like not as comfortable as i do with u guys obv but i feel okay enough to push myself to lean on him or hug him and he won’t force himself on me or anything. he’ll take what little i can give him and he’ll be so grateful abt it and i HGHHHGHH

 **jeongin:** i just feel rly safe w him

 **felix:** gimme a sec i gotta do smth

 **seungmin:** are you gonna go scream in the hallway

 **jeongin:** did you just take the hall pass and then immediately yell “OH MY GOD” once you left class

 **felix:** yes

 **seungmin:** proud of u for getting ur first detention of senior year

 **felix:** listen i hear my bff having a crush on someone and i gotta let the world know

 **seungmin:** are u going to ask hyunjin out on a date or do i have to pose as u and ask him myself

 **jeongin:** if you did that i would perform a drone strike on your car while you were still inside it

 **seungmin:** at least i would die doing smth i loved

 **seungmin:** annoying u

* * *

**[1:34** **PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix:** who wants to stop me from curb stomping jisung

 **seungmin:** not me

 **hyunjin:** wht happened

 **felix:** asked me for a favor like we’re friends

 **hyunjin:** i thought u guys Were friends

 **seungmin:** emphasis on the were

 **seungmin:** hes a bitch

 **jeongin:** be nice some of us still deal w him daily

 **hyunjin:** what did he do tho

 **jeongin:** he used us to get close to chris so he could join his band then ditched us

 **seungmin:** he never talks to us unless he needs smth now

 **jeongin:** to his credit

 **jeongin:** after he found out my mom died he did text me to let me know i could talk to him if i needed to

 **seungmin:** did u mean: the bare minimum

 **jeongin:** listen i’m just saying

 **seungmin:** hate to change the subject but anyone know where felix is

 **seungmin:** he’s still not here and as u heard the 6th period bell just rung

 **jeongin:** is he in the bathroom

 **seungmin:** not tht i know of

 **hyunjin:** 911

 **hyunjin:** nurse office

 **hyunjin:** hrruy

* * *

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

**jisung:** hey anyone wanna tell me why there’s a video circulating of mr jeongin bang and seungmin kim slamming the schools baseball captains hand in his locker

 **chan:** what

 **minho:** Explain.

 **minho:** i can’t leave these boys unattended for one day without them committing felony assault

_[JISUNG SENT A VIDEO]_

**jisung:** jeongin saying “you talk too much” then proceeding to slam dan’s locker shut on his hand goes CRAZY

 **minho:** what the fuck is wrong with them

 **changbin:** hey

 **changbin:** felix got hurt

 **hyunjin:** you all realize jeongin and seungmin are in this chat right

 **chan:** yes and is felix okay

 **changbin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** he’s with me, jeongin, and seungmin rn. we’re driving him home

 **hyunjin:** he’s pretty beat up (bruises + some cuts but no breaks) but otherwise mentally stable

 **changbin:** can you ask him to text me please

 **hyunjin:** of course

 **chan:** can you ask jeongin to text me

 **hyunjin:** are you going to yell at him

 **chan:** yes

 **hyunjin:** later

 **minho:** they’ve already corrupted the new one i see

 **minho:** @ seungmin and jeongin this Will be talked abt

 **minho:** @ felix lmk if ure up to go shopping tomorrow because you are my only good son and deserve to be spoiled in ur time of need

 **jisung:** i’m gonna drop off a milkshake after work what flavor do you want felix

 **felix:** strawberry and thank u 🥺🥺

 **felix:** changbin wants to have a movie marathon w me when i get home so igtg ilu kings ❤️❤️❤️

* * *

_**private chat: jisung and jeongin** _

**jisung:** just a warning chan and minho are on a warpath 

**jeongin:** thanks i got that from the 37 unread texts from both of them

 **jisung:** are u okay

 **jeongin:** yeah i’m not worried about getting in trouble or anything

 **jeongin:** dan’s a bitch no one cares

 **jeongin:** chris and minho might murder me and seung though

 **jisung:** they’re worried about you guys

 **jisung:** u should check in w them in the gc if you can

 **jisung:** and tell felix i hope he’s alright

 **jeongin:** got it

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin:** gonna make a mistake in a minute

 **seungmin:** please don’t drag me down w u

 **jeongin:** no promises

 **felix:** i support u two

* * *

**[5:27 PM.]**

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

**jeongin:** greetings

 **chan:** you’re grounded

 **jeongin:** disappointed but not surprised

 **minho:** idk why you’re disappointed you literally broke dans hand

 **jeongin:** actually i broke 2 of his fingers and fractured the third

 **jeongin:** it’s not like it matters

 **chan:** it’s gonna go on your fucking record jeong

 **jeongin:** the principal isn’t going to do anything

 **minho:** are you SERIOUS you assaulted the captain of the baseball team

 **jeongin:** and ? him and his dumbass groupies assaulted felix first. he’s not stupid enough to try me anyway

 **changbin:** i understand you did what you did to protect felix but you can’t be this willfully arrogant. you WILL get in trouble

 **jeongin:** not unless he wants a lawsuit for performing an illegal drug test and strip search on a minor lol

 **chan:** what

 **changbin:** that is. incredibly illegal without a guardians permission yes

 **jisung:** did. did you pass

 **chan:** of course he fucking passed he wouldn’t screw around with drugs

 **jisung:** i’m just asking jesus christ

 **jisung:** you never know what he could be doing. he could end up... Yknow

 **jeongin:** no i really don’t know actually 

**jeongin:** wanna clarify that for me ?

 **seungmin:** i think we should stop

 **jeongin:** no. tell me what you meant jisung

 **felix:** bro seriously just drop it

 **jisung:** you can’t do this shit and expect nothing to come back to bite you. you could end up in prison for stunts like this, jeongin.

 **jeongin:** just like my mother, right ?

 **jisung:** that’s not what i meant

 **jeongin:** yes, it was. you think i’ll end up a criminal like her, right ? maybe even sick like her ?

 **jisung:** she wasn’t sick

 **minho:** stop it

 **minho:** do not go there.

 **jisung:** why? she was a junkie who was too preoccupied with her need to shoot up that she almost killed him. she wasn’t fucking sick.

 **chan:** shut the fuck up jisung. you have no clue what you’re talking about.

 **jisung:** oh i don’t? you act like jeongin hasn’t vented to me about her on numerous occasions

 **jisung:** she never cared about him. she only reached out now to ease her guilt on being such a shitty parent.

 **jisung:** saying she was just sick is excusing her actions as if her choosing heroin over raising her own child wasn’t her fault

 **jeongin:** stop

 **jisung:** oh now you want me to stop? grow up, jeongin. she never gave a fuck about you.

 **hyunjin:** what in the fuck is wrong with you

 **hyunjin:** you really did only use them to get to chan and this further proves it as you repeatedly made your own assumptions about him based off the rumors around campus. if you spent more than a second around him without asking for something you would KNOW he would never touch a joint let alone hard drugs.

 **hyunjin:** and you would ALSO know his mother literally called him almost every day just to hear about how he was. she loved him and cared for him and it showed, albeit too late.

 **jisung:** oh like you know anything lmao

 **chan:** fuck off jisung

 **chan:** get your shit out of my studio. you’re not worth my time.

 **chan:** if you ever try to talk to me or jeongin again i’ll ruin your fucking life in a heartbeat

_[JISUNG HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE CHAT.]_

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and chan** _

**chan:** hey.

 **chan:** thank you for defending jeongin and saying what you did.

 **chan:** i know i act like a hardass, but i love jeongin. anyone who goes out of their way to do something like that is someone i want around my brother.

 **chan:** you’re good people.

 **hyunjin:** thank you.

 **chan:** can i ask you something?

 **hyunjin:** sure

 **chan:** did you know about the test? and the search?

 **hyunjin:** no i don’t think any of us did

 **chan:** okay. thanks.

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin:** so

 **seungmin:** everyone say thank you hyunjin

 **felix:** thank you hyunjinnie

 **jeongin:** thanks hyunjin

 **seungmin:** moving on

 **seungmin:** drug test and strip search

 **seungmin:** is that why you couldn’t go to school for a few days? waiting on the results?

 **jeongin:** yep

 **seungmin:** you should have told us. we would have gotten the principal fired before he could even whip out his lawyers phone number.

 **jeongin:** wasn’t worth it

 **jeongin:** i knew i’d pass the drug test

 **jeongin:** i was more freaked from the strip search. didn’t take too kindly to both him and the nurse looking at me like that lol 

**felix:** did they say anything about That

 **felix:** i’ll kill them if they did

 **jeongin:** nothing important. just kinda stared and did the whole “are you being abused” spiel

 **jeongin:** overall not ideal. would not recommend 

**jeongin:** i’m gonna go hole up in the library for awhile

 **felix:** stay safe jeongie

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** can i join you?

 **jeongin:** i don’t see why not

 **hyunjin:** cool. be there in 20

* * *

Hyunjin squished his cheeks, his hands denting the puffy flesh and forcing his lips into a cute little pout. His skin looked so pillowy and soft, Jeongin yearned to touch it. He wanted to just reach out and cup his cheek, to run his thumbs over the highs of his cheekbones. He wanted to inspect the color of his skin as he knew it would change beneath his touch. He wouldn’t dare to blink while it did, too afraid he’d miss the breathtaking sight. He wanted kiss the rosy color into place, wanted- _Oh god, what the hell was he thinking?_

He watched as Hyunjin’s cheeks sprung back to its original state when he removed his hands. Jeongin swallowed a squeak at that. He was so completely enthralled by the action he didn’t notice Hyunjin reaching out till the pad of his finger came in contact with the very tip of his nose. Hyunjin giggled, “Boop!”

Jeongin froze, mouth ajar and head swimming with shock. _How could he just... do that?_ He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks, every drop and vessel from every part of his body dutifully surging to his face. He shook his head, hands coming up to shield himself from Hyunjin’s view. “Don’t- Don’t do that! It’s so embarrassing!”

He heard a disheartened ‘oh’ slip past Hyunjin’s lips. He heard the quiet shuffling of fabric, he assumed Hyunjin was squirming nervously from the undue scolding he just gave. “I just- Sorry, I just didn’t want you to be sad anymore.”

Jeongin sighed, begrudgingly letting his hands fall from his face. He leaned forward till his head was rested on the cold wood of the library desk, distantly hoping the chill would soothe the fiery blush burning his skin alive. He never did well when he was caught off guard like this. His gut reaction was to hide, to pull away and curl in on himself like an armadillo faced with the gaping maw of a predator. However, this was not the wild, this was a dim and dusty library of a shitty high school and Hyunjin was the least predatory man he’d ever met. Hell, Hyunjin had anxiety attacks from the mere sight of a fly buzzing around the room. He was, as eloquently as Jeongin could muster, a pussy.

Jeongin found himself staring at Hyunjin’s hands, more specifically, his fingers. They were linked together a few inches away from his face, clearly clammy and sweating like crazy from his nerves. Jeongin found himself wondering what it’d be like to hold them, to cradle them in his lap like it was the most precious gift he could be bestowed. His wonder morphed to courage as he reached out to do the closest he could to it. The tips of fingers brushed against Hyunjin’s knuckles, faint and fleeting as whispers in the night. He shakily encased Hyunjin’s fingers with his own.

“I’m sorry... I just get grumpy when I’m flustered. I don’t actually mind when you do stuff like that,” He placated, “I like it, like- like, a lot, really.” He let out a breathy laugh, partly due to the embarrassment of laying himself out like this and partly due to the fact he loathed, no, despised making Hyunjin feel he did something wrong. He’s always doing the right things with Jeongin, whether he impulsively acts on something or calculates every risk. It was... new. It was nice.

Hyunjin hesitated. He stared down at their conjoined hands, well, if you could call Jeongin’s pathetically loose grip on his fingers anything similar to ’conjoined’. He had a knit in his brow and his teeth were sunk so deep into his lip Jeongin was worried it would begin to bleed if he continued. “Are you sure?”

Jeongin lifted his head from the table, using his free hand to support it at the chin instead. He met Hyunjin’s gaze with a new passion. “Yes, I wouldn’t lie, would I?”

Hyunjin seemed taken aback by that, “I... I guess not.”

“Something on your mind?”

Hyunjin shook his head, instead opting to focus on fiddling with Jeongin’s fingers. He traced the wrinkles and folds of his knuckles, memorizing their places on his hand. The tips of his fingers pressed gently along Jeongin’s veins, wanting to imprint their pulses into his own skin. He was lost in thought, gallivanting in his mind space like he was born to simply daydream the rest of his time away. His expression, though, was anything but whimsical.

“Seriously, what’s up with you?” Jeongin pressed, tugging his hand away to regain Hyunjin’s focus.

Hyunjin simply stared at the space where Jeongin’s hand had been, his own still there like it was never taken from his grasp at all. “Shame on the martyr,” He muttered.

Jeongin clenched his jaw, “Excuse me?”

“Nobody likes a martyr, Jeongin.”

“If that was true then maybe you shouldn’t stare at me with that dopey look in your eye all the time,” He spat. He then stood, ignoring the ear splitting screech of the chair against the floor and the deafening boom of his heart beating in his ears. He crammed his things into his bag as quickly as he could, haphazardly swinging it over his shoulder once he was done. He threw a final glare back at Hyunjin, lips twisted in an animalistic sneer. He scoffed, “Shame on the fool.”

* * *

**[7:02 PM.]**

**_ private chat: felix and hyunjin _ **

**felix:** hi!! ik i thanked u earlier but thank u x2 for staying w me today while seungmin and jeongin did That

**felix:** i really needed a shoulder to cry on and you were there for me

**felix:** so thank you legend

**hyunjin:** hey it hink i’m having a oanic attack

**felix:** what??? are u okay??? i thought u were with jeongie

**hyunjin:** ah this is not lucas dms i’m sirry

**hyunjin:** i’m going to tell you ahyway cause ik youre fonna find out either way 

**hyunjin:** i wantwd to talk to innie about him instigating that fight w ith jisung but i broached it wrong and he git mad and now i’m fucked

**hyunjin:** i’m sorry if we can’t hang out anymore

**felix:** hyunjin just cause you’re arguing with jeongin does not mean we are not friends anymore

**felix:** i am a separate entity from him and can have My Own Friends

**felix:** and he’s just super emotional lately so don’t take anything he said seriously, yeah? we’ve all noticed how defensive he’s been about everything. half the time i don’t think he even realizes what he says till after he says it.

**felix:** jin? buddy?

**hyunjin:** sorry i’m here

**hyunjin:** i’m scared

**hyunjin:** i don’t wanna lose you guys

**felix:** you’re not gonna lose anyone, it’s just the panic talking.

**felix:** do you want me to call you?

**hyunjin:** could you?

**felix:** yes!!! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y’all: OOOH EARLY UPDATE  
> y’all, after reading: Ah. Bastard Man.  
> anyways how did u guys like this chapter ??? a lot went down ik... but !!!! jeongin’s feelings reveal !!!!! felix getting beat up !!!!! jeongin drug test and strip search !!!!!! jisung and jeongin fight !!!!! hyunjin possibly confiding in felix !!!!!! what goes on !!!!!!  
> also i’m sorry fr not replying to comments lately i’ve been so busy but i’ll try to do it more !!!! each comment means the world 2 me i swear it fills me w sm joy i just HGGHJG  
> thank u sm fr reading and lmk wht u thought !!!!!! ilu guys and see u next week 💛💛


	23. rosey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i’ll take care of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‼️‼️ WARNING ‼️‼️  
> in the second narrative there is triggering content (implied sexual assault, panic attacks). there is no actual sexual assault, but simply a character retelling one that occurred. i will use ‘***’ to signify the content is ahead instead of the usual line breaks. please do not read it if you feel uncomfortable or feel it will trigger YOU as that is the last thing i want to happen. thank you and please stay safe.  
> \- xavier yananvation

**[NOVEMBER 25TH. 7:54 PM.]**

_**private chat: hyunjin and felix** _

**felix:** jinnie

 **felix:** give me

 **felix:** attention

 **felix:** BITCH

 **hyunjin:** yes sir what do you need sir

 **felix:** i’m w changbin rn and he’s sleeping on me so i cant reach the remote :( entertain me

 **hyunjin:** kkami keeps licking my feeties is that entertainment enough for u

 **felix:** thanks i hate it

 **felix:** changbin is so cute and tiny and Buff i want to keep him in my pocket forever!!!!! this isn’t fair!!!!!! >:(

 **hyunjin:** changbin manlet

 **felix:** hes MY manlet thank you very much 

**felix:** how is it going w jeongie btw

 **felix:** he’s been super depressed in the og trio gc :( i think he misses u

 **hyunjin:** i’m trying to work up the nerve to msg him but i’m scared i’ll mess up again

 **hyunjin:** he won’t look at me or sit near me if he has a choice 

**felix:** that’s cause he’s a dumbass and doesn’t know how to approach you without siking himself out

 **felix:** i’ll talk to him for u

 **felix:** he really cares abt u and he knows he was and still is being a grumpy little brat

 **hyunjin:** thank you but i’m also to blame cause i’ve sorta been avoiding him too?

 **hyunjin:** and i did start the argument in the first place

 **felix:** yeah it was pretty fucked of you to call him a martyr after the thing with jisung

 **felix:** both of you are to blame. there’s no use deflecting it or taking all of it on either

 **felix:** just wait for him to talk to you first. it seems like he won’t right now but this is eating away at him, trust me. he HATES hurting people he’s friends with... god put too much empathy in that mf

 **felix:** honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he forgave jisung let alone u so don’t even worry about it

 **hyunjin:** you really think he’d forgive jisung??

 **felix:** unless you hurt someone he cares about he’s willing to forgive almost anything dude

 **felix:** again, too much empathy to hold grudges.

 **felix:** he’s an aquarium after all

 **felix:** aquatic

 **felix:** AQUARIUS

 **felix:** autocorrect i will turn you off right now

 **hyunjin:** do you think he’ll forgive me for having a crush on him though

 **felix:** what

 **felix:** bro i

 **felix:** you don’t need forgiveness for having a crush on him. he’s not god

 **hyunjin:** but he looked angry

 **felix:** to be fair you called him a martyr after he had a major fight over a traumatic experience

 **felix:** he probably just misplaced the anger

 **felix:** i promise you he isn’t upset that you have a crush on him. just talk to him about it and you’ll see

 **hyunjin:** :(((

 **hyunjin:** okay i will

 **hyunjin:** thank you lix

 **felix:** np babey

* * *

_**private chat: felix and jeongin** _

**felix:** so when are you gonna stop being a pussy

 **jeongin:** never apparently

 **felix:** JUST TALK TO HIM

 **felix:** I CANNOT STAND YOU

 **felix:** yes it is difficult yes it is gonna suck ass but in the end it’ll work out!!!!! if you just sit here and mourn losses you haven’t even LOST yet you’re really gonna lose him!!!!!!!!!!

 **jeongin:** i love when you baby me it really makes me feel better

 **jeongin:** jokes aside i’m going to Attempt to tomorrow 

**jeongin:** brb chris needs my help w dinner

* * *

_**[NOVEMBER 26TH. 10:23 AM.]** _   
  


Jeongin couldn’t stomach this anymore. He couldn’t keep dodging Hyunjin’s heavy glances during lunch. He couldn’t keep avoiding him in the halls just to skulk back to his class 5 minutes late and wind up stuck in detention after school. And he definitely couldn’t keep thinking about how heartbroken Hyunjin had been that night. How his hair fell over his eyes in just the right way so Jeongin could only catch a glimpse of the growing wetness of his waterline. How fat globs of tears formed in the edges of his eyes till they slid down his blotchy cheeks. How his frail fingers trembled like leaves and his entire body seemed to cease all functioning. He wished he could go back, wished he could stop himself from being so damn defensive. He wished he could have just held on, just coaxed away the panic and the misunderstanding. But he couldn’t. It was too late.

“Hyunjin!” Jeongin called, promptly shoving past every nuisance bustling in his way so he could reach the other. He couldn’t pretend to ignore the way Hyunjin’s body grew rigid at the sound of his voice, the muscles of his back tensing through the thick fabric of his sweatshirt. He also couldn’t pretend something inside him didn’t ache at that either. “Hey, can- can we talk?”

Hyunjin stared back at him, eyes glassy and dull and entirely unamused by Jeongin’s presence. He felt... empty. A shell of the typical Hyunjin who would beam at him when he approached him. Who would giggle at his jokes and jeers and throw them right back at him with the same playful intensity. 

Hyunjin shrugged. 

Jeongin took that as as good as he’s gonna get. “Okay, uhm...” He started, heart thrumming in his ears. He distantly heard the bell ring, “Listen, I- I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I lashed out at you when you just wanted to call me out on my shit. And it was really low of me to say what I did...” He shrank in on himself as the memory bore itself back into his mind. It had been rewinding again and again for past few days till he was ready to shatter the proverbial tv screen inside him. “I’m sorry, Hyunjin, I’m so sorry.”

Hyunjin slammed his locker shut beside him, causing Jeongin to nearly leap out of his skin. He fought the urge to raise his hands to shield himself, had to remind himself that this was Hyunjin. Hyunjin, no matter how angry, would never hurt him. Still, he felt the fear rising in his throat, the acrid smell of desperation oozing from his pores and wafting into the air in smokelike tendrils. If Hyunjin didn’t accept his apology, that was okay, but if Hyunjin didn’t want to be around him anymore... He doesn’t know what he’d do. He adored Hyunjin, as a friend and as something more. He was dear to him in ways most people never have been. He didn’t know if he was ready to let that go yet.

“Hyunjin... Please,” He begged. He apprehensively lifted a hand, wrapping his fingers around Hyunjin’s ghastly thin bicep. He always scolded him for not eating enough, for not having enough meat on his bones. He always felt so fragile underneath his touch, like one stray flick of a wrist would make him furl like a touch me not. But now he felt the sturdiest he’s ever been, all because he was burning with betrayal towards Jeongin. “Please, talk to me...” He felt the break in his resolve, the cracking of his vocal chords striking something deep within him. He tried to smooth down the quivering of his lips, tried to will the tears back in their ducts. He took in a shaky breath, a breath that tore him apart from the inside out. “Baby, I- just say something, please, anything. I don’t care if you don’t forgive me just don’t- don’t stand there and stare at me like that.”

“I forgive you.” Hyunjin’s voice broke as he continued, “I’m sorry-“

Jeongin shut him up with a fierce pinch to his arm, “Don’t apologize! You didn’t do anything wrong.” He used his free hand to gently swipe away the tears collecting in Hyunjin’s lashes. “And stop crying, we can’t both be hot messes right now.” He gave him a weak smile, a wet giggle escaping him as he affectionately patted Hyunjin’s cheek. “No more crying for you, sweet boy.”

Hyunjin flushed that pretty pink color that had Jeongin seeing stars. He cooed as it shaded his original honey skin with a pale peony. He watched as Hyunjin’s features curled into a frown as he attempted to back himself out of Jeongin’s space. Jeongin, however, still had a loose hold of his sweatshirt. He fisted his hand into the baggy fabric, fingers subconsciously worrying the seams. “What’s wrong?”

“We- I... I can’t do this. Not when I- When I feel the things I do for you.” He couldn’t take his eyes off the musty floor, probably too frightened of Jeongin’s reaction. “And I know you don’t feel the same, which is why we... We should probably not touch as much or- or anything like that. I should have been more careful and-“

“Do you know how I figured it out?” Jeongin asked coolly. He rested his temple on the lockers, calculating and foxlike as he took in Hyunjin’s feeble state before him. “Tell me, do you know?”

Hyunjin flinched beneath the weight of his gaze. His voice came out like an ashamed whisper, like if he was quiet enough perhaps his humiliation would be just that much easier to swallow. “I was too obvious. It was my fault.”

Jeongin let out a small chuckle, “I guess that’s true. But you wanna know how I really found out?” He leaned in, a playful lilt to his voice. He knew he was being a tad cruel, but he couldn’t stand the tenseness between them any longer. He needed to lighten the mood even if he knew his next words were anything but a two ton bomb waiting to be dropped. “I told you that dopey look in your eyes gave it away. What’s funny, is I only recognized it because I have the same one when I look at you.” He then pulled back, releasing his grip on Hyunjin’s sleeve as the latter stood awestruck in front of him.

“Wh-What-“

Jeongin couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face at Hyunjin’s shock. He reached out to grasp his fingers, his own cheeks filling with that pretty pink to match Hyunjin’s. He shyly tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “We should get to class now,” Jeongin softly reminded, "We’re, like, 20 minutes late, I think.” He stalled for a moment to give Hyunjin one last smile, one dripping with sincerity and all the unspoken words he wished he could say to him. “I’ll see you later, yeah?” He let their fingers slip apart.

Hyunjin let out a baffled laugh, “Yeah, see you...” He lingered for a moment, eyes flitting between their separated hands. “Does this-“

“We should go, Hyunjin,” He urged, not wanting to earn both of them a detention after such a conversation. He shooed him away, landing a few powerless smacks to his shoulders to move him along.

“Hey, wait, can- can we walk home together today? Just us?” Hyunjin asked.

Jeongin tilted his head to the side in thought, tapping a finger to his chin. “Hm~ I suppose I can think about it.” He teased. He then broke into a wide grin, his lips stretching to the point it actually stung just a little. “Yeah, we totally can, but you gotta get to class first, dummy.”

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin:** hey hyunjin and i are walking home today

 **seungmin:** your house is 4 miles from the school

 **jeongin:** but hyunjin’s is only one ! :)

 **seungmin:** so u guys are talking again i take it

 **hyunjin:** ye 

**hyunjin:** almost got a detention cause of it ure lucky i like u jeongin

 **jeongin:** >:3

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and felix** _

**felix:** told you so

 **hyunjin:** thank you prophet lee

 **felix:** i expect compensation for dealing with both of your stupid bastard disorders

 **hyunjin:** don’t you have a fuck boy to be texting

 **felix:** DO NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY FRESH MATERIAL!!!!! HES NOT A FUCKBOY!!!!!!

 **hyunjin:** he has fuckboy energy

 **felix:** i’m blocking you

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and lucas** _

**hyunjin:** hey what does it mean when the boy you like says he only knew u liked him cause u looked at him a certain way and he only realized it cause he looks at u the same way

 **lucas:** hey bud what the fuck do you think it means

 **hyunjin:** I DONT KNOW CAUSE HE WOULDNT LET ME ASK

 **hyunjin:** he told me to get to class when i tried to cause we were late

 **hyunjin:** i’m. really really bad at understanding things when they’re not explicitly said and i don’t know if he was serious cause he sounded like he was joking 

**hyunjin:** like he laughed and i. h

 **lucas:** if he was fucking joking i’ll get on a plane rn and beat his ass istg idc if he’s younger than me i’ll do it

 **lucas:** just try asking him again and see what he says

 **hyunjin:** okay

 **hyunjin:** ill do it when we walk home together today

* * *

**[2:43 PM.]**

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**jeongin:** hey i’m gonna be out a little late is that alright

 **hyunjin:** yeah take ur time

 **jeongin:** okay !!!!! i’ll see u in 25 💛💛  
  


* * *

***  
  


“How’s Lucas doing?” Jeongin skipped up to Hyunjin, quickly falling into step beside him as they exited the front gates of the school. They were met with an autumn breeze, one that felt graceful and serene as it rustled the changing leaves overhead and gently bristled their cheeks. It painted a chilly red spot on the tips of their noses and highs of their cheeks. It was comfortable, the kind of cold where you snuggle up inside your jacket with a hot drink as you stroll through a park or watch the sunset. He wondered if Jeongin would like to do that with him one day, but kicked the thought from his mind as soon as it invaded his psyche.

He shrugged, “He’s good.” Lucas was more than good, he was ecstatic. He was blowing up Hyunjin’s phone half the day to gush about Yangyang and how they’re going to apply to the same colleges, or at least ones close enough to each other that they could visit. “Pretty annoying.”

Jeongin snorted at his curtness, giving him a sudden shove that made him stumble off the sidewalk. “Jeez, I didn’t even push you that hard!” He laughed, a hand coming up to find purchase on the small of his back to steady him. It sent a shiver up his spine, even through the heavy fabric of his sweatshirt it felt electric.

Their conversation fizzled out after that, the only things permeating the comfortable silence being the crunching of the leaves under their sneakers and the occasional car whizzing by. Hyunjin stole a glance over at Jeongin, curiosity getting the better of him. Jeongin’s hair was windswept, messy strands calling out to him to just comb his fingers through them. Like sirens to sailors, it was near impossible to resist such an opportunity. 

Hyunjin brushed the hair out of Jeongin’s eyes, sweeping it off his forehead to reveal a crimson flush. Jeongin hid his mouth behind his hand, turning his head to the side to obscure his view. Hyunjin grinned, taking a liking to the way the sun hit his skin to turn the harsh red into a feeble pastel pink. The way he could just barely make out the upturning of Jeongin’s pretty lips. Times like this he wished he had the same skillset as Jeongin. Wished he could paint this moment onto a canvas so it’d never leave his mind. 

Jeongin’s bright eyes were then cast downwards so he could kick a pebble along. It skittered a couple feet in front of them, earning a quiet cheer from the other.

Hyunjin suppressed a giggle at his actions. He was so childlike at times, the complete opposite of what others have come to know. He was cute, like when he fiddles with his sleeves when he’s shy or puffs out his cheeks when he wants something. He was grumpy and bratty, like when Hyunjin embarrassed him in the library or when Chan babied him in the lunch room. He was creative and bright and so many other things that people haven’t had the pleasure of knowing.

Hyunjin’s eyes found themselves on Jeongin’s hands. They had stains on them, as they typically did these days. It was charcoal, if he remembered correctly. He recalled Jeongin gushing on the phone one night about how he loved using them more than any other medium. He also recalled the pout in his voice as he told him Chan always scolded him for getting colorful fingerprints all over the house. Unfortunately, that also stirred up the thought of _‘I wonder if he’ll ever leave a mark on me like that.’_ Not in the weird way, of course, but just a pretty blue fingerprint on his shirt or something. A way of showing that Jeongin was there and he was a permanent fixture in his life whether or not Hyunjin tried to scrub him out of it.

A question sprung into his mind then, “Why is everyone so scared of you?”

Jeongin seemed just as perplexed by the inquiry as Hyunjin was. He definitely wasn’t supposed to ask that of all things. “Oh, well... I guess it’s more of a respect thing? Uhm...” He trailed off, guarded eyes surveying the area around them. “Come here.” He grabbed onto to Hyunjin’s sweater, fingers twisting into the fabric as he led them off the walkway and towards the curb. Jeongin released him then sank down to perch himself on the curb. Hyunjin copied him, leaving a couple inches between the two. “Sorry, I just feel like this shouldn’t be done while walking. I can’t tell who’s listening.”

Hyunjin nodded, “Is it something bad?”

“I guess so.” He shrugged, “Depends on who you ask, really...” He gulped, eyes darting towards Hyunjin. He licked a stripe across his bottom lip, moistening it before sinking his teeth into the flesh. “I was arrested once.”

“I would call that bad,” Hyunjin remarked, though he was only joking. He trusted that whatever he did had a reason, he wasn’t one to just... Do things without mulling over the repercussions.

Jeongin whined in discontent at his words, bringing his knees to his chest. He looked so tiny like that, so delicate. Like the breeze itself would smash him to pieces. He found it odd how in the beginning, he viewed Jeongin as this pillar of strength, like he was something unbreakable. But now he saw all the sides of him; his vulnerabilities, his insecurities, and his overwhelming desire to be needed. He saw the boy beneath the scowls and fake smiles, heard his plights and relieved his stresses. He’d seen his sorrow and his glee, his laughter and his tears.

“It’s not what you think, I promise!” He exclaimed. Jeongin’s eyebrows furrowed in worry, the corners of his lips tugged down into a frown. “It was- It was complicated.”

“How so?”

“I-“ He huffed in exasperation, “Fuck, I hate explaining things.” Hyunjin’s eyes darted down to Jeongin’s fingers. He was picking at the skin as he considered his words, small droplets of blood prickling above the surface of his skin. Hyunjin guessed this is what he did when he didn’t have sleeves to tug at. “We had this... This neighbor, right? We lived next to him for, like, ever and he was good friends with my parents.” Jeongin sucked in a sudden breath, slowly letting it out through his nose. “He, uhm, he hurt Chris. Like really bad. I came home from school and I saw him, Chris, all- Uh, he was bleeding and he had bruises everywhere and I, I just lost it, yknow? Next thing I knew I was next door and I couldn’t stop- I couldn’t stop hitting him.” He was breathing heavily now, almost hyperventilating as he recounted the incident. He looked frenzied, eyes wild and stained red around the edges. He looked halfway to a panic attack. _Wait, shit-_ “The cops had to haul me off him. They brought me to the station, but he, he didn’t wanna press charges... He said he deserved it, for what he did...” Jeongin grit his teeth, jaw clenched and veins pulsing underneath the thin layer of skin of his neck. “If he... If he knew it was wrong though, why did he do it? He- He just- I-“ He stopped himself from continuing, pressing his lips in a thin line. His hands were trembling, wobbly fingers roughly wiping away tears as they streamed down his cheeks. “It happened a few years ago, but everyone knows about it. It was all over the news and... People talk. Some say I killed him, some say I put him in a coma... But it’s all bullshit. He’s in prison. No trial, he pled guilty.”

Hyunjin didn’t know how to react. He didn’t know if he should comfort Jeongin, who was breaking down on a dingy curb. Or if he should validate what he did, because, fuck, if Hyunjin had been in that situation he would have done the same.

“You don’t have to say anything, I know it’s a lot.” Jeongin sniffed, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. “It fucked me up really bad for awhile. I still- I still have nightmares sometimes.” He let out a bitter laugh, “It didn’t even- It didn’t happen to me, but I was affected like this?” 

“You went through a trauma, Innie, it’s normal to-“

“I couldn’t even hug my parents till last year because of it! I can’t even touch you or Felix or Seungmin whenever I want because I feel, I feel so gross! I feel like I need to rip my skin off or, or burn it away till there’s nothing left! I... I...” His voice dwindled into a sob as he finally succumbed to the attack. His breathing grew into rapid pants, hysterical cries pouring from his mouth. “I see it whenever I close my eyes! I see what he did to Chris!”

“Innie-“ Hyunjin tried, moving so he was knelt in front of his shuddering figure. “Innie, you’re okay. It’s just a panic attack-“

“I know what it is!” He shouted. His hands flew to his scalp. He desperately clutched clumps of hair in his fists, tugging at them violently as he screwed his eyes shut.

“Hey, hey, don’t do that.” Hyunjin reached out to pry his hands away, but stopped himself when Jeongin lurched away from the incoming touch. He remembered something then, something Jeongin had done when Hyunjin had his first panic attack at school. “Innie, can you do something for me?”

Jeongin shook his head frantically, curling in on himself further as his body ripped another pained sob from his lungs. Hyunjin wasn’t deterred, though, he knew how terrifying these were. How you couldn’t breathe and how you felt like you lost all control. He wasn’t about to let Jeongin suffer through it without at least attempting to help.

“That’s okay, can you just listen to me then? Can you do that for me?” He gently prodded, tilting his head to try to meet Jeongin’s eyes. He shied away yet again, but nodded slowly.

“Okay, okay...” Hyunjin swallowed nervously, but thinking over all the ways this could go awry isn’t going to aid either of them. “Your name is Jeongin Bang. You’re sitting on the curb on Sonders Street. It’s November 29th 2019. And you’re with me, Hyunjin Hwang. You’re safe and nothing can hurt you.” He repeated that those facts like a mantra, chanting them over and over till Jeongin’s hands slipped from his hair and his sobs turned to soft heaves. 

“Hyunjin?” He croaked. He lifted his head for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Hyunjin had to bite back a gasp. His cheeks were pale and sullen, like the crying sucked all the life from his fragile form. His hair was a mess, tufts of it knotted and sticking out in all directions. His lips were quivering, torn raw and bloody from all the chewing. 

“Yeah?” He breathed, forcing himself back to reality. He kept his distance still, but shuffled a little closer to hear him better. He made sure his hands were in full view of Jeongin’s eyes at all times, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

“Can we go? Don’t wanna be here anymore...” He sniffled, a hiccup falling from his lips as he attempted to stand. He wavered for a moment, knees buckling under his weight. Hyunjin quickly shot up and looped an arm around his waist, pressing him flush to his side to hold him up.

“I got you, don’t worry,” He coaxed, trying his best not to touch his skin. He had noticed awhile back that when he was triggered, he would still be okay with some contact through clothing, but skin on skin was a huge no-no. Still, this was a lot even through the protection of clothes. He was scared it was too much for him. “Is this alright?”

Jeongin leaned into him, eyelids fluttering closed as he weakly clung to his sweater. His nails tore at the threads, but Hyunjin didn’t mind a bit. “Not worried... It’s fine...” He whispered, “Please, just take me- Take me to your place. Can’t be here anymore.” His sentences were fragmented, voice broken and raspy from the effort it took to speak.

“Will do, Innie. I’ll take care of you, okay? Just relax.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> legally no one can complain abt my usual late updates because i gave y’all early ones two weeks in a row  
> also i’m a fucking idiot and had 2 reupload sry legends  
> anyways this chap might be kinda confusing but confessions ! and hyunjin being dumb ! and trauma ! yay ! i cannot fucking remember wht i have next in my plot doc so either it’s more weird pining / fluff or more trauma who knows  
> how did y’all feel abt this update ? PLEASE lmk wht u thought in the comments cause i’m rly iffy abt how this chapter is. i’m always worried i’m too vague w my writing and it goes over everyone’s heads cause i didn’t explain it well enough. also i hope this being mainly narrative rn is chill cause i didn’t realize how Long i made them lmao  
> thank u sm fr reading and have a great week !!!! 💛💛💛


	24. angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU MEAN TO SEND THIS TO ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‼️‼️ SOME DESCRIPTIONS OF BULLYING AND SELF HARM IN SECOND NARRATIVE AND TEXT CONVOS AFTER ‼️‼️

**[DECEMBER 1ST. 1:07 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**hyunjin:** guys i learned a new english word today

 **felix:** proud of u

 **seungmin:** what is it

 **hyunjin:** effervescent

 **felix:** alright edward cullen who taught you that one

 **hyunjin:** :( is it bad

 **jeongin:** no its just part of a meme dw

 **jeongin:** proud of you for learning it thts a big ass word that i still cannot spell without autocorrect

 **hyunjin:** ty!!!!

 **hyunjin:** it means something happy right

 **seungmin:** brb let me google the definition

 **felix:** i thought it meant smth beautiful

 **jeongin:** idk i cant remember

 **jeongin:** got dumb bitch disease

 **seungmin:** I GOT IT

 **seungmin:** it means something bubbly and lively

 **seungmin:** like an effervescent personality is a bright and bubbly one

 **hyunjin:** thank u big brain seungmin

**[2:22 PM.]**   
  


**jeongin:** hey clowns i’m staying after school for the next few days so don’t bother waiting up for me

 **felix:** DID UOU GET DETENTION AGAIN????

 **jeongin:** nah

 **jeongin:** just have Stuff and Things to do

 **hyunjin:** but my backseat buddy :(

 **jeongin:** we still have the mornings <3

* * *

**[5:31 PM.]**

_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**jeongin:** today is the day i die i’m fucking done for

 **felix:** what’s up??

 **jeongin:** so i’m working on stuff for my portfolio right and i hear a sound outside the art room door

 **jeongin:** and here i am, covered head to toe in pastel charcoal looking like a high circus clown vomited up turkey hill party cake ice cream on me

 **jeongin:** and i fucking see

 **jeongin:** hyunjin through the gap in the door

 **jeongin:** HE SHOULD BE HOME !!!!! WHY IS HE HERE IN MY DOMAIN !!!!!!!!!!! BEGONE !!!!!!!!

 **jeongin:** he doesn’t know i’m here yet cause i fucking DIPPED into the closet and now i’m :’) cause i left my canvas out there and the most embarrassing thing about it is it’s a piece w his fucking face in it smack dab in the center

 **seungmin:** oh you are so screwed

 **jeongin:** THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT IM FULLY AWARE OF MY LEVEL OF FUCKED RN

 **felix:** uh

 **felix:** check quad gc

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**hyunjin:** hey what does it mean when there’s a painting (?) of you but you don’t know who made it

 **seungmin:** hyunjin mona lisa confirmed

 **hyunjin:** i’m serious

 **hyunjin:** idk who made it but it’s lowkey creeping me out

 **hyunjin:** like i’m flattered ig but i don’t Know who painted it. it could be a total stranger or a stalker

 **felix:** idk it could be one if ur friends

 **hyunjin:** none of my friends are into art besides jeongin and he’s busy, remember?

 **hyunjin:** nnnn i’m nervous

 **jeongin:** don’t be, okay? you’re alright. it’s probably just a misunderstanding

 **jeongin:** and if it is a stalker or someone freaky we’ll protect u

 **jeongin:** no one fucks w our boy

 **hyunjin:** thank u innie

 **hyunjin:** tht makes me feel better but i should def beat it before they come back

 **hyunjin:** i don’t wanna be caught alone with them

 **seungmin:** stay safe

 **felix:** let us know if u want us to come back and pick u up

 **hyunjin:** ❤️❤️

* * *

_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**jeongin:** that was the single worst moment of my life and i’ve literally listened to astronauts entire discography

 **felix:** please stop making fun of your own brothers band

 **jeongin:** when they start making good music maybe i will

 **felix:** THEY DO MAKE GOOD MUSIC SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **jeongin:** minho barks in a song

 **jeongin:** hes not the txt boys he can’t get away w furry antics on main

 **jeongin:** anyways my piece being called creepy </3

 **felix:** i’m sorry bro

 **seungmin:** idk why you didn’t just tell him it was you

 **seungmin:** it would’ve been easier

 **jeongin:** i will when it’s complete

 **jeongin:** i’m not all fucked up abt it cause i also would be creeped out by smth like tht if i didn’t know who was behind it

 **jeongin:** just a wee bruise to me ego

 **jeongin:** i think it’s good enough for my portfolio tho

 **seungmin:** didn’t you finish tht during the summer

 **jeongin:** technically yeah

 **jeongin:** but i kept it in my locker and then. yknow

 **felix:** Ah.

 **felix:** i thought you didn’t wanna do art

 **jeongin:** wanna be an art therapist by mom wants me to be an artist so i figured why not appease her for now then rebel later

 **felix:** :( we’re supposed to go to tht sexy sexy psych college together tho

 **jeongin:** AND WE WILL

 **jeongin:** she just has to think i’m applying for art schools

 **seungmin:** my parents still want me to be a doctor

 **jeongin:** don’t u wanna be a social worker

 **seungmin:** yeah but they keep telling me it’s not worth it

 **seungmin:** that my caseload will be too stressful and it’ll damage my mental stability and yadda yadda BULLSHIT i just wanna help kids

 **seungmin:** the system is trash in australia and it’s trash here and i wanna attempt to make it at least a little better for kids

 **seungmin:** i don’t want them to go through what we had to

 **seungmin:** i just wish they supported me, yknow?

 **jeongin:** i think their concern is just misplaced

 **jeongin:** they’re worried you’ll get frustrated and triggered cause of the hardships of the job. which is understandable considering you know firsthand how fucked everything is

 **jeongin:** they support you and they’re def proud of you for wanting to go down this path

 **jeongin:** they just don’t want it to destroy you along the way

 **seungmin:** i guess you’re right

 **seungmin:** i’m still gonna do it though. as long as i have you guys backing me up i don’t think anything can deter me from this

 **felix:** seungie i love u

 **jeongin:** we’ll always be there for you

* * *

**[DECEMBER 2ND. 2:35 AM.]**

_**private chat: jeongin and hyunjin** _

**hyunjin:** inniiieeeeee

 **jeongin:** yeth

 **hyunjin:** i’m bored :(

 **jeongin:** i’m not :) goodnight

 **hyunjin:** NO PLEASE I CANT SLEEP

 **jeongin:** want me to call you ?

 **hyunjin:** would you mind??

 **jeongin:** no

 **jeongin:** i like talking to you

 **jeongin:** your voice is smexy even when you’re yelling at me about the latest netflix docuseries at 4 am

 **hyunjin:** listen. you shouldn’t have given me your netflix acc if you didn’t want this

 **hyunjin:** also don’t say the word smexy to me again i think i’ll vomit

 **jeongin:** shut up and call me bitch

* * *

“Where were you today after school? I wanted to try that new smoothie place with you!” Hyunjin whined, knowing full well he was being a brat for the fun of it. What, a boy can’t be a little nasty? A little curious in the sorta mean but hopefully adoring way?

“I told you I’d be busy the next couple weeks, silly boy.” Which he did, in fact, do, but Hyunjin was nosy and he couldn’t help wondering the reason. Felix and Seungmin both seemed unbothered by it, and a sour part of him said it was probably because they already knew why.

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me what for~”

“Chris just wanted some input on the new music he’s working on. With Jisung gone, they need a new rap and vocal sub. I volunteered, so.”

“You can rap  and sing?” He guffawed, shooting upright in his bed. His covers fell from his front, but he was too shocked to care about the cold blistering his skin or the jolt of Kkami startling awake with an irritated yip. Okay, maybe he did care about that last part a little.

He’d only heard Jeongin sing a handful of times, mostly upon request by the other boys and sometimes when Hyunjin’s fretful mind wouldn’t let his body rest in the early hours of the morning. He thought Jeongin sounded like an angel, like the gods themselves blessed him with the prettiest voice in all the land after a deed well done. He idly wondered what it would be like if Jeongin sang to him in person, and only him. Breathy voice languidly flowing from his lungs, honeysuckle sweet as his lips formed around each syllable. He was enamored by the mere thought of it, utterly besotted.

“Mhm! I used to perform with them sometimes when the venues weren’t, like, hella crazy.”

“I wanna hear you rap! I’ve only heard you sing before! Please, please, Innie? Just one bar, bro, please, bro, I promise,” He suppressed a giggle at his own words.

“Shut up! You’re gonna make me ugly cackle.” Hyunjin could hear the gurgled snickers through the static of the phone. He tamped down the urge to quip a ‘too late!’.

“I will block Lucas for 24 hours for just one bar.”

“Die.”

“Fine, maybe I will!” He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance and flopping back dramatically onto his pillows with a huff. Jeongin definitely couldn’t see him, but he hoped the violent rustling of his comforter and his loud ‘hmph!’ got the point across. Kkami had ditched him for it, after all. 

“What, before hearing a demo of me rapping?”

“Wh-“

“I won’t do it live like this... I’m not confident enough for that, but I have a rough demo from, like, a month ago Chris and I were working on. I can send you that, maybe...” Hyunjin would kill to see the bashful little face Jeongin was making right now. how his cheeks were probably alight with a pink flush, practically glowing in the dim light of his bedroom. How his lips were probably pursed in a pout and his nose delicately crinkled. His voice was so small, a meager sound. And he had an inkling that maybe, just maybe, he was hiding his expression in his pillow. But that was totally just a hunch and not because he heard Jeongin’s voice get all muffly like how it does when he hides his face in Hyunjin’s sweatshirts. An adorable newly discovered habit that Hyunjin is currently dying from, but that dilemma was for another night.

“Yes, please, Innie!”

“Ugh, I can’t say no when you call me that~”

“What? Innie?” He prodded, a smirk tugging on the corners of his lips. “Does Innie like being called that? Hm? Hm? In-”

“Don’t be a dick!” Jeongin screeched on the other line. 

Hyunjin laughed, a resounding, belly busting type of laugh that reverberated off his dingy walls. He never used to laugh like that, save for the scarce occasions he was able to call Lucas these days. But with Jeongin... With Jeongin he would chase that out of him till he was choking on his own spit. Jeongin brought a lot of things out of him, a lot of good things.

“Hey, it’s not as embarrassing as you calling me ‘sweet boy’ in public!” Whenever he called him that, he would practically melt into a lumpy puddle of mush at his feet. He was putty in Jeongin’s hands whenever he trilled a ‘sweet boy~’, even if it was just to mess with his feeble heart. He was a simple man, a simple boy.

“Do you not like it...?” Jeongin suddenly sounded much less confident than before. Like he was self conscious.

“Huh? No, I do! I- I really like it... It just makes me, uhm, makes me feel weird and I, I-“

“I can stop doing it, Hyunjin, it’s okay.” He sounded... defeated. No, maybe disappointed? Maybe both? 

“No!” 

“No?”

“No, please- Please, keep doing it. It... It makes me feel special.” It was Hyunjin’s turn to bury his face into his pillows, cheeks steaming and a sheepish whimper clogging his throat. 

“You are special.” Jeongin hadn’t sounded this serious throughout the entire call. It made a question pop into Hyunjin’s head, one he could regret, but one that he foolishly couldn’t resist. His hubris, like a moth to a bright light before it zapped the life out of it.

“Hey, Innie?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you talk to other people the way you talk to me?” There. The million dollar question, the make or break. 

There was a pause, “How do you mean?”

Oh. He didn’t expect Jeongin to want details... “Like, uh, like the nicknames and- Sorry, it’s dumb. Forget it.” He couldn’t help scrunching his face as he winced to himself. He’s so stupid, thinking Jeongin actually valued him-

“I don’t.”

“You don’t?” _Say it. Please, just say it. Don’t lie to me, don’t string me along anymore-_

“I don’t talk to anyone else in the way I talk to you.”

Hyunjin was... dazed, to say the least. He had thoroughly convinced himself this was a game to Jeongin. That it was a joke, a dare, whatever you wanna call it. That it was absurd to believe Jeongin actually held him in anything close to high esteem. That Jeongin would play around with him like a doll till he inevitably grew bored and started treating him like normal again.

Hyunjin realized he’d been silent for too long, further emphasized by Jeongin’s awkward clearing of his throat. He floundered for a response, “That’s, that’s good... I mean- Yeah. It’s good.” He breathed. He couldn’t help the sigh of relief that pushed past his lips.

“What made you think I did?”

“Nothing, I was just curious.”

“I see.” He responded tersely. He could practically see the thin line Jeongin had pressed his lips into.

“You okay, Jeongin?”

“Mmm~?” He purred, “I’m just sleepy, no worries.” Most likely a half truth. He didn’t want to push it though, knowing better than to poke a sleeping lion.

“Should I let you go?”

“If you want to,” He responded airily, seemingly half asleep already.

“Oh...”

Jeongin let out an exasperated groan, “Hyunjin, if you want to stay on the line while we sleep, it’s okay.” He snapped, but then his voice wavered. It dipped into a gentler, more solemn tone. It felt careful, like when you spook an animal and you’re trying to regain that trust you had lost. “Sorry, I get cranky when I’m tired... I- I’d like it, if we stayed on the line together.”

“Are you sure?” He pressed.

“Absolutely.”

“Okay, okay...” Hyunjin sank his teeth into his lip, thrown off by Jeongin’s burst of frustration. He wasn’t used to it being aimed at him, didn’t know how to react when it wasn’t in his defense. He guessed that’s why he backtracked like that. “Uhm, real quick- Do you, maybe, wanna come over tomorrow? Or technically today...”

“Gosh, you’re so nervous~ It’s just me, dummy!” He went back to normal, even laughing as he threw a half hearted jab at him. “And yeah, sure. I miss my boy.”

Hyunjin’s heart leapt in his throat, “Your boy?” He croaked.

“My baby boy Kkami~ I haven’t seen that little rat man in forever. Wanna give him all the kisses in the world!” _Oh, that makes more sense_. His heart, as well as his hopes, slammed back down to earth. He should have known better.

“Don’t call him a rat! He’s just small!”

“Yeah, yeah~ I guess I miss cuddling with you too, but that’s irrelevant now.”

“Wh- Hey!” His face flushed, cheeks burning red as he sputtered. “No- No fair!”

“Shh, so loud!” Jeongin chided, but there was a smile leaking into his voice. “Rowdy boy.”

“You’re mean.” Hyunjin jutted out his bottom lip, hoping his pout was evident from the childish lilt of his words.

Jeongin chuckled, “I’m gonna try to sleep now, yeah?”

“Yeah, alright... Goodnight, Jeongie.”

“Goodnight, Hyunjinnie.” 

Wait- _Hyunjinnie_? He’d never called Hyunjin anything like that before. He never made up nicknames that had to do with his actual name. It was always variants of ‘*adjective* boy’ and the occasional teasing ‘baby~’ saved specifically for moments like when hyunjin lost a video game and he didn’t want him to be a sore loser about it. It was just wrong to hear anything besides that! Well, it wasn’t wrong. Yeah, it definitely wasn’t wrong considering his stomach was blooming with butterflies and he was choking back a girly squeal of delight. He’s going to be the death of him, he really is.

A couple minutes passed, Hyunjin’s heartbeat slowed and he felt himself on the edge of slumber. He was there, toeing the line between sweet bliss and-

“Hyunjin?” Jeongin’s tentative voice rang out. He almost sounded shocked he spoke.

“Mm...” Hyunjin groaned in anguish, but shifted so he was close enough to his phone to hear him without strain. He waited for him to continue, desperately clinging to the final threads of consciousness.

“I wish you were here with me,” Jeongin whispered, voice a little too far away for it to just be his mind playing tricks.

“I wish I was there too, angel,” He couldn’t tell if he said that out loud or not. If he was already dreaming or if this was reality, it was all too fuzzy. He thought he heard Jeongin suck in a breath through the phone, but was already succumbing to the siren song of sleep once again. He figured it was future him’s problem, present him was pretty busy at the moment.

* * *

**[5:43 AM.]**

_**group chat: god’s mistake** _

**jeongin:** hi i’m on the phone w hyunjin but i had to mute cause i’m having a meltdown and i don’t need him waking up in the middle of my fruity business

 **felix:** please stop calling your gay episodes fruity business

 **jeongin:** pay me and maybe i will

 **felix:** for 8k a month i will make jeongin shut up forever

 **seungmin:** i’ll give you 80k

 **jeongin:** fine you fakes

* * *

_**private chat: jeongin and minho** _

**jeongin:** hyunjin called me angel and now i cant stop shaking

 **minho:** WHAT

 **minho:** DID YOU MEAN TO SWND THIS TI ME

 **jeongin:** yes

 **jeongin:** felix and seungmin are being mean to me and i can’t take tht rn cause Oh Fuck The Guy I Like Called Me Angel And It Is 6 AM

 **jeongin:** IT WASNT EVEN THRU TEXT !!!!!!!

 **minho:** HE SAID IT OUT LOUD??!!?!?!?!

 **minho:** AND YOU ARENT DATING???!!!

 **jeongin:** YES !!!!! AND NO !!!!!!!!

 **minho:** jeongie, do you want to date him?

 **jeongin:** i can feel the dad voice

 **jeongin:** i do.

 **jeongin:** he’s silly and cute and he feels safe and homey and i can’t VIBE like this min

 **jeongin:** if i am to vibe it must be WITH him. i can no longer vibe solo 😔😔😔

 **minho:** stop talking about vibes i’m normal

 **minho:** he knows you like him, right?

 **jeongin:** we confessed to each other already

 **minho:** and...?

 **jeongin:** and NOTHING we haven’t spoken abt it since

 **jeongin:** we’re not avoiding each other and it’s not awkward or anything so idk what’s happening

 **jeongin:** ig he’s not ready to make us official or smth ? i’m gonna respect it either way

 **jeongin:** ppl r still mean to him at school even though bitches (i’m bitches) WILL vandalize their cars

 **jeongin:** and he’s not out yet. you know how bad felix got it when he came out despite you guys being there too

 **minho:** question him about it next time you talk to him. i don’t want you to be someone’s dirty little secret

 **minho:** and do not vandalize anyone’s cars. you may be rich but you are not above me beating you with a steel pipe

 **jeongin:** thanks ?

 **jeongin:** anyways i’m going to sleep

 **jeongin:** don’t tell any of this to chris

 **minho:** he is in my bed right now

 **jeongin:** don’t say it like that

 **minho:** he is in my area of slumber at this period of time

 **minho:** hold on did you stay up all night

 **minho:** JEONGIN IT IS 6 AM

 **minho:** JEONGIN BANG I WILL NARC ON YOU RN

 **jeongin:** to who ? the insomniac ?

 **minho:** .

 **minho:** to changbin.

 **jeongin:** GOODNIGHT

* * *

**[11:02 AM.]**

_**private chat: lucas and hyunjin** _

**lucas:** tfw u wake up in a cold sweat only to see your cat staring at you from your closet with your entire shoe in her mouth

 **hyunjin:** i think that’s hers now actually

 **hyunjin:** also i fell asleep with jeongin on the phone and woke up and the call ended and he didn’t text me or anything saying he hung up

 **lucas:** one of u prolly hung up in ur sleep on accident it’s not tht deep

 **hyunjin:** yeah but also i called him angel last night before i slipped into a coma so

 **lucas:** you HUH

 **lucas:** sir

 **lucas:** you are not dating him

 **hyunjin:** I KNOWWWW

 **hyunjin:** that’s why i think he did it on purpose cause he didn’t know how to respond or let me down easy :(((

 **lucas:** just wait and see what he says

 **hyunjin:** hghhjg what if i weirded him out???

 **hyunjin:** he doesn’t. like me like that

 **lucas:** you didn’t ask him what you guys are yet did you

 **hyunjin:** no there was no reason to

 **lucas:** moron

* * *

**[12:59 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin:** some asshole named me forgot to plug my phone into the charger last night

 **felix:** get fucked

 **seungmin:** my mom is trying to convince my dad to let us get a fish tank

 **jeongin:** fishies

 **felix:** the f in seungmin stands for fish friends

 **jeongin:** get a frog

 **seungmin:** no

 **jeongin:** but.... it could be ur gf (good frog).... or ur bf (bad frog)......

 **seungmin:** where is hyunjin

 **seungmin:** please save me 

**hyunjin:** awakened

 **hyunjin:** get a fish and a frog

 **seungmin:** you people are a plague

* * *

**[5:45 PM.]**

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**jeongin:** bastard do u wanna go to a pottery place tonight

 **hyunjin:** are seungmin and felix coming with

 **jeongin:** nah just me and you

 **jeongin:** unless u want me to invite them

 **hyunjin:** no no that’s okay

 **hyunjin:** will you still come over to my place after??

 **jeongin:** duh

 **jeongin:** you can’t escape me coward

 **jeongin:** also

_[JEONGIN SENT AN AUDIO FILE]_

**jeongin** : here’s the track i promised

 **jeongin** : igtg beg chris for 20 bucks i’ll brb

 **hyunjin** : INNIE

 **hyunjin** : INNIE THIS IS SO GOOD

 **hyunjin** : BRO

 **hyunjin** : THIS FUCKS

 **hyunjin** : SOTY!!!!!!!!!

 **hyunjin** : VOCALIST AND RAPPER OF THE CENTURY

 **jeongin** : SHUT UPPPP

 **jeongin** : i’m coming 2 get u in 30 be ready bitch

 **jeongin:** gonna paint some fuckin ceramics and you’re gonna LIKE IT

 **hyunjin** : not @ me rn playing tht track on repeat while i get ready

* * *

“You have fun today?” Jeongin asked as he watched Hyunjin crumple onto the sofa and his face smushed into the cushions. “Awfully exhausted for someone who just painted a llama for two hours.” He nudged Hyunjin’s leg with his knee, earning a groan and a carelessly aimed hand flailed in his general direction. Jeongin rolled his eyes, scoffing at him as he cracked his knuckle on the coffee table. “Deserved.”

Hyunjin flipped onto his back, a whimper falling from his lips as he pitifully rubbed the soreness out of his finger. “Why does painting suck so much? Mine looked like shit compared to yours!” He whined, spastically kicking his feet into the air like a toddler having a tantrum. “I should just smash the bitch when I get it back.”

“Then I’ll have to kill you,” Jeongin deadpanned. 

He wholeheartedly disagreed with Hyunjin’s sentiment, he thought his lilac llama was a masterpiece that belonged in galleries that catered to those with the utmost prestige. He’d host one just for the purpose of showing it off if he could. Dare he say, it was Hyunjin’s magnum opus. 

“I thought it was nice, Hyunjinnie.” He sat himself on top of Hyunjin’s calves, ignoring the grunt of disapproval from his new seat even as he bucked his knees up to try to get rid of him.

Jeongin cackled, hands gripping onto the denim of Hyunjin’s jeans so he wouldn’t be sent flying. He stole a glance towards him, noting the way his shirt rode up to reveal a pale stripe of skin. It kept rising, more and more being unveiled unbeknownst to Hyunjin himself. Then something caught Jeongin’s eye, something that didn’t sit right. “Hyunjin,” he started, “Hyunjin, baby...” Without a second thought, he reached out to graze his fingers along the raised skin. The bumpy lines foreign yet all too familiar underneath his fingertips.

“Don’t!” Hyunjin hissed, crudely slapping Jeongin’s hand away. He roughly tugged his shirt back down to cover himself, breathing hard and fast as he fought back the tears pooling in his eyes. 

Jeongin cursed, the sting of the strike making his own eyes water. Hyunjin seemed to notice, a gasp leaving him as he too muttered curses to himself. His breathing became more erratic, jumbled apologies cascading from his lips as he stamped down the urge to sob.

“Hey, hey, Hyunjinnie, it’s okay,” Jeongin soothed. He shifted so he was straddling one of Hyunjin’s thighs. His hands quickly found purchase on Hyunjin’s wet cheeks, wiping away droplets of salty tears before they had the chance to drift down his cheeks. “Sweet boy, I promise it’s alright. I was just surprised.”

“I’m sorry-“ He sniffled, trembling fingers encasing Jeongin’s own. He leaned into his palms, puffy cheeks squished and eyes scrunched shut to quell the tears. “I don’t- No one knows about them...”

“I understand, I shouldn’t have touched them like that. That’s my fault and I’m sorry.” Jeongin leaned down to brush the tip of his nose against the apple of Hyunjin’s cheek. He nuzzled into the pillowy skin, ignoring the dampness accumulating on both of their faces. They were chest to chest like this, heart beats thumping dangerously fast against one another as their bodies melded together. It was intimate, maybe too much so, but Jeongin wasn’t too parsed to care. 

Hyunjin giggled, soft puffs of air fanning Jeongin’s face. “That tickles, Innie,” He whispered, breaking out into a toothy grin as Jeongin chuckled along with him. They fell into a fit of hushed laughter, cheeks pressed together as their smiles cut lines into them. 

Jeongin then rested his head in the junction of Hyunjin’s neck and shoulder. He let out a sigh of contentment, hands finding themselves splayed across Hyunjin’s chest. A thought sprung to his mind, a risky thought that made Jeongin’s skin prickle. He found himself gripping Hyunjin’s hand, heat spreading through his body like someone injected hot oil directing into his blood stream. His heart pumped the scalding liquid through his veins, to his vital organs, boiling him from the inside out as he led Hyunjin’s hand to his waistband. He slipped their linked hands below it, the touch singeing the hairs along his leg before he stopped at his outer right thigh.

He heard Hyunjin suck in a breath, a wheeze even. H e knew he felt it, the nauseatingly marred and gnarled tissue. The divots and chunks of missing flesh and skin. The skin he can’t bear to look at in the mirror even after all these years. He then lifted his head from where it was nestled in Hyunjin’s neck. He gave him a wobbly smile, a pathetic and deflated thing. “Fair is fair, isn’t it?”

* * *

**[10:23 PM.]**

_** private chat: hyunjin and jeongin ** _

**jeongin:** i’m sorry i couldn’t stay the night

**jeongin:** i didn’t wanna leave you alone :(

**hyunjin:** ill be alright

**jeongin:** can i ask smth

**hyunjin:** yeah

**jeongin:** do you still hurt yourself ? at all ?

**hyunjin:** no, i stopped doing that months ago.

**hyunjin:** i found better ways to cope

**hyunjin:** i’ve thought about it from time to time though,,, i’ve had a few days where i was positive i’d relapse

**jeongin:** i’m proud of you.

**jeongin:** you’re so strong, yknow that ? i feel like i’ve said that so many times but you really are

**jeongin:** i wish i was still there with you

**jeongin:** i wanna hold u so bad rn

**jeongin:** i’m sry if that’s weird

**hyunjin:** its not weird it’s cute :(  


**hyunjin:** i like when you say things like that,,

**jeongin:** i’d come back right now if chris wasn’t having a meltdown over his laptop

**hyunjin:** fuck you chan i want my cuddles

**jeongin:** i’m sure if u asked nicely he would cuddle u

**hyunjin:** GROSS I DONT WANT OLD MAN CUDDLES

**hyunjin:** i want innie cuddles :(

**jeongin:** guess i’ll just have to come over tomorrow and give u them 🤔🤔🤔

**hyunjin:** fuck ig u will huh 🤔🤔 what a shame 🤔🤔🤔

**hyunjin:** can i ask something too??

 **jeongin:** shoot

 **hyunjin:** did you do it to yourself?

 **jeongin:** you mean the scars on my thigh ?

 **jeongin:** sort of

 **jeongin:** i used to pick at the scabs / stitches when i was overwhelmed so that’s prolly why they’re so ugly and shit

 **jeongin:** but the initial injury wasn’t anything i did to myself

 **hyunjin:** can i ask how it happened?

 **jeongin:** can i ask why you started hurting yourself ?

 **hyunjin:** touché

 **jeongin:** secret for a secret ? lore for lore ?

 **hyunjin:** i guess that’ll work

 **hyunjin:** wanna go first?

 **jeongin:** fuck u

 **jeongin:** fine

 **jeongin:** long story short my mom left a fuck ton of her syringes on the floor and i slipped into them. they all shattered / lodged into my skin and i lost like. a lot of blood considering i was like 5 at the time

 **jeongin:** thankfully she was decently sober so she took me to the hospital and the doctors patched me up and made sure i wasn’t like. gonna get sick or possibly lose my leg from smth in the needles

 **jeongin:** never saw my mom again after tht. they threw me straight into the system and my mom wasn’t allowed to see me cause she was charged w Crimes

 **jeongin:** anyways. your turn

 **hyunjin:** jeongie,,, that’s terrible. i’m so sorry you had to go through that

 **hyunjin:** it must have been really scary.

 **jeongin:** ig

 **jeongin:** it’s your turn now

 **hyunjin:** right

 **hyunjin:** so i was bullied a lot when i was little,, it was really bad at certain points, like worse than anything i’ve faced here.

 **hyunjin:** one time a bunch of kids locked me in the compost shed for a whole day. a janitor found me when he heard me crying about the flies and worms and other icky stuff

 **hyunjin:** and once they knocked down a hornets nest right next to me cause they knew i was scared of them. they swarmed around me and stung me so much i had to be taken to the hospital.

 **hyunjin:** my parents moved us away from there after that but,,, i still got bullied. no matter where we moved it kept happening so i figured i deserved it?

 **hyunjin:** and i guess i wanted control of something or some way to let out all my frustrations with myself so i just started,,,

 **hyunjin:** i stopped a year or so after i met lucas. he was the beginning of the support system i needed to take the steps to stop doing it

 **hyunjin:** so. yeah

 **jeongin:** darling boy, you know how strong you have to be to go through that and still come out the other side ? you are so resilient. you endured so much.

 **jeongin:** we’re never gonna let anything like that happen again, okay ? me, seungmin, and felix can and will go to bat for you.

 **jeongin:** we care about you. we don’t ever want you to be hurt like that again.

 **jeongin:** i don’t want you to be hurt like that again.

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know what to say,,

 **hyunjin:** thank you, jeongin. i don’t know what i’d do if you didn’t have my back.

 **hyunjin:** i think you’re an integral part of my support system now

 **hyunjin:** thank you for coming into my life.

 **jeongin:** thank you for welcoming me in it hyunjin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this update fucked w me hardcore cause writing jeongin’s pov is super difficult. i hope y’all can tell the differences between their povs in the narratives cause i tried Very Hard to make them noticeable  
> anyways possibly no update next week cause i’m getting all four of my wisdom teeth out on friday then my bday is next thursday so. depending on how i feel i’ll try to update but again no promises !!!!  
> how did y’all feel abt this update ???? the past reveals ???? the LORE ?????? the phone call ????? hyunjin and jeongin’s differing views of the confession scene ????? minho being a dad ??????? lmk !!!!!  
> also we’re nearing the end of this fic as u can prolly tell. there’s gonna be three or so more chaps and then thts it !!! also i wanna reiterate tht them getting together isn’t the end of fic, it’s when they have their first kiss. if u pay close attention to how i characterized their relationship u might be able to figure out why....  
> ANYWAYS please please please lmk wht u thought !!!!! ilu guys and please stay safe 💛💛💛


	25. charcoal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> orange

**[DECEMBER 4TH. 11:56 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**seungmin:** jeongin are u coming to lunch or not

 **jeongin:** sry a girl from my class had to talk to me

 **felix:** wht did she want that she had to cut into our bro time >:(

 **jeongin:** DONT BE MEAN SHES A SWEETIE

 **jeongin:** she wanted to go to the winter dance w me

 **jeongin:** i feel bad i had to turn her down :( i told her i’m not planning on going cause yknow. we haven’t gone to a school sponsored dance since like freshmen yr and all

 **jeongin:** but she looked rly sad :(

 **jeongin:** i hate not having a better excuse cause i feel like i’m just dismissing her feelings instead of acknowledging them and HGGHHH

 **felix:** i’m sure she’s not upset

 **felix:** she’ll get over it if she is cause it’s not like you lied??

 **felix:** we never go to those dances

 **jeongin:** yeah but she’s the second girl TODAY who asked me and they both looked disappointed and one of them even asked me to just hang out with her instead

 **jeongin:** like a date to a movie or smth

 **seungmin:** what did you tell her

 **jeongin:** i told her i wasn’t interested but i think that made her more upset

 **jeongin:** idk what to do i hate making ppl sad and i feel like i’m just ignoring their feelings

 **felix:** wow being popular must really take a toll on u huh jeongin

 **jeongin:** s. sorry ?

 **jeongin:** sorry i’ll figure it out on my own skdhkw

 **felix:** JEONGIE I WAS KIDDING

 **felix:** i think seungmin had a girl ask him to go the dance too

 **jeongin:** owo ?

 **seungmin:** i turned her down

 **seungmin:** she was pretty chill about it tho she seemed cool

 **seungmin:** why don’t you just say you already have a date

 **seungmin:** that’s what i did and it played out fine

 **jeongin:** yeah but what if they ask me who it is

 **seungmin:** just say it’s uhhhh

 **seungmin:** idk actually i got nothing

 **jeongin:** what if. i have an idea

 **seungmin:** don’t trust tht

 **jeongin:** brb

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**jeongin:** hyunjin can u do me a super big favor

 **hyunjin:** i guess

 **jeongin:** you don’t have to if you don’t want to

 **jeongin:** basically i need a fake date to the dance even though we’re not Going to the dance hence the fake part

 **jeongin:** unless u wanna go then i’ll go w u

 **jeongin:** it’s okay if you don’t feel comfy doing it. it’s just a fail safe if someone asks me who my date is when i turn them down

 **jeongin:** i might not even have to do it

 **hyunjin:** yeah i read the gc

 **hyunjin:** i don’t want to go to the dance so ig i’m down

 **jeongin:** cool !!!!

 **jeongin:** we can hang out at my place instead and have fun ?? i’ll have the whole house to myself

 **jeongin:** we can order a metric fuckton of food and watch movies and do whatever u want !!!!

 **jeongin:** it’ll be just us

 **hyunjin:** are you sure??

 **hyunjin:** seungmin and felix won’t mind?

 **jeongin:** no ofc not

 **jeongin:** do you not wanna hang out ?

 **hyunjin:** idk it just seems,,, idk

 **jeongin:** hyunjin what’s up with you ?

 **hyunjin:** i just think maybe u should spend the night with someone you really like ig

 **jeongin:** who says i’m not ??

 **hyunjin:** nnnnn

 **hyunjin:** okay ig

* * *

_**private chat: jeongin and felix** _

**jeongin:** can you do something for me

 **felix:** does it involve crimes against the people

 **jeongin:** it does not

 **felix:** then yes

 **jeongin:** can you ask lucas if i can have his phone number ?

 **felix:** sure

 **felix:** how did u know i still talk to him

 **jeongin:** he comments on ur twt and insta posts almost as much as seungmin and i do

 **felix:** fair

 **felix:** ok he said it was fine but he’s in class rn so he might take a sec to text back

_[FELIX SENT A CONTACT.]_

**jeongin:** thank u lix ilu

 **felix:** ilu2 💚

* * *

_**private chat: lucas and jeongin** _

**jeongin:** hey is this lucas ? it’s jeongin

 **lucas:** sup

 **lucas:** in psych rn slow replies

 **jeongin:** thts okay !!! i’m in class too

 **jeongin:** anyway i’m sorry if this is weird but can i get your insight on something ? it’s about hyunjin

 **lucas:** is he alright?

 **jeongin:** ya i just have a question

 **lucas:** and u can’t ask him urself because...?

 **jeongin:** because i don’t think he’ll be honest with me

 **lucas:** so you think i’ll just talk about my best friend behind his back just cause you THINK he’s not going to tell you the truth?

 **jeongin:** no i’m sorry that came out all wrong 

**jeongin:** i’m just confused right now. we confessed to each other a few weeks ago and i thought after that we’d be like... a thing, yknow ? but he didn’t bring it up so i assumed he wasn’t ready to go that far. like he needed time to sort himself out or smth

 **jeongin:** i treated him like i would treat someone i was dating without all the like... touchy kissy stuff ? cause of Reasons.

 **jeongin:** i sound five yrs old rn oh my god

 **jeongin:** i took him out on a date last week. at least i thought it was a date but i don’t think he knew it was ???

 **jeongin:** ig i just wanna know what’s going on in his head cause if i’m reading this wrong i don’t wanna freak him out

 **jeongin:** everything’s just really complicated and i need some help uncomplicating it

 **lucas:** you took him out on a date? to where?

 **jeongin:** a pottery place !!!! it’s like a ceramics painting thing 

**jeongin:** i wanted to paint him a cute little figurine and give it to him as a gift. i chose a puppy one cause ik he looooves dogs and i made it peach themed cause you know how much he loves his tree

 **jeongin:** after that we went to his house and we cuddled and talked for awhile but i had to leave

 **jeongin:** i texted him that night and told him i didn’t wanna leave him and i rly wanted to hold him because i DID like i think i’m being super obvious ???? that i like him ???? but idk if he understands that or if he just hasn’t decided what he wants us to be or smth and it’s driving me up a WALL

 **lucas:** full disclosure the only reason i’m telling you this is because you guys already confessed. otherwise i wouldn’t be saying anything and leaving you on read lmao

 **lucas:** hyunjin needs things spelled out for him. it’s not that he doesn’t see the signals you’re sending him, trust me he does, he just doesn’t believe them. he has private reasons for it so it’s not your fault. he doubts people far more than he should these days. he often convinces himself he’s not worth their time or some other batshit crazy idea. however, if you tell him outright, to his face, that you like him and want to date him, he will believe you. he might need a push, but he will believe it if you’re clear and concise about it.

 **lucas:** he likes you

 **lucas:** he doesn’t shut up about you half the time

 **jeongin:** how clear should i be ? like straight up just “i like you romantically” ?

 **lucas:** yeah

 **lucas:** but you should add on what you like about him, what he means to you, etc. it’ll make him more likely to believe you.

 **lucas:** anyone can stroll up to someone and say they like them, but not many can list the reasons why and not have it be boiled down to “you’re hot”.

 **jeongin:** i. i really struggle with words. i don’t know if i’d be able to articulate myself in a way he’d understand or that i would feel comfortable doing.

 **lucas:** if you’re not willing to do that then maybe you shouldn’t try at all.

 **lucas:** hyunjin needs someone who will go out of their way to show him he means something to them. if you cannot do that then that is on you.

 **jeongin:** okay. you’re right i understand 

**jeongin:** thank you for talking to me

 **lucas:** it’s whatever

* * *

**[DECEMBER 6TH. 1:25 PM.]**

_**private chat: jeongin and hyunjin** _

**jeongin:** hey

 **jeongin:** can you meet me in the art room after school ? it’s important

 **hyunjin:** is everything okay??

 **jeongin:** yes don’t worry

 **jeongin:** will you come ?

 **hyunjin:** i’ll be there

 **hyunjin:** i’ll cover for you as your fake date too

 **jeongin:** about that... that was super unfair of me to ask of u in the context i did

 **jeongin:** i’m sorry i went abt it like that

 **hyunjin:** don’t worry about it

 **jeongin:** do you want to be my real date instead ?

 **jeongin:** you and i still don’t have to go to the dance, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have our own private one at my house. just me and you.

 **jeongin:** and berry but she won’t bother us

 **hyunjin:** why?

 **jeongin:** why to the berry thing or why to the date thing

 **hyunjin:** date thing

 **hyunjin:** i don’t want to be your charity case jeongin

 **jeongin:** who said you were a charity case ???

 **jeongin:** i want to have our dance because i want to spend time with you

 **jeongin:** please ??

 **hyunjin:** i’ll think about it

 **jeongin:** take all the time you need

 **jeongin:** youre still coming to the art room, yeah ??

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **jeongin:** ill see u there

* * *

“Jeongin?” Hyunjin peeked through the gap in the door. He didn’t receive any response, so took the liberty of entering the room on his own. He winced as he pushed the door open, a loud creak penetrating the serenity of the afternoon’s gentle ambiance.

The room was pretty like this, the setting sun casting a faint orange across the art pieces. The room basked in the glow, but more notably, Jeongin did. He was hunched over an easel, a furrow in his delicate brow as he adjusted then readjusted the position of the canvas atop it. His hair fell in front of his eyes, bangs dusting his forehead and probably poking into his peripherals. The sunlight made it look lighter, a lovely shade of something... something warm. He couldn’t place the color, just knew it described how Jeongin looked. How he felt. He always felt warm, homely. Like no matter the time that will tick by, the faults and flatlines of their lives that will come and go, he will still be waiting. Still gazing up at him with eyes that shine brighter than constellations and a smile that makes morning glories unfurl in the dead of night. 

“Hyunjin? When did you get here?” Jeongin gasped, quickly shielding the canvas behind him with his body. The corners still peeked out from above his shoulders, but Hyunjin still couldn’t make it out. “Ah, you should have said something!” He scolded, a crimson flush rising to highs of his cheeks.

“I did, you just didn’t hear me, I guess.” He shrugged, curiously eyeing the way Jeongin fidgeted in front of him. He had a pout on his face, a little jutting of his bottom lip as he worried at the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “Why are you so nervous? Are you okay?”

Jeongin nodded, averting his eyes to the floor and swiftly curling a hand around his ear to tuck a few strands of his hair behind it. “Yes, yeah... I’m alright, just... Uhm, I- I-“ He stuttered, a coarse groan coming from the back of his throat as he frantically shook his hands loose in front of him. “I'm not okay, actually, I’m really scared. I’m, like, super scared to the point I think I’m gonna lose it, but I have to do this. I’m sorry if I- I don’t make sense, you know I ramble when I’m anxious so just stop me if you- you need to, okay?” He glanced back at the easel then let out a sigh. A sigh that felt like a seal to their fate, one that was irreversible no matter how much you chipped at the drying wax.

“I drew this for you- of you.” He stated dumbly, stepping aside to reveal the sketch. “It’s not- Not done, at all... But I can’t- I can’t get you out of my head, yknow?” He laughed awkwardly, sinking his teeth into his lip as he shot a wary look back at the piece. “All I think about is you. That’s, that’s weird, I know, but you, you just weaseled your way into my head and into my life and I can’t rid of you and I don’t want to. You’re the last thing I think about at night, the last person I text or call before I go to bed. Then you’re the first one I reply to in the morning, the first one I think of and I- I’m always trying to think of ways to make you happy and to see you smile. You have the prettiest smile, yknow that? I think, I think I must have done something, like, legendary in a past life to be able to even witness you smile the way you do.” Jeongin giggled to himself as he ranted, a grin full of fondness taking over his face as he continued. “I remember the day we first met- not like it was forever ago or anything, but, yknow... It was memorable. It was a turning point, a catalyst, even.” He finally met Hyunjin’s eyes, panting heavily from the adrenaline rush of his confession. He then walked over to a second easel. It was facing the wall, completely obscured from prying eyes. Jeongin turned it gently, almost hesitating as he did so. “I made this one too. It’s- I’m proud of it. I hope you are too.” He finished shyly, ducking behind the canvas to shield himself.

Hyunjin stood still, awestruck and flabbergasted and all the other synonyms you could of think for totally mind blown. The first piece, the sketch, was sloppy. Not in the way that it was halfassed or rushed, but like it was a stylistic choice. Like the rough edges and markings were meant to mean something deeper. Something beyond a simple pretty thing to ponder. It still stuck out, still made hyunjin screech like a little girl seeing a puppy on tv.

The other one though... He recognized that one. It was unmistakable, he didn’t know how he hadn’t realized it before. He stepped closer to inspect it, easily clocking the medium as charcoal and not paint like he had originally thought. It was so obvious, it was Jeongin’s style and his favorite tool. He was a fool to have not noticed. And he was a mean fool for calling it freaky back then, too. Nevertheless, he was captivated. He was mesmerized by the shading, the gracefulness of the strokes and the fineness of the minor details. He wanted to reach out and touch it, to reaffirm that this was real, but he knew he’d just end up ruining it.

“Jeongin... This was you? Why did you- Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Jeongin’s foxlike eyes peered cautiously above the canvas. Hyunjin’s own flickered down to the floor to see him standing on the tips of his toes, face still hidden even with all that effort. _Cute_ , a voice chirped in the back of his mind. “It wasn’t ready... I needed it to be ready for you.”

“It’s perfect... It really- I can’t describe it. How beautiful it is.”

“You’re beautiful, Hyunjin,” Both of them choked at that, cheeks a fiery red at the sincerity. “That was- really cheesy, holy shit-“ Jeongin cackled, lowering himself back onto the flats of his feet to disappear from view. He poked his head out from the side of the canvas this time, “I meant it, though. I know that I can’t tell you things like this often, or as clearly as you need me to...” He admitted, “I tried to touch you more, a lot more than I usually would be okay with to- to show you that I liked you... That I still like you. I thought that would be enough, or hoped it would be... But it wasn’t. And that’s okay! It just made me reevaluate my strategy and- and I guess this was it? I needed to just come out and tell you how I felt, without all the beating around the bush or anything.”

Hyunjin thought back, back to all the times he would do something a little too intimate, a little too romantic for two teenage boys fooling around on a whim. The way Jeongin would touch him, held him like he was the world and more. It was the same way he yearned to be touched, the same way he yearned to touch Jeongin. He hadn’t realized he’d been... Almost taking advantage of Jeongin’s kindness. His willingness to make others happy. He’d seen only a glimpse into what Jeongin feels like when he doesn’t wish to be touched, seen how it unravels him to his very core. How it makes him tear at his skin with the blunts of his nails till there’s bloody tracks down his arms and flakes of flesh strewn about concrete. He didn’t want to cause that, didn’t want to cause even a semblance of that feeling.

“Innie, don’t- Don’t do that for me...” Hyunjin took a shaky breath, too rattled by all that was being thrown at him, “Please, I- I don’t know what I’d do if I made you uncomfortable or, or made you have a panic attack cause you pushed yourself to touch me-“

“Don’t be stupid.” Jeongin sent a playful jab to his side, a cheeky smile gracing his lips. “I trust you and I know my own boundaries. So, trust me to tell you when you cross them.” He then reached out and tentatively looped his arms around Hyunjin’s hips, leading him to his chest and linking his hands snuggly at the small of his back. “And I really do like you, you big dummy. I wouldn’t be willing to do this if I didn’t. So, please, don’t forget it this time.”

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

[ _[JEONGIN SENT TWO IMAGES.]_ ](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1245821818058883073?s=21)

**jeongin:** i would like a word w god as to why he is so effortlessly pretty

 **felix:** jeongin this is the quad gc

 **jeongin:** ya and ? fuck abt it ?

 **hyunjin:** you confessed to me half an hr ago don’t get ahead of urself

 **jeongin:** I CONFESSED TO U LIKE A MONTH AGO YOU DUMBASS

 **hyunjin:** WHAT

 **seungmin:** hyunjin you are so undeniably stupid even if you are hot as fuck

 **hyunjin:** ???!??!??!!!??!

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN

 **hyunjin:** A MONTH AGO

 **hyunjin:** JEONGIN BANG

 **jeongin:** WHY DO U THINK I WENT ALL OUT TO CONFESS TODAY ???? SIR ????????

 **jeongin:** THE FIRST TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS BUT NO !!!!!!

 **jeongin:** i draw you two portraits to get my point across and you yell at me

 **jeongin:** bastard

 **hyunjin:** IM DUMB!!!!!!!!

 **hyunjin:** i rly liked the portraits :(

 **jeongin:** thank u they r special just for u

 **jeongin:** one is for my portfolio

 **jeongin:** the charcoal peach one

 **jeongin:** the prompt they gave was turning points and i immediately thought of u

 **jeongin:** tht day was like. the day i realized i could let ppl in

 **jeongin:** you gave me tht peach despite it being the only thing you had to eat for lunch

 **jeongin:** it was selfless and i just. idk i realized i wanted u in my life somehow

 **jeongin:** anyways.

 **hyunjin:** DONT JUST ANYWAYS ME IM IN MY JEELINGS

 **jeongin:** DONT STEAL FELIXS JOKE

 **hyunjin:** SHUT UP I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND RN

 **hyunjin:** i’m ur muse uwu

 **jeongin:** die.

 **hyunjin:** tomorrow. seungmin and felix will have copious amounts of blackmail material. 

**hyunjin:** i will smother you with luv.

 **jeongin:** hold my hand bitch i bet you wont

 **jeongin:** pussy. hold my hand you bastard. do it. you won’t.

 **hyunjin:** TRY ME

* * *

**[DECEMBER 7TH. 7:59 PM.]**

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

_[FELIX SENT 3 IMAGES.]_

**felix:** hyunjin keeps trying to hold jeongin’s hand and jeongin wont stop screaming

 **felix:** i’m trying to nap in the front seat someone contain them

 **minho:** switch seats w jeongin then

 **felix:** id rather take on a hive of wasps

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** the dance is this friday right

 **jeongin:** ya

 **hyunjin:** and i’m staying over at ur place

 **jeongin:** mhm

 **hyunjin:** can i maybe

 **hyunjin:** wear makeup or woukd that be weird

 **jeongin:** hold on i’m busy malfunctioning rn at the thought of u wearing makeup in front of me

 **jeongin:** u can wear whtever u want

 **jeongin:** hgghhh you’re gonna look so cute :(((

 **hyunjin:** are u sure it’s okay??

 **jeongin:** absolutely !!!! it’s just gonna be us anyways

 **jeongin:** whtever makes u feel comfortable

 **jeongin:** i’m rly grateful tht u trust me enough to wear it around me btw

 **hyunjin:** it won’t be extravagant or anything but just a little smth smth ig,,, i wanna look nice since it’s like a date

 **hyunjin:** it is a date, right???

 **jeongin:** it is in fact a date

 **jeongin:** and u can do the loudest look u want i’ll still be on my knees crying cause u look so beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SAID ID GET A CHAP OUT ON MY BDAY AND I DID !!!!! IM A GOD !!!!!!!!  
> anyways my mouf hurts cause i got all wisdom teeth pulled as i mentioned b4... shit sux so sry i couldn’t make this longer  
> my brain isn’t working rn but i hope u guys liked this chap pls lmk wht u thought :( there’s barely any chaps left after this  
> thank u sm fr reading ilu guys !!!!!


	26. forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs for the narratives:
> 
> narrative 1: cabo by ricky montgomery  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KY2Ligs2o8U
> 
> narrative 2: this december by ricky montgomery  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FpIsc2N0CNw

**[DECEMBER 11TH. 7:12 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin:** hey

 **seungmin:** i can hear you snickering across the room. what are you about to do you nasty bastard.

 **jeongin:** CAN I NOT LAUGH ???

 **seungmin:** not on my watch.

 **felix:** jeongin please stop posting

 **jeongin:** ALL I DID WAS SAY OONGA BOONGA

 **hyunjin:** DID YOU STRAIGHT UP POST A PIC OF MY ASS W THE CAPTION OONGA BOONGA

 **seungmin:** HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE AN ASS!!!!!!! THERES NOTHING THERE!!!!!!!

 **hyunjin:** RUDE??

 **felix:** this is the flatass gc

 **jeongin:** i can accept tht

 **seungmin:** I CANT? HOW DARE YOU?

 **seungmin:** IM GOING TO KILSJBW

 **jeongin:** i threw my juice box at his head

 **felix:** thank you for your service

* * *

**private chat: jeongin and hyunjin**

**hyunjin:** what time do you want me to come over?

 **jeongin:** 8 ??

 **jeongin:** seungmin is leaving rn

 **jeongin:** do u want me to pick u up

 **hyunjin:** no you’ll crash your car when you see me

 **jeongin:** it’s not my fault ur beauty is blinding 💛

 **hyunjin:** hey innie? shut up

 **jeongin:** :(

 **hyunjin:** nnnn i’m nervous wht if u don’t like it

 **jeongin:** then god will strike me down where i stand for having terrible taste

 **hyunjin:** i’m serioussss

 **jeongin:** baby there’s no way i won’t like it. just trust me, okay ? you’re the prettiest boy i’ve ever laid eyes on, you can only go up from there.

 **hyunjin:** you’re too nice to me :(((

 **hyunjin:** thank you for supporting me

 **jeongin:** i’ll always support you. no matter what happens, i’ll have your back till the end.

 **jeongin:** i’m gonna pick u up in 20, yeah ??

 **hyunjin:** i told u u didn’t have to!!!!

 **jeongin:** too bad i’m already in my car

 **hyunjin:** THEN GET OUT OF IT??

 **jeongin:** key is in the ignition, it’s too late.

 **hyunjin:** TAKE IT OUT

 **hyunjin:** I HATE U

 **jeongin:** see u soon bastard

* * *

_**private chat: jisung and jeongin** _

**jisung:** hi

 **jeongin:** i’m driving rn what do u want

 **jisung:** i wanted to say sorry for what i said

 **jeongin:** ok

 **jisung:** ik i’m protective when it comes 2 u. tht made me push too hard and say things i should have thought twice about.

 **jisung:** i’m sorry. you’re not anything like ur mom and i have faith in u that u won’t end up suffering like her. she loved u and ik u loved her.

 **jeongin:** i accept your apology and i’m sorry too. i knew what i was getting into when i instigated everything. it was hypocritical to get all pissy when you just reacted in the way anyone else would.

 **jeongin:** can we talk about the rest of this another time ? i’m on a date rn

 **jisung:** oh okay

 **jisung:** i accept ur apology too

* * *

**[11:57 PM.]**

Hyunjin situated himself on Jeongin’s bed, lanky limbs folded underneath him. He grinned as Jeongin pranced about the room to every song that cycled on the playlist. He spun and leaped and did about every cringey early 2000s dance move that popped into his head to make Hyunjin laugh. By the end of the last song, both of them were left panting and flushed head to toe. Hyunjin, from his endless squeals and giggling, and Jeongin from his eccentric antics and performance.

Hyunjin wondered how he could do it. How Jeongin could be this carefree when his whole world was crashing down around him. His dreams only held together by cheap glue sticks and feigning hopes. He marveled at his ability to let loose, to release himself from the stress and simply play around however he pleased. It was a fascinating skill to have, one that left Hyunjin a tad jealous.

“You should come dance with me, sweet boy.” Jeongin huffed, chest rising and falling with each heavy breath he took. He held his hand out for Hyunjin, playfully wiggling his fingers in invitation. He had a sheen of sweat sticking to his forehead, his fluffy hair matted and tangled. Despite this, he still looked undeniably stunning. “Come on! it’ll be fun,” He persisted.

Hyunjin shook his head, “I’m okay, I like to watch.” But he still took his hand to pull him towards him till he was standing directly in front of him. He fiddled with his clammy palms, fingers dusting his knuckles as he rested his cheek against Jeongin’s stomach. “You look so happy when you’re like this.”

Jeongin puffed his cheeks out at him. “What, am I that miserable all the time?” He patted Hyunjin’s head with his free hand, rubbing soothing circles into his scalp. “You should have said so, I’d start dancing like this more.” He gave his head a soft scratch, lips morphing into a gummy grin as Hyunjin nuzzled into his shirt.

“No, that’s not it. You’re just-“

“I know what you meant, baby.” He gave him a comforting smile. “Now, please, pretty please with a cherry on top, can you dance with me? Just one song? Pleaaassseeee!” He pleaded, stepping away to tug childishly on Hyunjin’s arm. Hyunjin didn’t budge though, instead sending him an unimpressed glare. “Ugh, don’t stare at me with such a blasé look on your face! It’s weird!”

“I don’t even know what that word means, but I’m offended.”

“You should be!” Jeongin shouted, stomping his foot on the floor like a kid throwing a tantrum. “You- Wait, oh my god, I love this song!” He giddily bounced on his heels, Hyunjin’s hand slipping from his own so he could clap his hands together in delight. “Have you ever heard it? Please tell me you have!”

Hyunjin listened intently to the lyrics, searching for any kind of familiarity. He came up with nothing and responded to Jeongin’s happy smile with a shrug. Jeongin threw his head back in a groan, adam’s apple bobbing in a way that cruelly enticed Hyunjin’s weak mind. He wanted to ghost his lips across it, nip at the skin till it was red and angry. He wanted people to know Jeongin was off the table, that his eyes wouldn’t wander to them no matter how desperate their attempts.

Gosh, has he always been this possessive? Or is it just because it’s Jeongin? He wasn’t sure, but he did know he didn’t want anyone taking his place. He didn’t know what’d he do if they did.

“You have no taste!” Jeongin declared as he slid into Hyunjin’s lap. He had both thighs bracketing Hyunjin’s and his arms thrown haphazardly around his neck. Hyunjin thought he was a goner for sure. His heart pitter pattered against his ribs, thumping to life and falling into sync with Jeongin’s. He could feel them beating together, both of them anxious and fond and oh so infatuated with the other.

Jeongin booped Hyunjin’s nose, a soft giggle leaving his lips as then began to hum along to the song. Soon he allowed himself to mouth the words before he let himself fully immerse himself in the music. He belted out the lyrics, feverishly tapping the beat into Hyunjin’s nape with the tips of his fingers. He was in his own little world, eyes bleary and unfocused as he stared at Hyunjin. Suddenly, he was leaning back, arms raised above his head as he screamed out the bridge. He was beaming, laughing till his face was pink and his eyes disappeared into adorable crescents. He began to tip off Hyunjin’s lap, but Hyunjin yanked him back to his chest before he plummeted onto the hardwood.

A frail gasp left Jeongin’s lips, too quiet and too warm against Hyunjin’s own. Wait, warm? Hyunjin became acutely aware of how close they were, barely a hairs breadth apart. Their noses were brushing, gently nudging into one another with each breath that filled their lungs. Like this, he could see the sparkles in Jeongin’s eyes. They were eons prettier up close, magnificent in ways you couldn’t dare to dream of. They glittered and gleamed in the artificial light of the room, ample with uncertainty and devotion swirling in its stars. It was like his own private galaxy. He’d never thought someone would look at him like that, with tenderness and endearment that rivaled Shakespeare's most tragic love stories. He felt a surging in his heart, a tightening that made his head swim and his skin tingle with anticipation.

“Can I kiss you?” Hyunjin asked, gaze flitting between Jeongin’s doe eyes and his tempting lips.

Jeongin pressed his lips in a tight line, the edges of his eyes brimming with tears. He sucked in a sudden breath as the first tear slipped down the apple of his cheek. “I- I’m so sorry. I’m not, I’m not ready, Hyunjin. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” He began to weep, masking his face with his hands as heart wrenching shivers wracked through his fragile frame. “I'm sorry! I’m sorry!” He chanted into his palms.

Hyunjin sat with his mouth agape in alarm. He didn’t know what to do, this being the last thing he’d ever imagined to occur. He started to panic, “J-Jeongie? It’s okay, I- Why are you crying? I don’t understand.”

Jeongin sniffled, scrubbing at his eyes with the base of his palms. “Because- Because I’m disappointing you! I like you so much, Hyunjinnie, and I can’t even kiss you! I’m a terrible- I- I’m... I’m sorry,” He mewled, “I’m so sorry...” His shoulders sank into themselves, deflating as he stared down at their laps.

Hyunjin sighed, “Innie, angel, there’s nothing you have to be sorry for.” He raised a hand, watching closely for Jeongin’s reaction as it neared his face. Jeongin leaned towards his palm, whimpering feebly when it made contact. Hyunjin softly cupped his cheek, swiping away the fresh beads of tears with his thumb. “I’ll never force you to do something you’re not ready for.”

“But what if you get bored?” Jeongin fretted, wrapping his dainty hand around Hyunjin’s wrist. His slender fingers barely fit around it and Hyunjin had to tamp down the urge to coo. “What if you get sick of waiting?”

“I’ll never get bored of you because of something like that. If I did, I never deserved you in the first place.”

Jeongin nodded, “One day, I’ll be able to kiss you like you deserve. I’ll kiss you till you have to beat me away with a stick.” He canted his head down to nestle into the crook of Hyunjin’s neck, hot breath splashing Hyunjin’s skin like warm summer waves. “Kissing you is going to be unforgettable, I can feel it. I hope you’ll stay with me long enough to see it through.” He thumbed at the hemline of Hyunjin’s shirt, snuggling into his chest as much as he could.

He looked so tiny like this, like if you tossed a pebble at him he’d shatter into a billion bits and pieces. It made Hyunjin want to protect him, want to take on every sorrow and strike ever aimed at him so he’d never have to suffer again.

Hyunjin smiled down at him, “I’ll stay with you forever, if you let me.”

Jeongin’s cheeks molted into a blissful pink, his lips tugging into a fond smile. “Guess we’re stuck then, huh?” He teased, “I wouldn’t mind being stuck with you, especially when I get to see you wearing such pretty makeup.” He lifted his hand to let his fingers dance across Hyunjin’s features. He was careful not to press too harshly, light touches across the slopes of his nose and cheeks. “Purple lipgloss suits you, baby.”

Hyunjin giggled, playfully nipping at the tips of Jeongin’s fingers as they approached his lips. He could feel his ears heating up, but god knows he didn’t mind it. “I think it’ll suit you better.”

Jeongin furrowed his eyebrows, “Really?” His perplexed little expression made Hyunjin’s heart do a flip.

Hyunjin pressed a chaste kiss to the pillowy flesh of Jeongin’s cheek. What he left behind was a sparkly lilac imprint of his lips. Jeongin’s eyes widen in surprise as he went to touch the spot, examining his hand when it came back sticky and covered in glitter.

“See? I think it suits you much better than me,” Hyunjin snorted as a blush hastily crawled up Jeongin’s cheeks, only further making the purple mark stand out against his skin. “Especially when you’re embarrassed.”

Jeongin scowled at him, but his resolve quickly chipped away as he burrowed into Hyunjin’s collarbone. “You’re mean, Hyunjin.” 

“I do it out of love~” He cradled the back of Jeongin’s head, fingertips gently massaging his scalp. He rested his cheek against the top of his head, relishing in the scent of Jeongin’s shampoo. “You’d be the one getting bored if I didn’t tease you like this.”

“I'll never get bored of you,” He replied seriously. “I might have to nerf you if you keep making me so flustered, though.” 

* * *

**[DECEMBER 12TH. 2:13 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin:** jisung texted me

 **seungmin:** guillotine

 **jeongin:** don’t be mean

 **seungmin:** ??? did u forget what he did

 **jeongin:** no but he apologized for it

 **seungmin:** and you just accepted it like tht??

 **jeongin:** sure did !

 **jeongin:** and you’re not gonna fight me over it !

 **felix:** are u guys buddies again

 **jeongin:** ig so

 **jeongin:** yknow he’s not that bad

 **seungmin:** maybe to you.

 **jeongin:** what’s that supposed to mean

 **seungmin:** he’s only nice to you either cause a. he wants to get in your pants again or b. to get back into astronaut

 **felix:** OKAY CAN WE HAVE ONE WEEK WHERE WE DONT FIGHT

 **felix:** also seungmin literally shut up

 **hyunjin:** what’s happening

 **jeongin:** jisung kissed me once when we were FRESHMEN he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore ??? it’s been 3 yrs ???

 **jeongin:** i literally KNOW who he has a crush on and it sure as hell isnt me

 **jeongin:** listen ik ur just pissy cause of Reasons regarding jisung but don’t try to tell me who to be friends with. jisung isn’t some evil villain, he’s just a teenager like the rest of us who fucks up sometimes.

 **jeongin:** and you’re not exactly a saint to him either btw. so don’t act like HE started everything when you were the one who was hostile from the get go.

 **jeongin:** anyways. i don’t want to argue abt this w you because i respect the fact you don’t like him. i expect the same in return. conversation over.

 **seungmin:** fine.

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** so u and jisung are friends again

 **jeongin:** yeah

 **jeongin:** please don’t be mad

 **jeongin:** i can deal w seungmin being nasty rn but i rly can’t deal w u being angry w me over this

 **hyunjin:** i’m not angry baby

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t know u and jisung dated before

 **jeongin:** oh

 **jeongin:** r u jealous ??

 **hyunjin:** ,,,mayhaps

 **jeongin:** i never dated him

 **jeongin:** i had a crush on him yeah and i trusted him enough to let him kiss me but

 **jeongin:** i couldn’t go any further. i legit freaked out when he held my hand. he was patient w me but at the end of the day we were both too scared to date cause of so psy of tee

 **jeongin:** we were better off as friends anyways

 **jeongin:** plus no one can take my sweet boys place 💛

 **jeongin:** except for kkami.

 **jeongin:** id shove u off a cliff for him... my real true love

 **hyunjin:** just because i’m not covered in fur u won’t fall in love w me 😔😔

 **jeongin:** it’s also cause ur ass is flat

 **hyunjin:** i’m blocking u

 **jeongin:** DO IT PUSSY

 **jeongin:** wait no don’t i wanna play imsg games w u

 **hyunjin:** im gonna DESTROY u at cup pong

 **jeongin:** winner gets a kiss on the cheek ?

 **hyunjin:** you’re on bitch

* * *

**[DECEMBER 14TH. 9:59 AM]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix:** hey jeongin just a warning u have lipgloss on ur cheek

 **jeongin:** what

 **jeongin:** oh

 **jeongin:** OH

 **jeongin:** is tht why everyone’s staring at me

 **jeongin:** brb i gotta wash it off

 **felix:** have fun don’t break out

 **felix:** i’ll lend u makeup wipes if u need them

 **hyunjin:** can soemone help em

 **seungmin:** are you okay?

 **felix:** jin whts wrong??

 **hyunjin:** san

 **seungmin:** what did his gross ass do this time

 **hyunjin:** he called me a slur and now everhone is whisepring abt me and jeongin

 **seungmin:** i’ll handle san, yeah? where are you?

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** i’m sory

 **hyunjin:** i messwd up si bad

 **jeongin:** what’s going on ? are you okay ?

 **jeongin:** i just checked the gc

 **jeongin:** hyunjinnie where are you ? i’ll come to you

 **jeongin:** breathe, okay ? tell me where you are

 **hyunjin:** outside

 **hyunjin:** courtyard

 **jeongin:** hang tight, i’ll be right there

* * *

The wasps surrounded him at every angle, flanking him from the sides and blocking all the exits. he felt them crawling down his throat, wings scraping his esophagus as they invaded his body. They nested inside his lungs, stingers primed to inject him with their venom from within. he finds himself collapsed on the curb outside the school, a heap of pathetic sobs and unintelligible murmurs. The wasps still funnel into every orifice, suffocating him till he’s coughing up saliva onto the cement.

“Hyunjin?” He heard a voice hazily call. His head was spinning, his eardrums covered in wasps nests. He saw a figure crouch in front of him, a figure with charcoal stained fingers and constellations twinkling in his eyes. “Precious boy, it’s me, Jeongin.”

Hyunjin felt himself let out a pitiful sob. He couldn’t tell if it was from the relief of seeing Jeongin or the humiliation of having him see him like this. It was all his fault. He shouldn’t have been so reckless. 

Jeongin’s face scrunched in worry, brows creased and eyes distressed. He reached out, hand stalling midway. He chewed tentatively on his bottom lip, “Can I touch you?”

“Please...” He begged, careening into Jeongin’s palms once they landed on his cheeks. He pressed his forehead to Hyunjin’s, eyes falling shut as he soaked in Hyunjin’s cries. He grasped Jeongin’s hands, pressing them further into his cheeks till they were squishing them. He needed his touch, needed to feel him everywhere the wasps touched. 

“Can I sing for you?” Jeongin asked, voice soft and endearing.

Hyunjin muttered out what he thought was a yes, attempting to take in as many breaths as he could. He felt the nest rip at his core, the papery walls slowly loosening till they fell away inside his lungs.

Jeongin caressed the apples of his cheeks, stroking the damp skin till the tears ceased. He opened his mouth to sing, his voice airy and light as it flowed. It wasn’t loud, it was softer than the cars passing by and the birds chirping above. It was carried off by the wind, a secret for only them and the breeze.

Hyunjin fixated on Jeongin’s voice, all else insignificant. Trivial, even. He didn’t care about the 3rd period bell, didn’t care about the thunder clapping in the distance. All he cared about was the boy serenading him, holding him like he was his entire world and more. Sooner than he’d like, Jeongin sang the final lyric. His eyes fluttered open, meeting Hyunjin’s who had never closed in the first place. He gave Hyunjin a kind smile, wiping away the last of his tears before nudging his nose into his.

“Did you like it?”

Hyunjin nodded, needily leaning into every touch he gave him. Jeongin let out a fond sigh, then he was gone. Hyunjin whined, missing his warmth and tender touches already. Jeongin reappeared beside him, hands finding purchase on the sides of his head to lead it into his lap. He threaded his fingers into Hyunjin’s hair, gently combing out the knotted masses. Hyunjin purred, looping his arms around one of Jeongin’s calves. He hugged it as best he could in the awkward position.

Jeongin chuckled. “Clingy boy, I’m not going anywhere,” He tutted, brushing the hair off his forehead so he could meet Hyunjin’s eyes.

Hyunjin huffed out a laugh at the nickname, turning his head so his cheek was smooshed against Jeongin’s thigh. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI this fic is so close to ending i’m lowkey sad.... but ! i’m working on a new hyunin fic sooooo look forward 2 tht ? i won’t post it fr a while cause it’s still in the planning stages but it’ll prolly be a regular fic aka Not a chat fic  
> also ! because peach tree is ending in like 2 chaps i’m taking questions abt characters and plot stuff on my cc if u guys r interested !!! it’s linked in the perma notes thing below this  
> anyways thank u guys sm fr reading ilu 💛💛 lmk wht u thought abt this chap !!!! hyunin almost kissing !!! jisung being back !!!!!! jeongsung lore !!!!!!!


	27. this december

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy

**[DECEMBER 15TH. 5:34 PM.]**

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

_[SEUNGMIN SENT AN IMAGE.]_

**seungmin:** get a room

 **minho:** DONT BE A BUZZKILL THEYRE ADORABLE

 **changbin:** the img isn’t loading wht is it

 **minho:** MY SON

 **minho:** HES SO CUTE

 **changbin:** it’s jeongin isnt it

 **felix:** it’s jeongie sleeping w hyunjin in his lap during lunch

 **changbin:** OH THATS 🥺🥺🥺

 **changbin:** felix why don’t u do tht w me

 **felix:** because i have a bed? and you’re annoying?

 **chan:** hyunjin if youre reading this tell jeongin he’s a bitch

 **minho:** i will slit your throat if you ever talk about my flesh and blood like that again, christopher bang.

 **chan:** he ate all my oatmeal.

 **minho:** you’re a grown man.

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** innieeeee

 **hyunjin:** come over tonight? i have a surprise for u

 **jeongin:** i have to study hyunjin

 **jeongin:** which u should ALSO be doing >:(

 **hyunjin:** please??? we can study while you’re there

 **jeongin:** hhhggghhggh promise ?

 **hyunjin:** yes!!!!

 **jeongin:** ok i’ll come over around 7, yeah ?

 **hyunjin:** okayyyy ❤️❤️

* * *

**[7:28 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin:** hyunjin is a stupid man

 **jeongin:** a naive little bastard

 **felix:** what did he do

 **jeongin:** so he told me to come over @ 7 right

 **jeongin:** and the door is unlocked so i walk in (after knocking obv) and kkami comes up to me all yippy like the rat baby he is

 **jeongin:** so i pick up the love of my life and we go to the kitchen where this man has made the biggest fucking mess i’ve ever seen since the projectile funfetti fiasco of 2016

 **jeongin:** he tried to bake pastries for me which is cute and all but it REEKS because he BURNED THEM ALL

 **jeongin:** and he’s all teary eyed like innie :( i’m sorry :( and u know wht i did

 **jeongin:** i set my baby down and i go up to hyunjin and i dabbed some gross store bought peach filling onto his nose to make him smile

 **jeongin:** AND HE FUCKING

 **jeongin:** THREW FLOUR AT ME

 **jeongin:** so now he’s passed out on the linoleum covered in flour and peach filling because he thought he could win against ME

 **jeongin:** i am unbeatable. untouchable by mere mortals. i am a god.

 **felix:** so wht ure saying is he tried to do smth nice fr u and u responded by killing him via food fight

 **jeongin:** he’s still breathing

 **jeongin:** for now

 **jeongin:** i cleaned his kitchen tho so when he comes to.... i expect some luv

 **seungmin:** proud of you for committing your first homicide ❤️

 **hyunjin:** where am i

 **seungmin:** proud of u for committing your first attempted homicide ❤️

* * *

**[DECEMBER 16TH. 8:12 PM.]**

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

**chan:** hey who wants to come watch us perform @ the shitty club downtown

 **changbin:** am i getting paid

 **minho:** will there be snacks

 **chan:** all of you are in the fucking band

 **jeongin:** astronauts music hits different when u don’t go to their concerts

 **seungmin:** please stop making tht joke

 **jeongin:** kill me then

 **chan:** ARE YOU COMING OR NOT

 **jeongin:** sure

 **felix:** ig so

 **seungmin:** fine

 **minho:** zero feeling to tht yes kings give us nothing!!!! 

**hyunjin:** ill go!!!

 **chan:** thank you for the enthusiasm hyunjin

 **chan:** i knew i liked you

 **jeongin:** back off grandpa he doesn’t need a sugar daddy

 **chan:** i love you so much but you test me every day

* * *

**_private chat: hyunjin and jeongin_ **

**jeongin:** hyunjinnie

 **jeongin:** hey

 **jeongin:** answer me

 **jeongin:** motherfucker

 **jeongin:** ANSWER

 **hyunjin:** I WAS GONE FOR 2 MINUTES

 **jeongin:** be my date to astronauts gig

 **hyunjin:** what not even a please

 **jeongin:** pwease be innie’s date to astwonauts gig 🥺

 **hyunjin:** BE NORMAL

 **hyunjin:** i will go w u only if u never speak to me like that again

 **jeongin:** yay !!!!

 **jeongin:** i’ll dress up extra nice for u 💛💛💛

 **jeongin:** gettin all dolled up uwu

 **hyunjin:** i’ll make sure to look uglee so i don’t outshine u

 **jeongin:** u say tht like u could ever look ugly

 **jeongin:** i’ll have to shiv creepy old ppl to keep them away from u

 **hyunjin:** what does shiv mean

 **jeongin:** you’ll find out ! :)

* * *

**[10:24 PM.]**

_**private chat: jisung and jeongin** _

**jisung:** hey

 **jisung:** i heard astronaut is performing @ docks this weekend

 **jisung:** do u think chan will get me kicked out if i show up? i don’t wanna start anything i just wanna see the show

 **jisung:** and apologize to minho and changbin

 **jeongin:** he’ll prolly ask the bouncers to make u leave but i’ll try to keep him from seeing u

 **jeongin:** if u stick w me he won’t do anything

 **jisung:** are u positive

 **jeongin:** partially

 **jeongin:** ill do what i can

 **jisung:** thx jeong

 **jisung:** i’ll see u there

* * *

**[DECEMBER 17TH. 3:47 PM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**jeongin:** i miss felix

 **jeongin:** lixie come cuddle w me

 **seungmin:** am i invisible

 **jeongin:** no i just hate you

 **seungmin:** you will rue the day you denied me of jeongie cuddles

 **jeongin** **:** if you pounce on me in public again i will not hesitate to body slam you into the floor like we’re in wwe 2k14

 **seungmin:** my shattered ribs will be worth it

 **felix:** JEONGIE WHERE ARE U IM COMING FOR HUGS

 **jeongin:** AT MY HOUSE HURRY BEFORE SEUNGMIN GETS HERE

 **seungmin:** i never said i was coming

 **seungmin:** but now how can i not

 **hyunjin:** a cuddle party without me :(

 **seungmin:** silence pisces

 **felix:** jin come join us we can lock seungmin in jeongin’s bathroom

 **jeongin:** cuddle pile w my favorite boys 💛💛

 **jeongin:** and seungmin ig

 **seungmin:** LET ME IN LET ME INNNNN

* * *

**[11:31 PM.]**

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** i don’t wanna wake anyone up but u and felix look rly cute rn

 **hyunjin:** me: sends pics of u guys snuggling to changbin to get a muscle boy friendship rank up

 **jeongin:** real life is not persona 5

 **jeongin:** lixie is so precious he just wuvs cuddles

 **jeongin:** cuddlebug lixie 💛💛

 **jeongin:** did u see seungmin get all pouty cause u didn’t hug him tht was so funny jahdjsu

 **jeongin:** seungmins just a needy pubby he wants attention at all times

 **hyunjin:** i was so scared he hated me when we first met now look at us.... he’s drooling on my new sweatpants

 **jeongin:** trust me if he hated u he would have made it Known

 **jeongin:** he used to be hella mean to jisung cause he didn’t like him

 **jeongin:** not tht he’s not mean to him now but u know wht i mean

* * *

**[DECEMBER 18TH. 9:29 AM.]**

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix:** alright which one of you heretics sent changbin the pic of me sleeping on top of jeongie

 **jeongin:** do you even know what the word heretic means

 **seungmin:** it wasn’t me i was busy

 **felix:** busy being a TRAITOR

 **hyunjin:** it was me i wanted changbin friend points

 **felix:** hm.

 **felix:** you get a free pass.

 **seungmin:** BUT I DONT???

 **felix:** hyunjin is my baby

 **jeongin:** pardon ?

 **hyunjin:** i’m older than all of you

 **felix:** :(

 **felix:** jin :(

 **hyunjin:** lixie :)

 **felix:** also did i tell u guys wht changbin did the other day

 **jeongin:** no do tell

 **felix:** he produced a song for me ❤️❤️

 **felix:** he was so stupid he thought i wouldn’t like it like sir you think i wouldn’t appreciate all the effort u put into this??

 **felix:** it was a ballad song cause he said he remembered how i wanted him to sing more on astronauts tracks

 **felix:** but he put it on a custom decorated cassette tape so now i have to buy a fucking cassette player if i wanna listen to it

 **jeongin:** hes a leo did you expect any different

 **felix:** no but one can hope

* * *

**[1:57 PM.]**

_**private chat: jisung and jeongin** _

**jeongin:** hey can i ask u smth kinda sketch

 **jisung:** sure

 **jeongin:** you don’t have any feelings for me anymore right

 **jeongin:** i’m just asking cause hyunjin got a little jealous when he found out we fooled around when we were younger and i just wanna. make sure we’re on the same page

 **jisung:** no i haven’t liked u tht way since sophomore year

 **jisung:** sry to disappoint

 **jeongin:** kshcksj it’s not like tht i just

 **jeongin:** i was wondering ig ?

 **jisung:** nah i get u

 **jisung:** i’ve always been real clingy w u so i get his jealousy

 **jisung:** ure the only one who didn’t abandon me ig

 **jeongin:** sung :(

 **jeongin:** i’m sorry it turned out this way

 **jisung:** it’s not ur fault

 **jisung:** seungmin’s hated me from the start. it was only a waiting game to see when felix would hate me too

 **jisung:** i dug my own grave w the others but them... idek wht i did

 **jeongin:** i’m sorry. i wish i knew

 **jeongin:** if it helps, felix doesn’t hate you... i think he’s just protective of seungmin since you guys are always at each other’s throats

 **jisung:** ig

 **jeongin:** i’m sorry

 **jeongin:** i’ll always be there for you, okay ? 

**jisung:** thx jeong

 **jisung:** call me?

* * *

**[6:32 PM.]**

_**group chat: berry love zone** _

**chan:** remember we’re performing @ docks tonight

 **jeongin:** do i have the car

 **chan:** no

 **minho:** yes we’re using mine

 **chan:** nvm then damn

 **changbin:** i love jeongin listening to minho more than chan

 **chan:** don’t fuel his rebellious streak

 **hyunjin:** innie didn’t u sleep in chans bed last night cause u missed him

 **jeongin:** hyunjin don’t you want to live past 17

 **changbin:** THATS

 **minho:** chan i’m sorry legally i can’t let u sleep over at my apartment tonight

 **chan:** jeongin i didn’t know u loved me tht much 😢 u should have told me u missed me i would have come home

 **minho:** jeongin i’ll sleep over w u. u don’t need him.

 **chan:** WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY BROTHER

 **seungmin:** i hate you people i’m trying to study

 **chan:** turn off your phone i’m abt to kill minho

 **seungmin:** ok

 **jeongin:** will u check ur fucking dms chris

 **chan:** what

 **chan:** oh shit sry

 **minho:** jeongin come into my dms ☹️

* * *

_**private chat: jeongin and chan** _

**jeongin:** i’m sorry i slept in ur room without permission

 **chan:** it’s fine dont worry abt it! 

**chan:** is everything okay? you never sleep in my room unless somethings wrong

 **jeongin:** i don’t wanna worry you before the show

 **chan:** i’m already concerned

 **chan:** you’re my baby brother. you can tell me when something’s bothering you. if you aren’t ready yet, i’ll be there to take care of you until you are.

 **jeongin:** hggghhhgh

 **jeongin:** just nightmares again

 **jeongin:** i couldn’t even call hyunjin cause it was so triggering

 **jeongin:** i just needed smth to ground me

 **jeongin:** so i went to ur room and hoped u were there but u weren’t so i just

 **jeongin:** slept in ur bed cause tht was the closest thing to u i could get without having u physically there w me

 **jeongin:** i’m sorry i didn’t call u ik u told me to when i get like tht but

 **jeongin:** idk

 **chan:** jeong, i love you so much, yeah? don’t be sorry for anything. you did the best you could and i’m so unbelievably proud of you for that.

 **chan:** next time, just call me when you feel better and we can talk it out like this. it’s no good to keep it bottled up.

 **jeongin:** okay

 **jeongin:** good luck tonight

 **jeongin:** i’ll cheer you on

 **jeongin:** i love you

 **chan:** i love you so much more

* * *

_**group chat: pussy aerodynamics** _

**felix:** WOOOO WHOS READY TO FUCKING PARTY

 **seungmin:** docks is the shittiest club in town

 **felix:** yes but we get in free without ids because we’re w the band

 **jeongin:** if i see any of you near the bar i’m ratting you out to the bouncers

 **felix:** LAME

 **felix:** LIVE A LITTLE !!!!!

 **seungmin:** please sir may i have one beer

 **jeongin:** absolutely not you’re worse than felix

 **hyunjin:** didn’t felix vomit after one shot

 **jeongin:** yeah but seungmin wanders when he’s drunk

 **felix:** its true we have to latch onto him or we’ll never find him

 **jeongin:** no we’ll just find him 3 blocks away passed out in a walmart parking lot

 **seungmin:** STOP AIRING OUT MY SECRETS

 **hyunjin:** it’s ok seungmin i support ur outdoor naps

 **seungmin:** thank u hyunjin

 **seungmin:** have u ever drank before

 **hyunjin:** no my family is rly against it

 **hyunjin:** i don’t want to do it anyway even when i’m legal

 **felix:** can i ask why

 **hyunjin:** just don’t want to ig? i don’t like the idea of losing control

 **felix:** makes sense

 **felix:** i don’t think minho drinks either cause of that

 **seungmin:** oh yeah he totally freaks out when he’s drunk

 **seungmin:** i think he’s only drank twice and he had panic attacks both times

 **jeongin:** chris had to calm him down in the back of changbin’s car last time

 **jeongin:** it was rly scary for him

 **hyunjin:** does he have panic attacks often

 **seungmin:** no that’s what made it worse

 **seungmin:** i’ve known minho for 12 years and i’ve only ever seen him have a panic attack those two times

 **felix:** yeah he’s pretty level headed

 **jeongin:** bitches can we move this convo to the car cause i’m coming 2 get y’all rn

 **felix:** FUCK IM NOT DONE MY EYELINER

 **felix:** PICK ME UP LAST PLEASE IM ON MY KNEES

 **jeongin:** because u asked so nicely i will but i cant promise i won’t honk the horn to scare the shit out of u

 **felix:** a risk i am willing to take

* * *

**[9:59 PM.]**

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** innie where are u

 **hyunjin:** there’s so many ppl i cant find u :(

 **jeongin:** i’m w jisung and changbin @ the lounge area thing

 **hyunjin:** okay i’ll be right there

 **hyunjin:** :(

 **jeongin:** u okay ??

 **hyunjin:** jisung has his hand on ur thigh

 **hyunjin:** it just,,, makes me uncomfortable

 **hyunjin:** cause we’re exclusive, right??

 **jeongin:** pity boy, are you jealous ?

 **hyunjin:** nnn yeah

 **jeongin:** wanna come sit, baby ? i can see you sulking from the wall

 **hyunjin:** but there’s no room

 **jeongin:** you can sit in my lap !!!

 **jeongin:** then jisung has to move his hand, doesn’t he ? and he can see how much i adore my precious boy

 **jeongin:** not tht he’s not ogling bin rn but

 **hyunjin:** jeongin.

 **jeongin:** ...yeah ?

 **hyunjin:** we’re exclusive, right?

 **jeongin:** yes of course we are

 **jeongin:** you’re the only one i wanna be with

 **jeongin:** fuck you i can see you smiling @ me from here

 **hyunjin:** it’s not my fault u look pretty when u blush

 **jeongin:** it’s so dark in here i’m surprised u can see it

 **jeongin:** now come here i wanna give u a surprise

 **hyunjin:** is it a kiss?

 **jeongin:** maybe u should come over and find out 🤔🤔

* * *

_**private chat: jisung and jeongin** _

**jisung:** ik i left already but i wanna say u and hyunjin r sickeningly adorable together

 **jisung:** when u kissed his temple and he elbowed u in the ribs from shock.... true love at its finest

 **jisung:** legit tho i’m glad u found each other

 **jisung:** he looks a lot happier compared to the first day i met him

 **jisung:** and so do u

 **jeongin:** thank you sung

 **jeongin:** sry for late reply hyunjin was messing w my fingers and wouldn’t get off me

 **jisung:** owo?

 **jeongin:** rn i’m abt to drive him home and he’s hanging off my arm cause he’s half asleep

 **jeongin:** me having to buckle this 17 year old boy into his seat because the second he sat down he was out cold

 **jisung:** me after eating half an edible @ 3 pm

 **jeongin:** me @ 3 pm

 **jeongin:** how did all ur apologies go btw

 **jisung:** good! changbin said as long as u forgave me then he’ll forgive me too.

 **jisung:** minho said he forgives me but he isn’t sure he wants to be friends again yet

 **jeongin:** understandable since he’s bffs / dating chris... i’m glad it went well for the most part !!!!

 **jisung:** me too!! i thought he was abt to snap me in half when i approached him

 **jeongin:** i think thts his constant aura when he’s in a room w 10+ ppl

 **jisung:** my fellow introvert i knew he’d come thru

* * *

**[DECEMBER 19TH. 6:12 AM.]**

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** do u know how i got home?? i cant remember anything after i fell asleep in ur lap

 **jeongin:** i took you home dw

 **jeongin:** i gave u a goodnight kiss too... i hope u had sweet dreams 💛

 **hyunjin:** you did not do what i think you did

 **hyunjin:** PINK LIPSTICK ON MY FUCKING FOREHEAD I HATE YOUUUU

 **hyunjin:** YOU WERENT EVEN WEARINF MAKEUP LAST NIGHT

 **jeongin:** yeah i pocketed felixs extra hot pink lipstick

 **jeongin:** now u know how i felt walking around school w a kissy kiss stain on my cheek <3

 **hyunjin:** i said i was sorry :(

 **jeongin:** IM JOKING

 **jeongin:** u know i didn’t mind

 **hyunjin:** if you don’t mind then.... perhaps you’re in for a surprise later

 **jeongin:** i don’t think i’m too fond of ur surprises

* * *

**[11:12 AM.]**

_**group chat: berry love zone**_

**jeongin:** hey chris you’re abt to call from the principal in a sec

 **chan:** i am going to expel you from that godforsaken school myself

 **minho:** what did you do

 **changbin:** how much trouble did you get yourself into this time

 **felix:** WHY THE FUCK IS THE STAR QUARTERBACKS NOSE BLOOD ALL OVER THE MATH WINGS FLOOR

 **chan:** don’t think you need to hotdial sherlock on this one boys

 **changbin:** i see we’ve solved the mystery of the bleeding jock and the suspended jeongin in one fell swoop

 **hyunjin:** christ jeongin what the fuck

 **jeongin:** I DIDNT STSRT IT THIS TIME

 **jeongin:** HE PUNCHED ME FIRST

 **jeongin:** AND IM NOT SUSPENDED I JUST GOT 2 WEEKS DETENTION

 **minho:** HE PUNCHED YOU?

 **jeongin:** YES !!!!!

 **seungmin:** so you decided to break his nose

 **jeongin:** you say that like it was my intention

 **jeongin:** i was simply defending myself against a man who is 6’3 and 200 lbs

 **chan:** just got off the phone i’m going to wring your neck when you get home

 **jeongin:** WHY

 **chan:** you can’t just start fights with everyone who opposes you

 **jeongin:** i didn’t mean to i literally was just arguing w him and he took a swing at me

 **jeongin:** he punches like a bitch btw i didn’t even stagger

 **chan:** can you please for once in your life take this seriously

 **chan:** you cannot do this anymore. if i get one more call that you instigated a fight with a classmate i’m calling mom.

 **jeongin:** i’m sorry

 **jeongin:** i won’t do it again

 **chan:** please mean it this time.

* * *

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** what did he mean you instigated that fight

 **hyunjin:** why did you fight with isaac today? what was the point?

 **jeongin:** it doesn’t matter.

 **hyunjin:** yes it does!

 **hyunjin:** chan is right, you can’t go on like this. you’re going to get hurt.

 **jeongin:** i can handle myself.

 **hyunjin:** you got sucker punched. you call that handling?

 **jeongin:** it didn’t hurt that bad, i swear.

 **jeongin:** he just needed to shut up. i couldn’t just stand there and do nothing

 **jeongin:** i’m sorry

 **hyunjin:** i can’t stand when you play the martr.

 **jeongin:** are you fucking serious

 **jeongin:** did you expect me to just fucking let him say how he wanted to tie you to the bleachers all night ? maybe even leave you there all winter break ? 

**jeongin:** god is it such a fucking crime to want to protect my boyfriend ?

 **hyunjin:** boyfriend?

 **jeongin:** oh

 **jeongin:** i have to go.

 **hyunjin:** jeongin wait let’s talk this out

 **hyunjin:** jeongin??

 **hyunjin:** this conversation isn’t over even if you run from it

* * *

**[6:37 PM.]**

_**private chat: felix and hyunjin** _

**felix:** PLAY VIDYA GAMES W ME

 **hyunjin:** maybe later

 **felix:** :’(

 **felix:** whts wrong??

 **hyunjin:** wdym

 **felix:** u always wanna play games w me!!! u never turn me down even when ur tired

 **hyunjin:** just not feeling it tonight

 **felix:** ah

 **felix:** does this happen to be linked w why jeongie is grumpy too

 **hyunjin:** probably

 **felix:** hm. i won’t force u to tell me but lmk if u need anything, okay????

 **felix:** i’ll spam u w clips of me epically dying to low lvl bosses in bloodborne like the skilled gamer i am

* * *

_**private chat: seungmin and hyunjin** _

**seungmin:** are you okay

 **hyunjin:** i guess so

 **hyunjin:** why

 **seungmin:** jeongin’s all fucked up rn and he won’t tell me why aside from it had to do w you

 **seungmin:** and tallying in what happened earlier i’m just assuming u were upset he got in a fight again

 **hyunjin:** oh yeah i was hella pissed

 **hyunjin:** still kind of am but i’ll be over in like a day

 **hyunjin:** can i ask u smth sorta personal

 **seungmin:** i don’t like that question but i’ll give u a tentative yes

 **hyunjin:** ushwjdj it’s nothing serious i just need some help understanding smth

_[HYUNJIN SENT A SCREENSHOT.]_

**hyunjin:** i don’t get why he disappeared like tht after i said tht

 **seungmin:** wtf

 **seungmin:** he’s a weirdo sometimes let me do some digging and i’ll get back to u

 **hyunjin:** pls don’t tell him i showed u tht he’s gonna get angry at me

 **seungmin:** i won’t dw

 **seungmin:** i’ll be sneaky seungmin

 **hyunjin:** don’t call urself sneaky seungmin it’s weird

 **seungmin:** sneaky seungmin takes offense to tht

* * *

_**private chat: seungmin and jeongin** _

**seungmin:** u know hyunjin isn’t mad at u

 **seungmin:** like he is a little bit but he said it won’t last

 **seungmin:** and we both know it’s because u keep throwing ur safety out of the window

 **jeongin:** seungmin please stop talking

 **jeongin:** that’s not even why i’m sad rn

 **seungmin:** ??? then why r u

 **seungmin:** u don’t gotta tell me

 **jeongin:** just

 **jeongin:** it’s super dumb don’t make fun of me

 **jeongin:** i thought hyunjin and i were boyfriends but after our convo i don’t think he knew we were at all

 **jeongin:** and when i think back to previous conversations it makes sense cause it’s never “we’re bfs right” it’s always “i’m the only one you’re seeing right”

 **jeongin:** ig i’m just. moody cause i thought we were boyfriends but he didn’t see us like tht or like... expected more ??? from me as a bf ????

 **jeongin:** idk if i make sense rn i’m all over the place

 **seungmin:** do u think he was or is dating other ppl??

 **jeongin:** no no it’s not like that i just mean like i feel like i failed him and that like... i’m not as special to him as i thought cause we’re not labeled in his head ig ???

 **jeongin:** like he thinks of me and he doesn’t see me as a boyfriend he just sees me as a fun time or smth

 **jeongin:** i just. idk hahah i’m fucking having a breakdown over this like ?? mf this is PATHETIC

 **jeongin:** cause i KNOW he does like me cause he’s so patient w me and stuff but my head is like uhhh if tht was the case he’d call u his bf :/ clearly it’s an act :/

 **jeongin:** and my stupid nightmares aren’t helping cause it just ends up w shit like him fucking. god i can’t say it i’m shaking so bad rn just thinking abt it

 **jeongin:** i cant do this rn i need to call chris

 **jeongin:** i’m sorry for dumping this on u and dipping ik it’s ridiculous and i’m overreacting

 **seungmin:** jeongin please stay safe i love you

 **seungmin:** i understand your ramblings completely, but hyunjin probably didn’t know you viewed your relationship like that yet. he could have been waiting till you were comfortable asking him to be your bf or vice versa.

 **seungmin:** you mentioned to me before you weren’t ready to kiss him on the lips yet, so he most likely is giving you full control of milestones like that. labeling your relationship prolly falls under that category to him.

 **seungmin:** text me later to lmk you’re alright 

* * *

_**private chat: seungmin and hyunjin** _

**seungmin:** i have discovered the reasons

 **hyunjin:** oh god why is it plural

 **seungmin:** he’s emotional rn for multiple reasons but the Actual Reason he left in ur convo is cause he thought u guys were bfs but u didn’t know tht. his brain makes strange connections but he took u not knowing as him not being a good partner to u

 **seungmin:** he’s. not doing well rn

 **seungmin:** it’s not your fault tho

 **seungmin:** things are happening in his head that aren’t my place to reveal

 **seungmin:** ik it’s unfair to ask especially since you were justly frustrated w him about the isaac bullshit (we all were and still are) but please just be gentle w him if you talk to him in the next day or two

 **seungmin:** i’m not saying to disregard what he did cause he needs to be held accountable but don’t yell at him or anything like that.

 **hyunjin:** i won’t i promise

 **hyunjin:** i rly didn’t think he was ready to call us boyfriends yet,, i was always asking if we were a thing cause i didn’t want to pressure him into calling us something he wasn’t ready to, but i still needed to like,,, know we were only seeing each other.

 **hyunjin:** he totally blindsided me when he called me his boyfriend but it made me all giddy and smiley when it sunk in :(

 **hyunjin:** should i call him ?

 **seungmin:** not tonight... maybe tomorrow

 **seungmin:** he’s on the phone w chan rn anyways so he wouldn’t answer

 **seungmin:** also thank you for treating jeongin the way you do

 **seungmin:** you don’t coddle him or forgive every mistake he makes, but you’re forgiving enough to give him another chance when he deserves it.

 **seungmin:** you’re good for him. i hope he’s good for you too

 **hyunjin:** he is

 **hyunjin:** i wouldn’t have lasted here without him. even if we weren’t romantically involved, he still introduced me to you and felix. you‘re my best friends

 **seungmin:** the feeling is def mutual. felix adores u and ig i li- 🤢🤢 i like- 🤢🤢🤢 i cant even say it

 **hyunjin:** just say ur in love w me and go

 **seungmin:** my parents didn’t raise a liar

* * *

**[DECEMBER 20TH. 4:56 PM.]**

_**private chat: jisung and hyunjin** _

**jisung:** hey um i’m sorry if this is weird but this is jisung

 **hyunjin:** yeah i have your number saved

 **hyunjin:** what do you want i’m busy

 **jisung:** listen ik u hate me and all but this concerns jeongin so can we put our bitchy attitudes down for 5 minutes

 **hyunjin:** is he okay?

 **jisung:** obv not since yall haven’t been talking.

 **jisung:** ik u guys r fighting but can u at least reach out to him and let him know u don’t hate him or some shit. i’ve been trying to get him to do it instead since he’s the one who dipped in the first place but he’s being stubborn and immature

 **jisung:** ik it sucks tht u have to make the first move in a situation where u shouldn’t have to but none of us want to see u guys just stop dating cause of wht happened

 **hyunjin:** he told you about our conversation??

 **jisung:** thts wht u took out of my 3 consecutive msgs

 **hyunjin:** no

 **hyunjin:** i was going to talk to him tonight anyways

 **hyunjin:** thanks for telling me

 **jisung:** np

* * *

**[9:50 PM.]**

_**private chat: hyunjin and jeongin** _

**hyunjin:** can we talk

 **jeongin:** sure !!!

 **hyunjin:** can you call me

 **jeongin:** ofc !!

* * *

“Hey,” Hyunjin murmured through his end of the phone. He had told Jeongin to call him, he knew this, but he still felt caught with his pants down when his caller id pinged on his screen. He hadn’t rehearsed what to say, hadn’t thought this through thoroughly. But it occurred to him that he wasn’t the one who needed to do that. He wasn’t the one who did something wrong, even if he felt liable for it. 

“Hi!” Jeongin chirped, but his voice wasn’t quite right. It sounded nasally and phlegmy, like he had something stuck in the back of his throat. Hyunjin hoped it was an apology.

“Have you been crying?” Hyunjin asked.

There was a pause, then a soft snivel. “Yes,” Jeongin puled, “It’s- it’s not your fault, okay? I know I’ve been acting like a kid.” He heard staticky shuffling on the line, like Jeongin was pawing at his eyes or rubbing his nose. Hyunjin yearned to quell his tears, but resolutely tamped it down for the sake of his pride. “I’m sorry for overreacting, everything’s just been so much for me lately that I- I don’t know.” His voice wavered, lowering to a strained mumble. “When you got mad at me, even though you had every right to be, I- I felt like, like you didn’t like me anymore. I just- I hate when people shout at me or sound too- too angry. Usually I’m fine and I can take it, but these days... It hurts.”

“And I know it probably sounds like I’m blaming you or something, but I promise I’m not. It’s my fault. And I’m really sorry for ghosting you like I did, I- I don’t know why I freaked out like that. I just... I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it without you thinking I’m dramatic.”

“I forgive you, Innie. And I’m sorry for yelling at you, but you know why I’m hard on you, right? I hate seeing you get hurt. I just want to protect my boyfriend too.”

He heard Jeongin’s breath hitch, a tinny choking sound resonating from the small speaker. “And who is that?” He breathed.

Hyunjin huffed out a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. He smiled fondly, “It’s you, Jeongin.” 

* * *

_** private chat: hyunjin and jeongin ** _

**hyunjin:** are u sure u want to come over tonight?? it’s late baby :(

**jeongin:** wanna see u rn

 **jeongin:** i missed u sm i felt like i was going crazy

 **jeongin:** hyunjin withdrawals

 **hyunjin:** jwjckajd

 **hyunjin:** drive safe, alright?? i’ll give u all the snuggles in the world when u get here

 **jeongin:** don’t say that i might get a speeding ticket

 **hyunjin:** >:( jeongin!!!!!

 **jeongin:** sweet boy 💛💛

 **hyunjin:** bitch.

 **jeongin:** RUDE

 **jeongin:** IM GONNA BITE U LIKE A RABID DOG WHEN I GET THERE U INGRATE

* * *

**[DECEMBER 21ST. 10:02 AM.]**

“Jeongie~” Hyunjin singsonged, flowing through the house like a fairy who just garnered their wings. He peered into each room he fluttered passed, pouting further and further as he’s met with the same bleak, empty spaces. “Where are you? Its too early to play hide and-“

“Gotcha!” Suddenly, a pair of lithe arms looped around his neck from behind, the familiar smell of oak and peach shampoo swarming inside his nostrils. Jeongin buried his face in between his shoulder blades. An obnoxious ‘mwah!’ uttered from his lips as he showered Hyunjin’s back in sleepy kisses.

Hyunjin giggled, his face heating up at Jeongin’s peculiar show of affection. He melted into his touch, pressing his back into his chest and letting out a content sigh. “What’s all this for?” He shivered as Jeongin raised his head, hot breath hitting his ear.

“Would you be upset with me if I said I missed you?” He whispered. “I was tossing and turning all night cause I was worried you were mad at me for what I- For what I said to you... And I, I feel like we didn’t- We didn’t really go over it enough?” He paused, a questioning lilt in his voice. He loosened his grip on Hyunjin’s neck till his arms fell flatly at his sides. “I feel like you only said you forgave me to make me shut up.”

Hyunjin turned sharply, the harshness of the movement startling Jeongin into taking a step back, hands flying up to protect himself on instinct. He flinched, his face scrunching as he braced for the impact that would never come. 

Hyunjin’s face fell, quickly realizing his mistake. “Innie...” He approached him calmly, carefully pushing himself into Jeongin’s space, but making it clear he wasn’t trying to invade it. He kept his hands in the air, on full view for Jeongin so he could see where they were at all times. “I’m not going to hurt you, Jeongin, you’re safe with me.” He soothed, fingers wrapping around delicate wrists. He’d never seen him react in such a way before; so vulnerable. He was always the strong one, always the one who put his safety on the line for others.

Jeongin hissed. Tears were lining his eyes, threatening to spill past his lashes. “I know... I know, Hyunjinnie would never hurt me...” He echoed, sucking in a shaky breath. He leaned his head forward till his forehead touched Hyunjin’s chest. Hyunjin immediately cradled his head, nuzzling his nose into the messy strands of his hair. Jeongin hummed, “My sweet boy would never lay a hand on me.”

“Your sweet boy... All yours, angel.” Hyunjin pressed a soft kiss to his scalp. He inhaled deeply through his nose, the homely scent of Jeongin making him lovedrunk. He was a little dizzy from it, but his heart was so full it didn’t matter how spotty his vision was. He smiled into Jeongin’s hair as he felt his arms snake around his torso once again. "What’s gotten into you lately? I’ve never seen you this skittish.”

Jeongin shrugged, “Been having nightmares... Its putting me on edge, I guess. Reminding me of things.” He raised his head to nose at Hyunjin’s jawline. It was feather light, barely there nuzzling that felt so intimate yet so silly all at once. “Don’t really wanna talk about it,” He mumbled, lovingly nudging his nose further into the flesh of Hyunjin’s flushed cheek.

It was things like that that made Jeongin so special to him. That made his stomach fill with butterflies and hummingbirds and whatever other gooey stuff you could think of. He’d go out of his way to accommodate to Hyunjin’s need for affection, even at the cost of his own comfort, but he’d do it in such individual ways. From squeezing his hand to pacify him during scary movies, to mouthing hushed lullabies into his cheek at the break of dawn. It was just so undeniably Jeongin.

Of course, Hyunjin would spoil Jeongin right back with as much affection as he could. He would shove at his chest with a bashful smile when he went a little overboard, but Hyunjin couldn’t help it. Couldn’t help smattering kisses all over his cheeks till they were coated in a sticky sheet of his glittery lipgloss, or poking his cute dimples while he was talking passionately about something he loved with that huge gummy smile of his. He adored him with all his heart, even more than Kkami and his beloved peach tree.

“You think so loud, baby...” Jeongin breathily whispered, using a finger to tilt Hyunjin’s chin to face him. He met those big doey eyes and let out a content puff of air through his nose. “What’s going on in there?”

Hyunjin chuckled, lips curling in a blissful grin. “Just thinking about the universe.”

He gave him an incredulous look, “The universe? Never knew you could think about something more than what you want to eat for lunch.”

“Hey! Don’t be mean~”

Jeongin giggled, crinkling his nose in the way that made Hyunjin’s heart do somersaults. “So, what about the universe has you so enthralled?”

“The way that I can hold it in my arms.”

“Huh?”

Hyunjin snorted at his cluelessness, then gave him a tight squeeze to prove his point. He couldn’t help the coo that left his lips as he watched all the color flood to Jeongin’s cheeks.

“You... Y-you!” Jeongin stomped his foot childishly on the wood floor. He always got cranky when Hyunjin made him flustered like this. But who could blame him when he could see such an adorable sight? He buried his pretty rose colored face in Hyunjin’s neck, but Hyunjin quickly discovered that the hot blush had spread to his nape and the very tips of his ears. “You can’t do that... Its not fair...” He griped, “Always making me so nervous... Catching me off guard... So rude!”

* * *

**[DECEMBER 27TH. 6:23 PM.]**

_**private chat: jeongin and hyunjin** _

**jeongin:** baby boy i miss u

 **jeongin:** chris held me hostage for the past 3 days cause our parents wanted to video call for christmas :( didn’t get to talk to u at all

 **hyunjin:** come over then

 **hyunjin:** it’s been so boring without the gcs being active

 **hyunjin:** also kkami misses u

 **hyunjin:** and i do too but that’s not as important

 **jeongin:** sorry to kkami but my beautiful boyfriend saying he misses me makes me feel things his sweet rat barks could never

 **hyunjin:** innie. come hither so i may shower my equally beautiful and magnificent boyfriend w love.

 **jeongin:** hithering.

* * *

Jeongin and Hyunjin were both seated facing each other with their legs crossed underneath them. They were surrounded by a chaotic conglomeration of all of Hyunjin’s most expensive makeup supplies.

It took some serious sharktank level deal closing to get him to agree to let Jeongin be his test model. And by serious, he means he had asked him for a cutesy couples photo to make his lock screen in exchange. Of course, it was naive of him to think Jeongin would say no to that. In fact, he was ecstatic and probably wasted majority of Hyunjin’s limited phone storage on pictures of the two of them.

Nonetheless, here he was, with a bouncy Jeongin in his bed and a sharp ache in the tight knots of his spine from pitching forward to apply his makeup. 

“Innie, stop fidgeting! You’re going to make my lines falter,” Hyunjin reprimanded, eyes hardening with feigned agitation. He gave Jeongin a tap on the nose with the capped end of his lipstain. “Bad boys don’t get to look pretty.”

“Is that so?” Jeongin nudged his calf with his bare foot, a mischievous quirk working at the corner of his lips. "Guess I’ll have to be a good boy for you then.”

“You’re a pain, yknow that?” Hyunjin’s eye twitched as he attempted to complete the final piece of the look yet again. “You should be grateful I like you so much. I would have thrown you out my window by now if you were anyone else.” He creased his eyebrows as he focused on finishing Jeongin’s lips, applying the bright color in small portions and praying to any god who would listen that the pigments didn’t bleed together.

Jeongin mindlessly reached out to finger the fabric of Hyunjin’s sweatpants, his shimmery brown eyes fluttering closed as Hyunjin poked and prodded at his plush lips with various applicators of lipsticks and stains. Hyunjin paused when he felt it, his free hand finding Jeongin’s fingers and encasing them with his own.

”How are you feeling, angel?”

Jeongin let out a sigh of contentment, opening his eyes to lazily meet Hyunjin’s. They were just as sparkly as before, but there was something else dwelling in their pools. Jeongin grazed the back of his hand with his thumb, gently caressing his tender knuckles. “Happy,” He drawled, “I like spending time with you like this, Hyunjinnie.”

Hyunjin smiled fondly, a pale blush rising to his cheeks. “Me too.”

Jeongin’s grin dissolved, morphing into a pensive parting of lips. His eyes flit down to Hyunjin’s lips, then a trembling hand was placed onto his cheek. “Hyunjin,” he urged, “Can I kiss you?”

Hyunjin gasped out a quiet ' _yes_ '. He canted forward only enough to show he wanted it, allowing for Jeongin to take his time. His breath was shaky, quivering with uncertainty as he tentatively closed the distance between their lips. Jeongin jerked when they brushed together, like the feeling was a shock despite his eyes being blown wide open. He clutched Hyunjin’s hand like a vice, who returned it with a reassuring squeeze of his own.

Hyunjin patiently waited for him to scrounge up his courage. He would sit there all night if he had to, even if the kiss never came. He wasn’t going to rush Jeongin, wasn’t going to make him feel like he disappointed him when he did the farthest thing from it. Just asking for this, whether he’s truly prepared or not, was a step up in their relationship that Hyunjin wasn’t going to take lightly.

Jeongin gulped, pulling back only a smidge. “Is this still okay, Hyunnie?”

“It’s always okay when it’s with you,” He reaffirmed, tilting his head into Jeongin’s warm palm. It was sweaty now, clamming up from his nerves and all the minutes they spent simply staring at one another. He wouldn’t change it for the world.

Jeongin nodded, then slowly allowed his eyes to fall shut. His lashes splayed across his flush skin, the artificial blush on the apples of cheeks paling in comparison to the real deal. Hyunjin then followed suit, letting Jeongin take the lead as he succumbed to the inevitable.

He felt a press of lips against his own, shy and new. It was meager, raw, and barely lasting a breath, but it encompassed all of Hyunjin’s body. Warmth whipped and licked at his thoughts, his senses. It left him drunk off Jeongin, hazy desperation clinging to his nerves as he craved for more. But he convinced himself he was still satisfied with the generous taste he received. He reminded himself that Jeongin was giving all he could, that he couldn’t take more than he was ready to gift him.

So, he let himself revel in the feeling, the afterglow of a first kiss that, to anyone else, would probably be mediocre at best. But to Hyunjin? Oh, this was like a blessing. A wish from a shooting star, even. He would keep this night, this moment, tucked away inside the deepest caverns of his heart.

“Was- Was that okay?” Jeongin broke into his ramblings, gently ushering him back to reality with shaky sniffles. “Did I do well?” The rims of his eyelids were suddenly red and watery, glistening with unshed tears that made the gallows of Hyunjin’s being twist in agony. “Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin shushed him, releasing his hand so both of his palms could find purchase on his supple cheeks. He cradled him like he was made of the most delicate porcelain, touch featherlight. He nuzzled into Jeongin, nudging the tip of his nose along the slope of his. “You did so well. I’m so proud of you. That kiss was better than anything I could have imagined,” He praised, “My Innie did so well for me.”

Jeongin deflated, tense shoulders sagging with tempered relief as he leaned his weight into Hyunjin. Hyunjin simply held him, their foreheads pressed together as they breathed each other in. He caressed his cheeks, planting soft kisses to his cupid’s bow till Jeongin’s airy giggle resounded off the walls. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you,” He whispered finally. 

“You did all that you could, angel. I’ll treasure every second of it.” 

Jeongin’s lips curled into a genuine smile, a comfortable and homey thing. He pitched forward to daintily peck the corner of Hyunjin’s mouth. “And I’ll treasure every second I spend beside you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gosh this fic was a ride. i’m honestly so proud of how it turned out, even if i struggled at times with writing it. this fic garnered a lot more attention than i thought, but i couldn’t be happier with how it was received.  
> i was especially nervous about the topics i was covering, and if they were too intense for a story like this. but all the support you guys gave me and the reassurance from the fellow mentally ill readers reinforced my desire to write this. i wanted it to show that yes, when you’re young you’re going to make mistakes and you’re going to do things that an older you will frown upon, but you must grow from that. no matter how your past has changed you, no matter how your issues and trauma have shaped you, you are still deserving of happiness. you are deserving of love and patience.  
> i don’t know how obvious i made this, but a large part of the story was the clashing of jeongin and hyunjin’s differing love languages. jeongin, who cannot voice his feelings and struggles with physical affection, yet needs words to understand how his partners and friends feel towards him. and hyunjin, who thrives off verbal affirmations and touch, and can dish it out just as eagerly. jeongin pushed himself to accept and give hyunjin what he needed and in turn, hyunjin gifted him the patience to stand by him through his journey of becoming okay with acts of intimacy. however, i want it to be clear that hyunjin’s patience is not a privilege that he can take away from jeongin when he pleases. jeongin needs that to be able to safely recover, and he should never be forced to rush through it for the sake of someone else. no one should be put in that position for anyone.  
> all of you helped me stay motivated while writing this, from your likes / kudos to your kind comments and ccs. all of you have reinvigorated my want to write and continue to improve my skills. i hope you all continue to support me with my future works, whenever they may be posted.  
> thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for seeing this through. and a special thank you to rie @bitnarle for listening to me plan this out and pester her for months on end.  
> i appreciate everything all of have sent me and i hope that this fic left you with the same happy feeling in your heart it left me.  
> \- xavier @yananvation


	28. ONE SHOTS

hey everyone !!! we all know tht this fic is over buttttt i decided that maybe i could do some one shots to answer some questions or just show how hyunjin and jeongin’s relationship blossoms over time AFTER the original plot of this fic. like, for example, the first time they say i love you to each other or (if you’re more on the angst side of things) their first real fight as a couple. i can also focus on some side characters cause there is a LOT you guys don’t know about some of them.

ive already posted the first one shot in the collection [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25361311/chapters/61492867) so please check it out !!! and you can comment there or in my cc about what you wanna see as a one shot !!!! thank u guys sm i love u all 💛💛

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! this is my first chatfic ever so lmk what you think by leaving comments/kudos !
> 
> \- updates every wednesday !  
> \- read the social media version on [ twt](https://twitter.com/yananvation/status/1197200313415086081?s=21) !  
> \- talk to me on my [ cc ](https://curiouscat.me/yananvation) !


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